Stuck in a bad relationship? Spot the warning signs with a 'red flag radar'

The Advertiser

12-06-2025

Spotting signs of manipulation, coercive control and trauma bonding in relationships has become a little easier with the development of a new therapy platform.
The 'Red Flag Radar: Relationship Self-Assessment', a free guide developed by Online Psychologists Australia, was released in June to help people recognise negative relationship patterns.
"If you've ever found yourself googling questions like, 'Am I being manipulated?', 'Is my relationship toxic, or just intense?', 'Why is it so hard to leave?'...you're not alone," the guide said.
"So many people quietly search for answers, trying to make sense of pain they can't always name.
"While Google can give definitions, not all the answers are online. Sometimes the truth reveals itself only when you pause, reflect, and honestly listen to your own inner voice."
Sarah Richardson, the CEO of Online Psychologists Australia's parent company, Healthbright, said the guide takes readers through the warning signs of controlling, critical and gaslighting behaviours.
She said it also provided resources for planning a safe exit from the relationship.
Around one in five Australians have reported experiencing physical, sexual, family or domestic violence since the age of 15, according to the Australian Bureau of Statistics (ABS) Personal Safety Survey 2021-2022.
Recent crime data from NSW showed that domestic violence and sexual assaults were surging in regional areas, with some parts recording a spike of up to 24 per cent over two years.
Despite the scale of the issue, reporting remains low, with less than 40 per cent of victims seeking advice or support, according to the Red Flag Radar guide.
This was due, in part, to "a little-understood psychological response" known as trauma bonding, where victims form deep emotional attachments to their abusers, the guide said.
"When you are bonded through a trauma, it's because someone has criticised you, it's because someone is being manipulative towards you, and you don't really know how to get away from that person," Ms Richardson said.
"So you are bonded to them through the trauma that they are creating."
The behaviour was often followed by "regret and affection" from the partner.
It may be very difficult for victims to identify, and even harder to escape, she said.
"The signs of trauma bonding and toxic dynamics aren't always obvious, especially when love, fear, and hope are tangled together," the guide said.
"Healing begins when you stop looking for permission to trust your instincts and start honouring what you already feel."
Support is available for those who may be distressed:
Spotting signs of manipulation, coercive control and trauma bonding in relationships has become a little easier with the development of a new therapy platform.
The 'Red Flag Radar: Relationship Self-Assessment', a free guide developed by Online Psychologists Australia, was released in June to help people recognise negative relationship patterns.
"If you've ever found yourself googling questions like, 'Am I being manipulated?', 'Is my relationship toxic, or just intense?', 'Why is it so hard to leave?'...you're not alone," the guide said.
"So many people quietly search for answers, trying to make sense of pain they can't always name.
"While Google can give definitions, not all the answers are online. Sometimes the truth reveals itself only when you pause, reflect, and honestly listen to your own inner voice."
Sarah Richardson, the CEO of Online Psychologists Australia's parent company, Healthbright, said the guide takes readers through the warning signs of controlling, critical and gaslighting behaviours.
She said it also provided resources for planning a safe exit from the relationship.
Around one in five Australians have reported experiencing physical, sexual, family or domestic violence since the age of 15, according to the Australian Bureau of Statistics (ABS) Personal Safety Survey 2021-2022.
Recent crime data from NSW showed that domestic violence and sexual assaults were surging in regional areas, with some parts recording a spike of up to 24 per cent over two years.
Despite the scale of the issue, reporting remains low, with less than 40 per cent of victims seeking advice or support, according to the Red Flag Radar guide.
This was due, in part, to "a little-understood psychological response" known as trauma bonding, where victims form deep emotional attachments to their abusers, the guide said.
"When you are bonded through a trauma, it's because someone has criticised you, it's because someone is being manipulative towards you, and you don't really know how to get away from that person," Ms Richardson said.
"So you are bonded to them through the trauma that they are creating."
The behaviour was often followed by "regret and affection" from the partner.
It may be very difficult for victims to identify, and even harder to escape, she said.
"The signs of trauma bonding and toxic dynamics aren't always obvious, especially when love, fear, and hope are tangled together," the guide said.
"Healing begins when you stop looking for permission to trust your instincts and start honouring what you already feel."
Support is available for those who may be distressed:
Spotting signs of manipulation, coercive control and trauma bonding in relationships has become a little easier with the development of a new therapy platform.
The 'Red Flag Radar: Relationship Self-Assessment', a free guide developed by Online Psychologists Australia, was released in June to help people recognise negative relationship patterns.
"If you've ever found yourself googling questions like, 'Am I being manipulated?', 'Is my relationship toxic, or just intense?', 'Why is it so hard to leave?'...you're not alone," the guide said.
"So many people quietly search for answers, trying to make sense of pain they can't always name.
"While Google can give definitions, not all the answers are online. Sometimes the truth reveals itself only when you pause, reflect, and honestly listen to your own inner voice."
Sarah Richardson, the CEO of Online Psychologists Australia's parent company, Healthbright, said the guide takes readers through the warning signs of controlling, critical and gaslighting behaviours.
She said it also provided resources for planning a safe exit from the relationship.
Around one in five Australians have reported experiencing physical, sexual, family or domestic violence since the age of 15, according to the Australian Bureau of Statistics (ABS) Personal Safety Survey 2021-2022.
Recent crime data from NSW showed that domestic violence and sexual assaults were surging in regional areas, with some parts recording a spike of up to 24 per cent over two years.
Despite the scale of the issue, reporting remains low, with less than 40 per cent of victims seeking advice or support, according to the Red Flag Radar guide.
This was due, in part, to "a little-understood psychological response" known as trauma bonding, where victims form deep emotional attachments to their abusers, the guide said.
"When you are bonded through a trauma, it's because someone has criticised you, it's because someone is being manipulative towards you, and you don't really know how to get away from that person," Ms Richardson said.
"So you are bonded to them through the trauma that they are creating."
The behaviour was often followed by "regret and affection" from the partner.
It may be very difficult for victims to identify, and even harder to escape, she said.
"The signs of trauma bonding and toxic dynamics aren't always obvious, especially when love, fear, and hope are tangled together," the guide said.
"Healing begins when you stop looking for permission to trust your instincts and start honouring what you already feel."
Support is available for those who may be distressed:
Spotting signs of manipulation, coercive control and trauma bonding in relationships has become a little easier with the development of a new therapy platform.
The 'Red Flag Radar: Relationship Self-Assessment', a free guide developed by Online Psychologists Australia, was released in June to help people recognise negative relationship patterns.
"If you've ever found yourself googling questions like, 'Am I being manipulated?', 'Is my relationship toxic, or just intense?', 'Why is it so hard to leave?'...you're not alone," the guide said.
"So many people quietly search for answers, trying to make sense of pain they can't always name.
"While Google can give definitions, not all the answers are online. Sometimes the truth reveals itself only when you pause, reflect, and honestly listen to your own inner voice."
Sarah Richardson, the CEO of Online Psychologists Australia's parent company, Healthbright, said the guide takes readers through the warning signs of controlling, critical and gaslighting behaviours.
She said it also provided resources for planning a safe exit from the relationship.
Around one in five Australians have reported experiencing physical, sexual, family or domestic violence since the age of 15, according to the Australian Bureau of Statistics (ABS) Personal Safety Survey 2021-2022.
Recent crime data from NSW showed that domestic violence and sexual assaults were surging in regional areas, with some parts recording a spike of up to 24 per cent over two years.
Despite the scale of the issue, reporting remains low, with less than 40 per cent of victims seeking advice or support, according to the Red Flag Radar guide.
This was due, in part, to "a little-understood psychological response" known as trauma bonding, where victims form deep emotional attachments to their abusers, the guide said.
"When you are bonded through a trauma, it's because someone has criticised you, it's because someone is being manipulative towards you, and you don't really know how to get away from that person," Ms Richardson said.
"So you are bonded to them through the trauma that they are creating."
The behaviour was often followed by "regret and affection" from the partner.
It may be very difficult for victims to identify, and even harder to escape, she said.
"The signs of trauma bonding and toxic dynamics aren't always obvious, especially when love, fear, and hope are tangled together," the guide said.
"Healing begins when you stop looking for permission to trust your instincts and start honouring what you already feel."
Support is available for those who may be distressed: