Letter writer can't get answers about friend's death
Her attorney's secretary won't let me talk to him, citing attorney-client confidentiality, even though she is deceased, and he withdrew himself from representing her upon her death. The heir of her estate will not return my calls. I can't even nail down where she died so I can file a Freedom of Information Act request with the appropriate law enforcement agencies.
Get Love Letters: The Newsletter
A weekly dispatch with all the best relationship content and commentary – plus exclusive content for fans of Love Letters, Dinner With Cupid, weddings, therapy talk, and more.
Enter Email
Sign Up
I don't have a claim on her estate. I have no ulterior motive whatsoever. I just want to know what happened to my old friend. I have tried everything I know. I was hoping that you might have some ideas.
Advertisement
FRIEND IN THE DARK
A.
You have my sympathies — it can be so difficult to learn of a friend's passing and not have the closure afforded by a service, a conversation, or more information.
It's possible that Mary's heir and/or her family want to keep the circumstances of her death private. It's also possible that there isn't much to know and, were you to discover it, it wouldn't give you the peace you're seeking.
Advertisement
Some of this pursuit is probably motivated by grief. That makes sense. And it's perfectly natural to want to know more details about a loved one's death. But details won't serve you as much as finding a way to commemorate the relationship that you had and the life that she lived.
Take some time to focus on her, maybe on a walk in nature or someplace that held special meaning to you both. Thank her for being a part of your life and wish her well on her journey. The 'how' of her death matters, but the details of her life and your relationship matter more and will help sustain you through your grief.
Q.
This is in reference to 'Worried in Wisconsin,' from a substance abuse clinician who was concerned about a niece's opioid abuse.
Speaking as a physician, make sure everyone in your niece's life has and knows how to use Narcan. Only the niece can decide to pursue treatment, but anyone can provide lifesaving treatment if she overdoses.
PHYSICIAN READER
A.
Narcan, a brand name for naloxone, a medication that is used to rapidly reverse opioid overdoses, is an important resource.
It is available, in some cases for free and prescription-free, through some state and local agencies and community distribution programs. It comes in multiple forms including a nasal spray. Bystander training can be completed in less than an hour and is available online through organizations like the Red Cross and many states' Department of Health.
While naloxone can reverse the effects of opioid overdose, per the National Institute of Drug Abuse, it is still imperative to call 911 immediately so that the individual can receive attention and continued monitoring.
Advertisement
Q.
I read the letter from 'Outside Only,' who had a guest at a Fourth of July party who said it was too hot outside and spent the evening inside.
I know you were answering the host, but you were not empathetic to the guest. There are some people who simply cannot handle heat. I am one of them. Outside summer heat causes me intense physical pain and discomfort and makes it very difficult to even visit with others and enjoy a party.
Now that the hostess knows this is a problem, this year she could try to accommodate all of her guests by putting up seating under umbrellas, or in the shade of the house, or setting out fans in a couple of areas.
How many people really enjoy being outside in the middle of the hot summer sun for hours?
NEBRASKA IS HOT
A.
From the letter, it sounds like the host was actually quite accommodating — no word on umbrellas as it was an evening party, but the letter writer spent the duration of the event inside with the guest even though the fireworks-viewing party was, as they tend to be, outside.
However, not to put too fine a point on it, but sometimes guests have to make a decision about whether a particular party is for them. If the gathering is outside and one doesn't want to be outside, one doesn't have to go.
R. Eric Thomas can be reached at
.
Hashtags
Try Our AI Features
Explore what Daily8 AI can do for you:
Comments
No comments yet...
Related Articles
Yahoo
32 minutes ago
- Yahoo
Five-alarm fire rips through downtown Montreal building, 2nd major fire in a week
Around 150 firefighters and 50 vehicles were at the scene of a five-alarm fire in downtown Montreal on Tuesday morning. Montreal fire department section chief André Laflamme said a fire broke out just before 2 a.m. in a three-story building on Crescent Street, near the intersection of René-Lévesque Boulevard. The cause of the fire is not yet known, but Laflamme said it started on the second floor and quickly spread the the third floor and the roof. The building, he said, was unoccupied and not supplied in electricity. No one was injured in the blaze, but a neighbouring building was evacuated. Laflamme said two residents are being housed by the Red Cross due to water damage in their unit. The cause of the fire is not yet known. By 6:45 a.m., Laflamme said there was no more smoke or flames that were visible, but firefighters were still looking for possible hotspots. A perimeter was set up on Crescent Street between Sainte-Catherine Street and René-Lévesque Boulevard. Motorists were being asked to avoid the area. The blaze marks the second five-alarm fire in the downtown area in the last week. Last Tuesday, a fire destroyed a 140-year-old building located on Towers Street.
Yahoo
8 hours ago
- Yahoo
Limited space, slow intake raise challenges for some Nisichawayasihk evacuees at Winnipeg congregate shelter
Charter flights and buses loaded with hundreds of evacuees forced out by wildfires burning near Nisichawayasihk Cree Nation are expected to arrive in Winnipeg on Monday, but some are expressing concerns over the conditions at the congregate shelter most are heading to. A mandatory evacuation order for residents at the Cree Nation, also known as Nelson House, came in during the weekend over poor air quality and fears wildfires would shut down the only access road to the community, located roughly 600 northwest of Winnipeg. Just over 1,500 residents — including all priority evacuees, among them children, elders and people with underlying health conditions — had left the community by Sunday, Councillor Kim Linklater told CBC News. With little to no hotel rooms available in Winnipeg, Nisichawayasihk is expecting most of its evacuees to stay at Manitoba's congregate shelter in the RBC Convention Centre. But some evacuees have reported long waits at the facility to register with the Red Cross, some contacting Linklater into the early hours of Monday morning, arguing they have not been able to secure a cot to sleep on. "They're getting very upset and they are tired," Linklater said. "I understand there's a shortage everywhere, but when you're expecting a community, everything should be prepared already beforehand." Lenora Spence and her 23-year-old son arrived at the convention centre in Winnipeg at around 12:40 a.m. on Monday after they were flown out from Nisichawayasihk with one suitcase. She said it took them hours to get a space at the congregate shelter and with hundreds of others crammed in the facility, it has been challenging to take care of her son with special medical needs. "I feel safe from the fire, but this ain't safe … for him," she said. For Spence, it was a priority to get her son out of the northern community as soon as possible because he is epileptic and with the wildfire smoke, he has been experiencing more seizures than before. But "it is very hard … [to] have a non-verbal child that's not able to be around a lot of people in the environment and sleep in a cot with no blanket." Some of those concerns are also worrying Nichole Wood-Hart, an evacuee from Nisichawayasihk who has been staying at the congregate shelter with her five daughters and son. "It's not safe for them to be in this place," she said. "It's not safe for them to run around … out here, even though they need fresh air." Space at the congregate shelter is limited, and the number of people staying inside rises day by day, Wood-Hart said. Access to the washroom is limited due to overcrowding, and Wood-Hart's family has been limited to staying in a small space with people walking around at all times. "It's hard because I'm always worrying," she said. "I'm crazy about protecting my daughters because it's dangerous out here." While she has asked for help to get supplies like milk for her newborn child, she said the support is limited and comes only after insisting on volunteers. "I just wish that they could help us better. This is not a place to keep so many kids all together." The Red Cross said in a statement that it's working with the province and Indigenous Services Canada to support evacuees. As of July 30, more than 28,000 people from over 11,000 households in Manitoba have registered with the organization. 2,000 still waiting to leave Nisichawayasihk Deputy Chief Marcel Moody said it is a "difficult time" for the community, they are trying to manage without enough hotel spaces to accommodate the residents who are already out, and the 2,000 in the waiting line to leave. "At the convention centre the building is cold, you don't have enough blankets, there's kids running around, crying and the intake process is slow," Moody said. But the Cree Nation is trying to address those issues in hopes of keeping the community together while it is evacuated. "There's some issues in Winnipeg with people going missing, drinking and potential sexual exploitation, we have to make sure our people are safe." At least three wildfires are burning close near Nisichawayasihk, Moody said. The closest one is roughly 10 kilometres north of the community, while another blaze is growing about 20 kilometres west of the Cree Nation. The latest data from Manitoba's wildfire services map shows at least two wildfires burning north of Nisichawayasihk, including one that has grown to over 46,000 hectares by Saturday. According to the province's latest fire bulletin, issued last week, the Manitoba Wildfire Service was responding to 127 active wildfires across the province, which has seen a total of 351 wildfires to date, well above the average for this time of year of 276. "The winds have been favourable," Moody said. But extended precipitation is still needed to help wildfire services put out the flames. "[We] hope for the best, the summer is going to be over in four weeks, maybe the first fire won't be out until we have snow," Moody said. "It is crazy." Find the latest wildfire information at these sources: Are you an evacuee who needs assistance? Contact Manitoba 211 by calling 211 from anywhere in Manitoba or email 211mb@
CBS News
a day ago
- CBS News
Three people, including child, escape Wilton Manors house fire
Three people, including a child, are safe after a fast-moving fire damaged their Wilton Manors home early Monday morning. Fort Lauderdale Fire Rescue said just before 6 a.m. they received 911 calls about the fire on NE 27 Street near NE 17 Terrace. When firefighters arrived, they found flames burning on the side of the home where it is connected to the electrical power. The flames had reached the home's attic, which fire rescue said complicated efforts to put it out. Another complication, according to fire rescue, is that it took an hour and a half to shut down power to the home. Just after 8 a.m., firefighters were able to extinguish it. Fire rescue said the family who lives in the home were able to make it out and no injuries were reported. However, due to the fire's damage, they will have to find a temporary place to stay and the Red Cross is assisting them with that. What sparked the fire is under investigation.
