I lost my daughter to Kpod addiction: Father of 19-year-old shares heartbreak and lessons

Straits Times

2 days ago

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Mr Delfard Tay's daughter died of multiple injuries after falling from a height in September 2024.
SINGAPORE – The last image Mr Delfard Tay has of his 19-year-old daughter Shermaine is a video of her stumbling out of their three-room flat in Tanjong Pagar.
She looks unsteady in the footage, as she tries to get up from the sofa she slept on in the living room.
It was a familiar sight – and Mr Tay knew she had used Kpod, a type of vape pod containing liquid laced with the powerful anaesthetic drug etomidate.
For months in 2024, he had argued with his only child, urging her to quit using Kpods.
He knew how destructive substance addiction could be – after all, he had criminal convictions for drug trafficking and other offences.
Mr Tay, 43, said his daughter had been under drug supervision for using methamphetamine or Ice, which she had consumed at her boyfriend's home some time between 2023 and 2024.
It was her first brush with the law, and she did not abuse drugs after that, he added.
She then tried to convince him that Kpods were safe, but her addiction to them ended her life.
Mr Tay said with a sigh: 'I wanted to lead by example and tell her to stay away from drugs and Kpods... But it was a bit too late.'
The timestamp on the minute-long video, captured by a security camera he had installed in his flat to monitor his grandmother, reads '2.30am, Sept 22, 2024'.
At the time, Mr Tay, who is divorced, was at his girlfriend's home.
About 90 minutes after his daughter left the flat, Mr Tay received a call from the police.
She had been found at the foot of their HDB block. Her mobile phone was recovered from the 18th floor.
There was no message or final call, said Mr Tay.
A pathology report stated that the teenager died of multiple injuries after falling from a height.
'My mind went blank for 30 minutes when I was told how she died,' recalled Mr Tay.
'I went home to identify her body, still in a singlet and shorts. But when I saw the last video, I knew (her death) had something to do with Kpods.'
Mr Tay, who handed the video to the police, declined to share it with The Straits Times.
He also has two other videos of his daughter behaving erratically in 2024 while using a vape.
Mr Tay said he does not want his daughter – whom he affectionately called Ah B, short for 'baby' – to be remembered as a user of Kpods. Instead, he showed videos of her on TikTok having fun and behaving like a typical teenager.
Checks by ST showed she also posted numerous videos of herself using vaporisers , which have been banned in Singapore since 2018.
In a May report, the United Nations Office on Drugs and Crime said that Kpods sold in Singapore have been found to contain either etomidate or ketamine, a Class A controlled drug.
An absentee father's regret
Mr Tay, a manager at a logistics company, said his daughter told him in January 2024 that she was using Kpods.
'I asked her, 'Why are you doing all this?'' he said. 'I told her that after reading health warnings that vaping is unhealthy – why even try Kpods?'
She showed him the device, saying: 'When you smoke it, you'll feel high.'
'She knew I was against (substance addiction),' Mr Tay told ST, adding that he did not want her to go down the wrong path like him.
When told not to vape, she retorted that he did not understand young people and that he did not trust her.
About four months later, the teen was caught on the home's surveillance camera in a semi-conscious state, convulsing.
That was the first time they fought bitterly.
'I shared with her my experience with drugs and I told her that after coming out of prison (in 2022), I was never going to do drugs or participate in any vice... I wanted to be a good example for her,' Mr Tay said. 'But she wouldn't listen.'
After that, her demeanour changed. She became quieter and seldom confided in him.
Looking back on her life, Mr Tay said she lacked family love as he was an 'absentee father'.
'She wasn't looking up to me, but I really didn't know how to care for her as a single parent,' he said. 'My grandma and auntie took care of her.'
When his daughter was about 10 months old, Mr Tay was imprisoned for drug trafficking. When she turned 14, he went back to prison.
He spent a total of 10 years behind bars – over eight stints – for drug and gang-related offences from the age of 16.
'I'm not proud of it... I know I neglected her a lot of times,' he said.
The teenager dropped out of school after Secondary 3 and promoted some products on social media.
Troubling behaviour of Kpod abuse
Mr Tay's story mirrors that of the mother of a 27-year-old man who became hooked on Kpods from October 2024.
In an interview with Shin Min Daily News in June , the 56-year-old woman said she had to physically restrain her son after he came down from a vape-fuelled high and tried to jump out of the living room window.
In an interview with Shin Min Daily News in June, a woman said she had to physically restrain her son after he came down from a vape-fuelled high and tried to jump out of the living room window.
PHOTO: SHIN MIN DAILY NEWS READER
Security cameras installed in her home captured the distressing scene. During the violent struggle, her son scratched her neck.
The woman, who was not identified, shared her story to remind other parents to pay more attention to their children and seek help if something is not right.
In the past two months, netizens have posted numerous videos online showing young people shaking uncontrollably, purportedly after using Kpods.
When ST showed Mr Tay a video clip from the internet of three intoxicated youths walking like zombies in Punggol, Mr Tay singled out one of them.
He said that whenever his daughter used Kpods, she walked in the same unsteady way, as if her joints were 'jammed'.
In the days leading up to her death, she was quiet as usual and Mr Tay did not notice anything out of the ordinary.
Although she suffered from an anxiety attack in 2019, there was no indication that she was depressed, according to Mr Tay.
Lessons from loss
Since his daughter's death, Mr Tay has been kept awake on some nights.
'Sometimes I can't sleep. I find myself thinking of her,' he said.
'I will busy myself with TikTok or playing computer games. When I close my eyes, I ask myself, 'Why didn't I do this or that (to help her)?''
Mr Tay will donate some of his daughter's clothes, but will keep her treasured make-up kit, scrapbook, letters and photos.
Her birthday gift to him – a luxury-brand pouch and a set of Lilo & Stitch toys – are displayed in his office.
Despite his jail time, Mr Tay has fond memories of his daughter growing up – from short breaks in Kuala Lumpur and a trip to Disneyland in Hong Kong after her PSLE.
Photos show her smiling widely and, as her father recalled, she was always dancing with glee.
In February , Mr Tay added a tattoo to the back of his left hand – an image of Crayon Shin-chan, a popular Japanese cartoon.
His daughter often watched the show dubbed in Mandarin when she was a primary school pupil, while waiting for him to return from work.
Mr Delfard Tay's Crayon Shin-chan tattoo. His daughter often watched the Japanese cartoon dubbed in Mandarin when she was a primary school pupil, while waiting for him to return from work.
ST PHOTO: GIN TAY
During the interview, Mr Tay sometimes turned silent, with his gaze fixed on the floor.
'I can't understand why she wanted to use this thing (Kpod),' he said. 'But when I think back... it was because of curiosity.'
He recalled her saying that her urine would not test positive for any drug content.
On Telegram , a post touted a 'convenient' way to get high, falsely claiming that drugs cannot be detected in urine tests. Some sellers claimed they also sold vape liquid with ketamine. A check by ST found that Kpods cost between $50 and $100.
Mr Tay said police investigators told him that no drug content was found in his daughter during a post-mortem, but he did not receive any official document on this.
At her three-day wake, many of her friends from church and elsewhere turned up.
'Everyone was asking what happened, but I didn't have answers for them,' said Mr Tay. 'I was angry at first, but I don't blame any of Shermaine's friends for her death.'
At the wake, he learnt that one of her friends had died from abusing Kpods in the same week.
Mr Tay decided to share her story – and his regrets – so that other parents will know what to look out for.
'Teenagers from age 12 to 15 have access to mobile phones, and they have Telegram chats,' he said.
'Parents need to look into their (children's) mobile phones, know what kind of people they are mixing with, and that's quite important.'
Mr Tay also wants young people to learn from Shermaine's death.
'I know you're curious about all these things (like Kpods),' he said.
'But do not try it. Once you cannot stop, you'll be in bondage to it for a long time, and it will not only affect you, but also your family members.'
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