What to Say When You Forget Someone's Name
It's a wonder that anyone remembers anyone else's name after just meeting. Most people are visually wired, which means we're good with faces, but—was it Alyssa or Elizabeth? Hewitt or Wyatt? Elijah or Isaiah?
'When we're meeting someone, there are so many things going through our minds,' says Thomas Farley, an etiquette expert also known as Mister Manners. 'We're trying to remember, 'Have I met this person before? Who do they remind me of? Oh, I love that necklace they're wearing. That's a great haircut. I wonder where she got that purse.' At the moment when someone is giving us their name, we're flooded with so many other things we're thinking about and processing at the same time.'
Hence: those tricky moments when we meet again and have no idea how to address them. What do you say, especially when the other person seems to know exactly who you are? We asked experts what to say when you forget someone's name.
People tend to feel 'very awkward' asking someone to repeat their name if they didn't properly hear it the first time around, Farley says. He doesn't understand why: 'Have you ever been in a scenario where you kindly asked someone to repeat their name, and the response you got back was no, they already said it once?' Exactly—so ask directly instead of silently agonizing over what they might have said, he advises.
Read More: The Best Way to Interrupt Someone
Ideally, you can provide some context that indicates you remember your last encounter. Maybe you met at an anime convention, for example, or a mutual friend's wedding. Otherwise, 'You're not only name-blanking them, but also face-blanking them, which I think is more uncomfortable—when you just blank stare at someone and have zero recollection,' Farley says. 'That's telling them, 'You were so unmemorable, I don't even remember your face. I don't remember a thing about you.'' Before the other person responds, he adds, you should mention your own name—because chances are, they've forgotten who you are, too.
This line is both playful and intentionally over-the-top: 'Nobody thinks you seriously believe their name is Archibald, like it's the year 1899,' says Jeff Callahan, a communication expert who's the founder of Become More Compelling. 'You're using humor to turn a moment of awkwardness into connection.' Plus, he likes that it signals confidence: You're not afraid to call yourself out in a fun way. Say it with mock certainty and a slight smile, Callahan advises, and pause before the punchline. You'll usually get a laugh before you get a name.
By owning that you're the one who forgot, you make the predicament about you, not the other person. 'It shows respect,' Callahan says. 'You're saying the lapse is yours, and you're fixing it.' If it feels natural, pair your delivery with a small smile or laugh, he adds, which can lighten up the moment.
Read More: How to Say 'I Told You So' in a More Effective Way
Everyone has so-called senior moments. This is a way to use humor to acknowledge what's happening, while signaling self-awareness and warmth, says Melissa Klass, a licensed marriage and family therapist in Los Angeles. She suggests using a bright tone and maybe pairing it with a small shrug. 'You're not groveling,' she says. 'You're inviting connection."
Reframe what could be an awkward moment as an opportunity to include the other person, shifting attention away from your memory lapse. The caveat: You can only use this strategy if there's truly an introduction to make.
Give this question a spin in casual or professional settings where first names are the default. 'It gives them a chance to say it without calling out your forgetfulness,' Klass says. But she advises using it sparingly—it's clever but not foolproof, especially if they reply 'J-O-E.'
Wondering what to say in a tricky social situation? Email timetotalk@time.com
Contact us at letters@time.com.
Try Our AI Features
Explore what Daily8 AI can do for you:
Comments
No comments yet...
Related Articles
Yahoo
4 hours ago
- Yahoo
Katie Price and son Harvey in Isle of Wight trip for 'family time'
Celebrity and former glamour model Katie Price is visiting the Isle of Wight with son Harvey for some 'family time'. Posting to her three million Facebook followers, the 47-year-old uploaded pictures of the pair of them at the Red Funnel ferry terminal in Southampton, and arriving in Cowes. The caption said: "And we are off", followed by boat emojis and hashtags saying 'family time', 'I love it' and 'exciting times'. Katie's cocker spaniel Rookie has also come along for the journey. Read more: Katie Price enjoys 'family time' on the Isle of Wight Katie Price shares Isle of Wight Festival 2024 photos Katie Price out and about on the Isle of Wight during weekend visit Celebrity inadvertently photobombs school's beach photo She also posted a video telling Harvey that they were going on "the white/Wight boat" to see "nanny and grandad". Katie is a frequent visitor to the Island and it's thought her mum Amy and stepfather Paul both live here. In February, she was seen out and about in Cowes town centre. Joined by JJ Slater, mum Amy and sister Sophie, the former glamour model visited a number of Island shops and businesses. While dining in cafe Sails of Cowes, Katie was filmed video calling son Harvey. In April, she was spotted in the background of a picture posted by an Isle of Wight school, inadvertently photobombing while pupils enjoyed themselves on the beach. Last year she was seen at the Isle of Wight Festival.
Yahoo
a day ago
- Yahoo
How All Time Low Turned Outside Noise Into New Music
Twenty years into their career as a band, All Time Low hit a crossroads. They had just re-recorded and released a compilation album, revisiting the catalog hits that made them pop-punk pioneers in the mid-aughts. As All Time Low tapped into the nostalgia of past milestones, they were forced to contend with their legacy, and more importantly, what next steps to take. Would they walk away or brave a new chapter? That question also came as the band was embroiled in a major legal drama, which involved a defamation suit All Time Low filed in response to serious accusations of sexual abuse by fans online against founding guitarist Jack Barakat. A storm of controversy ensued as the All Time Low fanbase split into two camps: supporters and detractors of the band, both unequivocal in their stances. It all made the band's next move particularly important. More from Rolling Stone Warped Tour to Head to Washington, D.C., for Second Consecutive Year Warped Tour Pulled Off the Impossible and Took Fans Back in Time Cartel to Celebrate 'Chroma' 20th Anniversary With Re-Recording and Fall Tour Last August, All Time Low played three shows in celebration of their compilation album, which they dubbed the Forever Shows. The Baltimore-bred band performed to 14,000 ecstatic fans at their hometown amphitheater. It was their biggest show to date. Electrified by the crowd of dedicated fans who sang nearly every lyric back to them, All Time Low found the answer to the question hanging over them. 'There's still a story to be told here and there's still another chapter for All Time Low,' lead singer and guitarist Alex Gaskarth says over Zoom. 'It really made us fall in love with the band all over again and made us want to go and make this record,' he adds, reflecting on the pivotal 2024 performances. A few months after those Forever Shows, All Time Low requested to dismiss their defamation suit without prejudice. 'All Time Low has chosen to handle the matter privately and protect the identities of those behind Doe 2, instead of pursuing further litigation at this time… The investigation proved what All Time Low knew all along – the allegations in the posts are completely and utterly false,' the band's lawyer shared in a statement with Rolling Stone at the time. Now, All Time Low is ready to talk about it all. Rolling Stone spoke with Alex Gaskarth about the band's new chapter with aptly titled 10th LP Everyone's Talking!, how controversies influenced the record, and what the band's hope is for the future. You played at the Vans Warped Tour in D.C. for their and performed with the American University cheer squad and D.C.'s Different Drummers marching band. Why was it important to bring them onstage with you guys?There was a lot behind it. The idea came from us looking at the Warped Tour performance as a celebration. We knew that it was the 30th anniversary and we wanted to do something special and new and unique. We'd never really done a show where we had that many moving parts and other performers as an extension of our show. So it started as this fun challenge for us to try and tackle for such an epic day and a celebration of the Warped Tour. Then as we got into piecing it all together, the D.C.'s Different Drummers came to us and said they'd be down to be a part of it. We loved the idea of having a heavy representation on the stage. It was important to have, particularly that weekend when there was so much else going on in D.C. A lot of folks, especially in the LGBTQ+ community, I think are feeling scared and out of place. It was great to be able to use the Warped Tour environment that has always been known as a diverse and welcoming community to lift them up and to extend a warm hug at a time when it feels like everybody freaking needs a warm hug. You told the crowd, 'This is the place to be tonight in D.C., I'll tell you that.' Just a few miles away President Trump hosted his birthday . Was that a pointed remark?I can assure you it was. Soupy [Dan Campbell from The Wonder Years] put it slightly differently, but he said, 'I'm going to say it with my whole chest.' In hindsight, I probably should have said it with my whole chest, but this is me now retroactively clarifying that it was with my whole chest that I very much mean that was the place to be. You just announced your new album . When did you guys decide to get back into the studio?We write a lot with Dan Swank, our fifth Beatle, who is also producing the majority of this record. We wrote together on the road where we have a little studio set up on the bus. There were songs being written over the course of the Tell Me I'm Alive tour and The Forever Sessions tour but we didn't know if they were going to be a body of work. Around the time that we were starting to play those 20 year celebration shows, it just put us in this mindset of 'there's something here that we can keep going.' It set the tone. That's when we started piecing the songs together and made a real intentional effort to get back in the studio and write, write, write. We started putting together the actual album in the middle of last year. It was done in sections. We'd spend a few weeks here writing songs and step away. One of the things we've learned about making albums now is to give the songs some room to breathe and to come back to the ones that we truly love. There's a song on the album called 'Butterflies' that we wrote pretty close to the end of the process; I didn't need to live with that one to know that it was special. It's unlike anything we've done in a while. I fluctuate with my writing — there are songs with concepts that are very easy to follow and then sometimes there are songs where I lean a little more into more off-the-cuff poetry and it's left open for interpretation. 'Butterflies' leans a bit that way. It reminds me of the lyricism on Don't Panic, like something from that era kind of spun over into this one. When you look back at all the albums that you've made, it's fun to draw those comparisons and be like, 'Oh yeah, it's got a bit of that to it.' Why did you choose 'Suckerpunch' as the lead single?When we wrote it, there was a feeling in the room that day. We all said, 'This feels like the first thing that people need to hear.' It felt like a good statement like, 'Hi, we're here. We're back, and we're ready to go.' It was an exciting way to announce that we're back in a way that's hard not to pay attention to. It felt like coming out of the gates swinging with that heavy leaning guitar riff. We thought that would translate really well with a live audience too. You have a world tour kicking off in North America in the fall. With 10 albums to choose from now, how are you going to pick the setlist?It's really funny, the biggest argument that we have in the band at this point is about the setlist. Whenever we have to put together a show, it's tough. We always want to make a show that feels well-crafted. I personally always hate the nostalgia band vibe. I love our legacy and our old music, but I see us as a current band making current music. Whenever we put together a set list, I want to show love to the new songs while also fitting in the old. I feel really good about the fact that 'Suckerpunch' and 'The Weather' came out first. Sometimes the songs that end up going off live are deeper cuts on the album, but in this case, those two songs are going to translate really well for the live show. One focus of making this record was 'what's going to pop off at the shows?' We're putting our best foot forward there with these first two tracks. I can see a sea of people just bopping. Is there any particular song that a band member fights for?Oh yeah. If anyone so much as infers that we take 'Lost In Stereo' off a set list, Jack will not be a happy boy. That's his song. I don't know that it's ever left the set list because he fights hard for it. There have been times where we've been like, 'Hey man, what if for this tour we just didn't play that one and popped a different one in there?' He's like, 'No, I'll walk.' What's the significance behind the album title ?I think it's the dichotomy between gossip and celebration. There was this sentiment in the air off the tail of these Forever shows. There was a buzz about All Time Low again. There's the people that have been supportive of us through over 20 years, and then there's people that have found out about our band in more recent times with Wake Up Sunshine and Tell Me I'm Alive. It felt like for the first time in a long time the entire fandom was really buzzing over the story of All Time Low and what we've done over the course of our time as a band. We kept saying 'everyone's talking.' It was a phrase that kept getting thrown around, and then the more we honed in on the album, the more we were like, 'That's such a buzz-worthy title. Let's line it up.' It's definitely intriguing, even compared to some of the band's other album titles. Hell yeah, I'll take that. We were going for it. Over the past few years, the band has been involved in a very public legal battle. How has that impacted the making and release of ?Obviously it's been a dark cloud over our last few years. It was a really difficult thing to navigate and deal with. All of it has been talked about, covered, said, so there's not much more to say there, but it affected the writing process and the creative process in that what more was there to say when there was just this horrible thing that we were going through and navigating? It didn't make it easy to want to write about anything. Coming out the other side of it and getting to share our side of the experience, it feels good. It feels liberating, and it's nice to know that the truth is out there and that we can now proceed without this dark cloud hanging over us. It's a sigh of relief, honestly, and a breath of fresh air. We're so excited for the future. Fans in the All Time Low subreddit have that the lyrics in 'Suckerpunch' seem to reference the public legal battle from the past few years. Was that purposeful? Did you have an audience in mind when you wrote and released 'Suckerpunch'?Oh yeah. There's definitely a hint of that in the song. We live in a world these days where so much can be heavily influenced by faceless voices and opinions on the internet and on social media. The song was in response to some of that in the sense of there are people that resoundingly just seem to want to take you down and seem to get their kicks in the comments section being negative. This song is accepting that and being okay with being the punching bag. It's like, 'I'm going to put myself out there and I'm going to take this risk at living my dream. I know that's going to come with some licks along the way. I'm down to take a couple punches, let's go.' That felt liberating. This song was a way to acknowledge we're here to get past those things and continue to try to thrive. I just hope it feels hopeful. There's a tinge of hope to everything on this record that is exciting. What would you say in response to fans that might be hesitant to listen to the new project in light of the controversies from the past few years?I understand it in a way because it's never easy to see these things in the media and know how to feel about them. The main thing that I'll say is that we stand behind what we said. We established that in the best way we could in a court of law. We established what we set out to say all along, which is that All Time Low has always been a safe space and it's always been a place of cultivating support for people, support for one another, and bringing people together in a celebratory way. As far back as I can remember, that's been the message of our shows. The people that do come to our shows really feel that, and that's what they've told us all along. So much of what you see online is unfortunately not real and can be so easily made up and manipulated. We were living in the shadow of that for a while. That's why those 20 year celebration shows last year felt so good to kind of come out the other side of. It was about 14,000 people coming together under one roof to celebrate and have a great time and support one another in the community that we've been lucky to build around this band. We left the stage of those shows going, 'This is why we do this.' Does this album feel different from other projects after achieving that sense of liberation?Yes, I would say so. We're invigorated, we're inspired. We feel lucky to be able to do this, to be granted the platform and the privilege to take a stage every night. We've always felt that way, but it's much easier to acknowledge it when you've been through something as difficult as that. It really puts you in perspective of going like, 'man, we're lucky to do what we do.' It's nice that people come and support us doing what we love doing. The album is being released under your new label imprint Basement Noise Records. What was the reason to go that route and release the first independent record since your debut album?We were with Fueled by Ramen for the last couple records and it was an amazing label to be a part of. Then, as is the nature of the business, the parent company of Fueled By Ramen went through a massive shakeup. By the time the cards landed, we were mid-record cycle for Tell Me I'm Alive, and the label just wasn't the label that we signed with anymore. We've been around the sun enough times at this point as a band to know there's a tendency for things to change without you realizing and suddenly it's like you're not part of the machine that you signed up to be a part of. We had finished up with the [last] record and we were winding down the cycle and we saw all these people that we loved working with moving on from their jobs. We realized it was probably time for us to move on too. We wanted to take some of the control back and it felt like the right time to do that. It's one thing to be an artist and to make this body of work that you pour your blood, sweat and tears into and love so much and then hand it over to this big company and go, 'please do all the right things with this.' We're fortunate to be in a place where we have more say in the business side of things and the decisions that get made. It's just a really freeing place to be this deep into a career. Some of your peers like Mayday Parade and the Maine have also recently gone back to being independent again after years of being in a band. Has this trend come up in conversation at all?You're seeing it more and more now where artists are starting to approach the business with a little more awareness. We came up at the same time as bands like Mayday Parade and the Maine, and we were all just kids chasing a dream. It sounds corny, but that's what it was. We weren't put together in board meetings. We were kids that played VFW halls and just wanted to make loud music and then dove into the business. We were naive. All Time Low signed a deal that we were fortunate wasn't a terrible deal, but had we been presented with a terrible one, we probably would've signed it. We were just stoked to be at the table and there's a million stories of bands that did sign the bad deals. With all the years of experience that All Time Low has gained, how does it feel like to be guiding new up and coming bands like the Paradox?It's funny. It was actually Benji and Joel [Madden] that told me, 'Look, man, you're in the driver's seat now. You're in that position.' They were a bit older than us and when we were starting to come up, they really took us under their wing and showed us some ropes because we had a Maryland connection. We were lucky to have them as mentors. It hadn't really dawned on me that we were now in that position until they said it. I realized there are some artists out there that look to us for what to do. I would never be so bold as to assume anyone wants to hear what bullshit I have to say to them. At the same time, if anybody comes to us and asks how we handled specific situations or even watches us from the side stage and steals a couple of our jokes, I love it. That's what we did coming up and I think it's amazing to sort of be in those shoes now. What do you think it takes for a band to be 'in it for the long haul' in 2025?It's hard to say because the landscape has changed so much in music. It almost feels like there's no way of knowing exactly where the industry is going to go next. What it comes down to for me is performing. I love being on a stage and I love feeling the connection and the back and forth with an audience. I really respect artists who have maintained that for years. Some people criticize performers who are in their 60s, 70s, or 80s and say they should have thrown in the towel years ago. But these people are getting up on stage and doing the damn thing because they live and breathe their music. I was lucky enough to go to one of Paul McCartney's shows on the last tour. It was right before his 80th birthday, and the dude played for three hours nonstop. That is someone who loves to play music doing the damn thing. I aspire to be that. I want to be in the game for as long as I possibly can making music for people. Best of Rolling Stone Sly and the Family Stone: 20 Essential Songs The 50 Greatest Eminem Songs All 274 of Taylor Swift's Songs, Ranked Solve the daily Crossword
Yahoo
2 days ago
- Yahoo
Can Jamming Remotely Truly Match a Live Experience For Bands?
During the pandemic, we all got a hall pass to do remote work, mostly using Zoom to connect with coworkers, clients, friends, and even family members. But if you were a musician in a band, being remote created a particularly unique set of challenges. There were online music collaboration platforms and hacks out there at the time, yet most of them had quirks such as network latency delays, poor audio, and internet instability. The Virtual Jam Revolution Is Here Today, there is something that actually works: an advanced streaming solution that allows you to play with other musicians without the usual audio hiccups, workarounds, and lag time of previously released products. Think of the new online music collaboration platform, Lutefish, as a highly effective Zoom for musicians. It uses a dedicated hardware device that allows musicians to play in real-time jam sessions with players streaming in from as many as five different locations. The company advertises that musicians can be up to 500 miles apart, but some users report on social media that they can be 1,000+ miles away and still practice seamlessly. That creates a lot of new possibilities. More from Spin: The 10 Best Collective Soul Songs X and Los Lobos: Celebrating '99 Years of Rock n' Roll' Together 5 Things Everyone in the Music Industry Should Know But how big of an impact does Lutefish have for musicians? Orange County thrash metal band Trip To The Morgue has been experiencing a resurgence in popularity, leading to a very hectic schedule. They just signed to a new record label and are releasing an album, alongside maintaining a relentless national touring schedule. Recently, they needed to audition for a new backup guitarist, and found one who lived in Las Vegas, Nevada, while they remain in Orange County, California – a state away. Lead guitarist, James Patrick McCosar, explains that Lutefish was essential for helping the band adapt to their crazy scheduling, auditioning new faraway guitarists, finding one, then practicing together from different locations. 'So it was just in the nick of time that Lutefish came within our possession to be able to say this is going to work out perfectly… It's been super easy for us to not only collaborate on working with a new guitar player, but also with being able to write new music and being able to practice and get things up to speed for everything that's happening so quickly.' In fact, the band went from practicing online with their new guitarist on Lutefish straight into a live show in Las Vegas. They had never once had a face-to-face practice session. 'It was seamless,' adds McCosar. Check out the band's full online jamming experience on the Lutefish blog. Where Remote Rehearsals Meet Real Connections In addition to real-time collaboration, the Lutefish platform (sign up is free) connects users to a music community where they can meet like-minded musicians, find people to jam with, and even find new band members. Musicians and artists can also find gigs in their area and promote projects and shows. There are other musician-focused social platforms, but the difference is Lutefish users can start playing together right away, provided they've purchased the hardware. The platform allows people to share their music with the community, discover and play with strangers who have similar musical abilities, form a new band, or simply jam with new and old friends who live far away. Lutefish's technology also eliminates the time-suck of packing up and moving musical equipment and setup for band practice in yet another physical location. That's a lot of benefits. The platform also has a great track record with frequent updates and new features. The following features are all slated to arrive within the year: Stem Recording (aka multi-tracking) allows groups to record their individual audio streams separately, enabling more capacity for post-processing sessions. Live Streaming, musicians can livestream their performance to an audience. In-platform audio and video performance recording allows musicians to record audio and video from a performance, then adjust the start and end time of the media – all within Lutefish. Here's Why This Hardware Wins Lutefish's plug-n-play platform outperforms streaming platforms released in the past that relied on Wi-Fi and additional computer software to connect with remote players. If chat rooms are to be trusted, especially on Reddit, these other platforms exhibit a lot of issues with reliability, loss of live audio quality, time delays, and lack the ability to record with clarity and edit effectively. Lutefish's hardware, the Lutefish Stream, connects directly to your router using an Ethernet cable to deliver ultra-low latency and clear audio through high-quality preamps as if you're standing 30 feet away from other players. If you want to get really technical, that means devices can stream 48k audio with less than 30 milliseconds of latency. This helps reduce connectivity issues and lag times, allowing musicians to rehearse and record together via the Internet while being in sync. Having dedicated hardware is a big part of what sets Lutefish apart, as it provides the platform with key technical benefits: The operating system is optimized solely for real-time audio processing Third-party products and software like audio interfaces DAWs are not needed. Audio paths are tightly managed to prevent unpredictable slowdowns. These technical advantages are really what make Lutefish feel more like an in-person playing experience. Based in Minnesota, not Silicon Valley, Lutefish says it was founded 'by musicians for musicians' who created the technology to enable players of all abilities to share in the joy of making music together. And if you're looking for Minnesota's music cred, the star of the north state lays claim to Lizzo, Prince, Bob Dylan, The Replacements, and Babes in Toyland, just to name a few. Lutefish founders explain, 'We built Lutefish as a dedicated hardware unit to eliminate as many sources of latency and variability as possible, while providing an easy plug-and-play platform.' Skip the Tech Headaches—Here's How It Works 1. Purchase the Lutefish unit ($299 USD). 2. Activate your subscription ($12.99 USD/month, including 2 free months). 3. Plug in your gear and start jamming instantly. Once you have the hardware, simply plug it into power, connect it to your router via Ethernet, and then plug in your instrument and mic. Connect to the Internet through the Ethernet cable and fire up the app to connect face-to-face with five other performers in five different locations. Lutefish offers all the positives for a remote band experience in one product. Once you and your bandmates are on Lutefish, you won't need to leave your house or studio to make and play quality music. Unless, of course, you get signed to a major tour. Then rock on! To see our running list of the top 100 greatest rock stars of all time, click here.
