We put our 'healthy' dogs to sleep - here's why
On that sunny summer's day in 2024, it would be the final attack the couple would endure.
The vet had warned them that this time would come. 'How bad does it have to get?' he implored.
Mr Pickles had been bought as a puppy from a breeder by Tom and Zay three years earlier, during one of the lockdown waves of the pandemic in 2021.
'We'd named him Mr Pickles because we thought it would make people laugh,' Tom tells Metro over Zoom from the couple's home in south London. They were 'dog people', he adds, gesturing at the picture wall behind him and Zay, featuring art prints of various dogs. 'But now we're wary.'
The first 'incident' came when Mr Pickles was just five months old in July 2021. 'He became so obsessed with a crisp packet when we were out on a walk. I was worried he'd suffocate,' explains Zay. She tried to prise it away from him by offering treats, but he bit her.
Her injuries were so bad that she had to go to the hospital to get them seen and have a tetanus shot. At first, the couple were sure it was a one-off – but then Mr Pickles attacked again, and many more times. It got to the point where he had to wear a muzzle. It was even worn at home, as it was the only way they could spend time together.
In a bid to curb their pet's aggression, Zay and Tom took Mr Pickles to several behaviourists and, on their vet's instruction, fed the dog a cocktail of drugs to calm him – but nothing worked.
Most of the time, it was Zay who was on the receiving end. 'Around 80% of the time it was me,' she remembers. It was often around food, but standing too close or making a minor movement could also send Mr Pickles into overdrive.'
The incident with Mr Pickles and all that blood in June 2024 was the end of the road for the couple. Zay had been walking the dog on a grassy patch in front of their home when she noticed there was some dirt – possibly faeces – on some of his face. When Zay tried to clean Mr Pickles up, he attacked her – it was prolonged and violent. 'I'd shove him away, but he'd just charge back at me,' she remembers.
According to a survey by welfare charity People's Dispensary for Sick Animals (PDSA), 60% of vets noted a rise in dog behaviour problems in 2024.
Meanwhile, research from the Royal Veterinary College (RVC) showed that many owners who got a puppy during the Covid lockdown struggled with their dogs' behaviour by the time their pet reached 21 months. According to another 2021 RVC study, 26,676 (91.5%) dogs who died in one year did so via euthanasia. 'Undesirable behaviour' (encompassing a range of behaviours considered 'unwelcome', such as severe aggression) was one of the main reasons.
Dr Rowena Packer, a lecturer in companion animal behaviour at the RVC explains that one of the most common reasons for euthanasia now is 'aggression' rather than old age or illness. She adds that dogs under three years of age are at a proportionately high risk of death due to 'undesirable behaviours', and males are more likely than females to die in this way.
'Most people don't anticipate that when they get their puppy, that in three years, they might put it to sleep because they're aggressive,' says Dr Packer. 'It's unthinkable for the average owner, but it's wildly common.'
Vet RVC researcher Dr Bree Merritt Vet Dr Bree Merritt has spent most of her career in animal shelters. 'Like the human world, the vet world is very focused on physical health. Emotional health is almost seen as separate, but it's just as critical,' she tells Metro.
Although she believes that the vast majority of dogs she's treated are just 'terrified', Dr Merritt cautions that these dogs can also be terrifying for the people caring for them. 'Sometimes the best option is to put these dogs to sleep,' she admits.
Looking back on Mr Pickles' life, Zay feels she may have missed some warning signs – his pinned back ears and tense body. But not every attack went that way. Some days, he would sit happily between the couple, then suddenly lunge. 'He was like Jekyll and Hyde,' she remembers.
The first time the word 'euthanasia' was uttered by a vet to Tom and Zay was when Mr Pickles was under a year old. '[The vet] made it about us. He was like, you guys don't seem like you're in a good place – this is clearly distressing for you. And he put it on the table: Mr Pickles would just have a nice sleep. He wouldn't know any better,' Tom remembers.
Then the vet said something that hit a chord with the couple. 'Having a pet should be a mutually beneficial relationship, and, at the moment, you're not benefiting.'
The sentiment stuck with them until the end of Mr Pickles' short life.
'We talked about it progressively. We couldn't do it for the rest of his life,' remembers Zay. 'I'd have absolute adrenaline fear running through my body on a daily basis.'
Describing one of Mr Pickles' growls, she remembers: 'It was so menacing – it's when he flicked, in those moments, he wasn't our loving dog.'
Briony and her husband Harry adopted their rescue puppy in September 2019. 'He was already called Neo and we kept the name because it suited him,' she tells Metro.
At first, the pup slotted into their lives perfectly. Briony had loved Neo, who they later found was a mix of 22 breeds, from the moment she set eyes on him when he was four months old. He was a happy boy who loved his walks and she even documented their journey on Instagram.
But slowly, the dog became wary of people coming to the house and barked at men on walks. When Neo turned two, things escalated. He would lunge and bark at Harry when he tried to go near Briony, or nip at his legs when he got out of bed during the night.
Neo had even sunk his teeth into a woman riding her bike in the park. The couple did everything they could for him – sectioned off their home to make it safe for Neo, kept him in a crate at night and gave him a muzzle for walks.
But every time they got over one problem, they were hit with another. 'We even worked with a trainer who refused to take our money, because I'd been doing everything they would,' remembers Briony. 'It got to a point where Neo ruled our entire life. We put his comfort before our own.'
Briony knew things needed to change when she discovered she was pregnant, and the couple spent nine months getting Neo ready for it. He had safe spaces just for him and Briony even walked around with a doll, so the dog could get used to another little creature sharing his home.
When the baby was born, they made the introductions very slowly, as advised, and were hopeful. 'But then Neo tried to attack our baby,' recalls Briony.
The couple weighed up the idea of rehoming Neo, discussing it in depth with canine professionals and the rescue centre they'd adopted him from. But Neo was looking for a 'unicorn' home; one so vanishingly rare that it's unlikely to exist – he'd have needed somewhere in the middle of nowhere with a woman who had absolutely no visitors.
The couple reasoned it would also be unethical to keep him in kennels while he waited, as his behaviour would deteriorate even more, and they didn't want another family to go through what they'd experienced.
When it comes to the reasoning behind an aggressive dog's behaviour, it often focuses on genetics or breed. Notoriously, the XL bully has been banned, but Dr Packer explains that it is actually 'multifaceted'. A dog can be affected by their history, their trauma and how they're treated by people.
'We'll often hear, for example, that dogs have bitten 'out of the blue' and, biologically, that's unlikely, because they will display a spectrum of subtle behaviours [such as lip licking, yawning, turning their heads or tucking their tail] to show their discomfort in situations that could precipitate a bite before they actually bite,' she explains.
'Dogs learn from every interaction, including negative ones. If one has, for example, shown aggression in a context – they might have snarled, shown their teeth, growled – and a person or dog moved away, they've learned that's an effective strategy, so they're more likely to use it, then potentially escalate if it's ignored. Learning early signs of stress in dogs before they escalate to later stages – like a bite – is key.'
The dog training world is unregulated, so finding the right kind of trainer can be difficult, says Jade Nicholas, a clinical animal behaviourist and dog trainer. She explains there's a massive divide in approaches – hers is science backed and reward based (no punishment or pain); whereas another school of thought uses 'aversive' techniques – such as prong collars, which have metal prongs that apply pressure to a dog's neck and shock collars, often marketed online as 'anti-bark' tools that provide 'mild electrical stimulation.'
But these products cause pain and, according to Jade, are not 'ethical'.
Dr Packer adds that owners who got dogs during the pandemic tend to lean towards 'aversive techniques' thanks to social media. 'But these techniques don't resolve issues, they make them worse,' she explains.
When given the choice of prong collars or death, Jade is certain. She'd rather a dog went to sleep peacefully in their owner's arms, than have them spend the rest of their life with their behaviour brutally suppressed and their needs ignored.
Despite everything, Tom and Zay loved Mr Pickles and Briony and her husband adored Neo. 'There were little pockets of moments where we had a normal dog,' remembers Zay. Both couples revelled in those joyous moments. 'When Neo cuddled me, it made me feel like he'd chosen me,' adds Briony.
Before they died, Mr Pickles and Neo were given beautiful final moments.
Zay and Tom took their dog on a beach holiday. 'It was June, and it was miserable grey weather, so there was no other soul in sight,' says Tom. 'It was just us three and we got to walk for hours uninterrupted and have a beautiful few days to say goodbye.'
Briony and Harry booked a secure field for Neo so he could run around without a muzzle or lead. 'He loved squirty cream, so I brought a can with us and I didn't have to worry about how much I gave him,' says Briony. 'We cried an awful lot and I remember saying to Harry 'Why can't it always be like this?'' More Trending
Neo's ashes are now in an urn in their home. 'I like him being there,' says Briony. Two days after Neo went to sleep, she and Harry were on the sofa – 'it was the first time we'd sat together for months' – their baby in a bouncer by their feet, and Briony began to sob. 'What's wrong?' her husband asked. 'We're safe,' replied Briony.
'It was such a bizarre feeling to feel safe in my home, and that shouldn't be a bizarre feeling,' she remembers.
Briony always called Neo 'reactive', 'difficult' or 'challenging', but since his death, she's realised the right word is 'dangerous'.
'He doesn't fit that stereotype, he's not an XL Bully – he doesn't match what you expect a dangerous dog to look like,' she explains. 'But at least I know he's finally at peace.'
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