My Wedding Day with Andrea Mara: We did the Dirty Dancing lift — it could have gone so wrong

Irish Examiner

22-07-2025

We got married on October 14, 2004 in Foxrock in Dublin, close to where I grew up. Then, we went on to Cabra Castle, in Cavan, for the reception. We wanted somewhere that made us go 'wow' when we saw it and Cabra Castle did that — and it was close enough to Dublin if people wanted to go home after the
celebrations.
We knew, when we booked the date, that it was, you know, it was October, so we weren't gambling on the weather. I remember waking up that morning — I had stayed in my dad's house the night before — and looking out the window and seeing rain and thinking, 'OK, well, actually, that's good, because now I know', and it was genuinely a feeling of contentment. There was no more wondering about what the weather was going to be like — it was raining and I could just get on with my day.
Andrea Mara: "We knew when we booked the date that it was, you know, it was October, so we weren't gambling on the weather."
So, my dad went off rounding up golf umbrellas from everywhere he could. And it was funny, because there was an option at the church that you could rent a red carpet for the aisle. At the time we booked, though, we wanted to put money in to things like the food, the wine, and the band... things that made it a great party, and not spending on things we didn't need, like hiring a red carpet for €50. Then, when we saw the rain, we thought, 'Actually, the red carpet is starting to look like a good idea'. Who wants to see a bride slipping as she walks up the aisle?
This is going to sound funny, but there's a dress that Madonna wore in a movie she did years ago, called Who's That Girl? It's a bandage-style dress and I always really liked it. So, obviously, this was just something in my head and it didn't exist in a shop, so I had to find someone to make it for me. I found this wedding-dress maker, who was brilliant. She totally got what I wanted. Look, I did not look like Madonna, and didn't try to look like Madonna, but I loved it so much.
There's a photo of me taking Rescue Remedy on the morning of the wedding, and, looking back, I don't know if I took it just for the photo or if I really had a need for Rescue Remedy. I just remember it being fun.
I didn't want to arrive in the church too early and have the church half empty, and, also, I didn't want to leave everybody sitting there for ages, waiting for me, so I said to Damien that I'd text him and he could let me know if there were a reasonable number of people in the church and I would head on up. So, that's what I did — I messaged my husband just after 1pm. There was no reply, no reply, no reply. And I was fit to kill him, because I didn't know whether or not to go up to the church. But being the good groom he was, he had turned off his phone. In the end, I think after about 20 minutes, we just went up to the church. So, I ended up being a late bride for, really, a very silly reason.
The whole day went very smoothly. My dad gave a gorgeous, gorgeous speech. You see, my mom had died eight years before, and I'm the eldest, so this was the first wedding of our family. So, it was emotional, in that sense, as it was the first big family event without her. But my dad gave a really gorgeous speech and talked about my mom, as well, and it was a really nice way to include her.
After the formalities, we had the band and they were absolutely brilliant. The whole dance floor was full. And then, we were just telling the kids this the other day, because the song came on a Spotify playlist that we were listening to, but the band played the Dirty Dancing song Time of My Life. And the bit where Patrick Swayze lifts Jennifer Gray — we did the lift! We didn't plan it or anything. I think I got carried away on the emotion of the day and I had had a glass of wine. I just ran up to Damien and he picked me up, and he didn't drop me. It could have gone really wrong, but it didn't.
Andrea Mara with her latest novel, It Should Have Been You. Picture: Gareth Chaney
After the band and the DJ, we all went back to the residents' bar. Some of Damien's friends, they'd all been in bands over the years, and so they had brought guitars with them. There was a really good sing-song in the bar until about five in the morning. The day ended up being everything we'd hoped for: Good food, good wine, and good music, and getting people out on the dance floor. So often you plan and plan things and they don't work out the way you thought they would, but this was exactly what we wanted and we were so lucky.
Andrea Mara's latest novel,
'It Should Have Been You ', is available now in bookstores nationwide.