Can AI Help Queer Folks Navigate the Coming-Out Journey? I Explored How
Instead, I resorted to buying DVDs of The L Word and hid them under my bed. Desperate times call for desperate measures. It was a time before streaming and iPhones. (I promise I'm not as old as I sound right now.)
The most extensive my "research" got was those old "am I gay?" magazine questionnaires, which now feel archaic. But it was there that I learned sexuality exists on a spectrum and it's not black and white. For a laugh, I took a queer quiz again just now -- I'm already out and married to a woman -- and it was fun to see my results. I'm closer to bisexual than gay, which is why "queer" feels right for me.
Anyway, I digress.
Baby queers are now turning to AI tools to chat about their sexual orientation, much like how it's being used as a therapist and thought partner. Keep in mind, when it comes to matters of the head and heart, don't outsource it to AI. Chatbots aren't a replacement for a trained professional or supportive BFF.
But AI does provide a more dynamic way to chat through your potential orientation versus a Google search? It can be a tool for people contemplating coming out. I tried using ChatGPT for this purpose, to see if it could truly be helpful.
Just be wary with what you ask or tell AI chatbots. Deleting your ChatGPT history might not be as easy as it seems. Never give an AI tool information that could be personally identifiable or private, especially when there's a potential for misuse of personal data -- not only with how AI companies could use your data for training, but also because data breaches are on the rise.
(Disclosure: Ziff Davis, CNET's parent company, in April filed a lawsuit against OpenAI, alleging it infringed Ziff Davis copyrights in training and operating its AI systems.)
Prompt your way to pride
As someone who identifies as queer, I can say there are a few use cases for AI in the coming out journey. It can be used to help unpack confusing feelings, decide on the best way to identify (queer, LGBTQ+, etc.), find supportive resources and even come up with talking points to bring up with loved ones.
I wanted to see if AI could reimagine the queer quiz to make it more interactive and insightful. Here's what I asked ChatGPT: "Recreate the 'am I gay?' quizzes that many queer-curious people used to take when they were first trying to figure out their sexual identity. I'd like to take this quiz now."
It told me it's a "rite of passage" exercise for people questioning their sexuality, then created a "modernized" version of the quiz.
ChatGPT/Screenshot by CNET
It was presented a bit clunkily, so I asked ChatGPT to allow me to select a button rather than reply Yes, No, Unsure. And it did it!
ChatGPT/Screenshot by CNET
Not so fast. When I tried to select my answer, it didn't work. Only then did ChatGPT tell me it couldn't add clickable or interactive checkboxes.
"I wish I could offer real buttons or toggles, but those aren't supported here," ChatGPT told me.
I went back to the initial quiz and just added my answers manually, one at a time.
The questions weren't phrased the best. For example, this question warranted more than Yes, No or Unsure. I said Yes but it didn't know which gender I was referring to.
ChatGPT/Screenshot by CNET
While it asked me about my feelings toward the same gender, it didn't prod me about the opposite gender, so it was a bit leading. It also hedged on labeling me or giving me anything substantial, unlike the good old-fashioned queer quiz.
ChatGPT/Screenshot by CNET
If I'm asking if I could be gay, there's a 100% chance I'm not strictly straight. Give it to me straight! Or gay!
Queer quiz: 1
ChatGPT: 0
AI for coming-out conversation planning
Where AI could be more helpful is scenario or conversation planning. I could input a specific situation I'm facing or get "advice" on how to broach the subject with traditional-minded family members.
I could ask what parents struggle with the most about discovering their kids are queer. The questions people ask ChatGPT will depend on individual circumstances. Take my parents, for example. They're older, closed off and were raised religious. However, they're kind-hearted and want what's best for me.
I told this to ChatGPT, gave it more context about my situation and asked how I should tell them.
It told me to first think about why I want to come out -- to feel more honest? So they can meet my partner? So I can build a more authentic connection with them? -- and to decide whether I would come out in person, over the phone, on a video call or in writing.
Then it gave me some scripts:
ChatGPT/Screenshot by CNET
It gave some more good advice, specifically about coming out not being a one-time thing but more of a continuing process. I'll always need to "come out" whenever I meet someone new. Even today, I get asked what my husband does, because I'm feminine and don't "look" queer. ChatGPT also told me to have support ready for after I made the announcement to my parents.
Because I've been through this already, I know how my parents responded. My mum said, "so you don't like guys anymore?" I asked ChatGPT how I should answer that. It helped me unpack her response and gave some affirming statements.
It gave me some options on how to respond according to whether I wanted to "gently clarify," "educate a little," "emphasize emotion over identity" or "set a boundary without explaining."
Feed your coming-out concerns into ChatGPT
You could feed specific responses, questions or concerns into ChatGPT as you're navigating the coming-out process. For example, if your biggest concern is not knowing if/how you'll have kids or how you'll identify in a work setting, you can theme your prompts around these problems.
Another (albeit lighter) way to use ChatGPT is to discover movies, books, YouTubers and local resources. Seeing yourself reflected in art is a powerful part of self-discovery.
Some questions you could ask include:
What are the most beautiful queer movies and books?
What are some of the best female LGBTQ+ YouTubers?
I'm in NYC -- what are some local queer organizations, events, bars and attractions?
Better still, tell ChatGPT the art that moved you the most, and ask for similar movies and books.
ChatGPT told me I have "beautiful, emotionally intense taste." (It already knew that about me, though.)
It gave me this list of books:
ChatGPT/Screenshot by CNET
The verdict: Gay or nay?
I liked being able to chat through specific questions, problems and information with AI. While it's no replacement for sitting down with a friend or going to your first queer bar -- or even asking a question on Reddit, where real people can answer you and provide insight -- it's a handy tool to have to feel less alone. Just remember not to give it any personal or private information about yourself.
Try Our AI Features
Explore what Daily8 AI can do for you:
Comments
No comments yet...
Related Articles
New York Post
26 minutes ago
- New York Post
Meta's $250M whiz kid's last AI product ‘sucks at Google Chrome, flopped with Numbers': users
Meta's newest whiz kid has bagged himself a mighty $250 million pay packet, but users of the 24-year-old researcher's last AI offering have labelled it 'clunky' and complained it 'sucks at Google Chrome.' Matt Deitke's last tech tool, Vy is said to handle repetitive tasks 'with high accuracy' and without interrupting users while they browse. The product learns by observing user behavior and executes commands directly on the user's computer. 3 Meta's newest whiz kid, Matt Deitke, bagged himself a mighty $250 million pay packet, but some users of the 24-year-old researcher's last tech product called Vy have complained about its functionality. X / @Scobleizer But some Vy users like Julian Goldie, a search engine optimization expert, said its performance varies depending on the application and others claim the agent's performance hasn't lived up to the buzz 'It sucks at Google Chrome, flopped with Numbers, but it's magic with ChatGPT, Pages and Descript,' Goldie posted on X. Goldie likened Vy to Apple's iPhone during its early development. 'It's like the early iPhone moment for AI agents,' he wrote. He also acknowledged Vy's potential for managing workflow. 'It's like having an intern — except it doesn't ghost you, doesn't get tired and knows how to use your apps better than you do.' Deitke, who ditched his computer science doctoral program at the University of Washington to join Meta, recently turned his nose up at CEO Zuckerberg's 'low-ball' offer of around $125 million over four years, according to the New York Times. 3 Vy is able to observe the user's behavior and repeat commands on one's computer, with great accuracy. But when the Facebook founder had a meeting with him and doubled the offer, he accepted what could be one of the largest pay packets in corporate history, the Times said. Zuckerberg's protegee appears to have jumped ship from his startup, Vercept, which he founded with friends in November. Vercept raised $16 million in funding from venture capital and tech investors to push out Vy, but some users say they're struggling to find practical uses for the tool. One Reddit user, @u/fontainegal66 complained it was clunky. 'Been using it this past week, I've tried a bunch of stuff, some tasks it handles well, others still feel a bit clunky.' 3 One Vy user, Julian Goldie, took to X and said, 'It sucks at Google Chrome, flopped with Numbers, but it's magic with ChatGPT, Pages and Descript.' X / @mattdeitke 'I tried organizing a folder. It takes a lot of time. Takes screenshots, understands and then slowly does it. Maybe jobs like manual scraping it might do. I need to try,' user Glittering-AD-8200 wrote on Reddit. 'I'm really struggling to find a way to make it useful. It's technically impressive, but I … don't know how to get it doing useful things,' user @TonyTrewinnard also posted on X. Some users also noted technical glitches on Vercept's website, including issues signing up for the Vy waitlist. 'Your site won't let us join the waitlist. It keeps saying Mac only. Why does it think I don't have a Mac? You shouldn't make it so hard to follow you,' the @TechGuys account replied to an X video introducing Vy in May. Deitke, who until recently was offering Vy for free, acknowledged before now that the company was still in its early stages. 'We're still very new and very young,' Deitke said in a recent interview with tech blogger Robert Scoble. 'Making it an amazing experience is our number one priority right now.' Deitke did not immediately respond to a message seeking comment. Zuckerberg told investors on the company's Wednesday earnings call Meta is 'building an elite, talent-dense team. 'If you're going to be spending hundreds of billions of dollars on compute and building out multiple gigawatt of clusters, then it really does make sense to compete super hard and do whatever it takes to get that, you know, 50 or 70 or whatever it is, top researchers to build your team,' he said. 'There's just an absolute premium for the best and most talented people.'
Yahoo
an hour ago
- Yahoo
Income Stocks Spotlight: What Makes Cisco Systems (CSCO) Stand Out
Cisco Systems, Inc. (NASDAQ:CSCO) is included among the 11 Best Income Stocks to Buy According to Hedge Funds. A young professional in a suit examining stocks on a tablet computer in a mid-town office building. Cisco Systems, Inc. (NASDAQ:CSCO) is a leading technology company known for its networking, security, software, and cloud computing solutions. It builds routers and switches that help transmit data across networks. In the third quarter of fiscal 2025, the company reported $14.1 billion in revenue, marking an 11% increase from the previous year. Earnings per share also rose 35% to $0.62. Artificial intelligence has become a key growth area for Cisco Systems, Inc. (NASDAQ:CSCO), generating over $1 billion in AI-related revenue in 2024. The company aims to at least double that figure in 2025. Its recent $28 billion acquisition of Splunk has also played a major role in expanding its capabilities, particularly in network management, security, and AI integration. Cisco Systems, Inc. (NASDAQ:CSCO) currently pays a quarterly dividend of $0.41 per share and has a dividend yield of 2.41%, as of July 31. The company has been rewarding its shareholders with growing dividends for the past 18 years, which makes it one of the best dividend stocks for income investors. While we acknowledge the potential of CSCO as an investment, we believe certain AI stocks offer greater upside potential and carry less downside risk. If you're looking for an extremely undervalued AI stock that also stands to benefit significantly from Trump-era tariffs and the onshoring trend, see our free report on the best short-term AI stock. READ NEXT: and Disclosure: None. Error in retrieving data Sign in to access your portfolio Error in retrieving data Error in retrieving data Error in retrieving data Error in retrieving data
Yahoo
an hour ago
- Yahoo
A new MMO in development at Elder Scrolls Online studio ZeniMax has been cancelled as Microsoft puts thousands more people out of work
When you buy through links on our articles, Future and its syndication partners may earn a commission. Microsoft's latest round of layoffs has seemingly resulted in the cancellation of a new MMO that was in the works at Elder Scrolls Online developer ZeniMax Online Studios. The cancellation of the game, codenamed Blackbird, was first reported by Jason Schreier of Bloomberg, who said on Bluesky that the unannounced MMO—an entirely original project—had been in development since 2018. There's been no official announcement at this point, but multiple ZeniMax employees have indicated on LinkedIn that the report is accurate. Lead engineer Aaron Barnett, whose profile indicates he's "open to work," posted a message quoting and linking to Schreier's message, while senior character artist Eric Hall, who has also apparently been laid off, wrote separately, "Looks like the project I've been working on for the past 5+ years has been cancelled." Senior producer Chris Linn also wrote that "our amazing MMO project was just cancelled," and he is out of job. Principal economy designer John Hartzell hinted at disarray in the layoff process in his own confirmation of the layoffs: "My Slack [corporate chat account] was deactivated as I write this so I assume my time here is over as well." It's not yet known how many people at ZeniMax and other Microsoft-owned studios are being put out of work, but game director Ben Jones indicated that the unannounced MMO's entire development team has been let go. Massively Overpowered reported in 2022 that the development team on the game had grown to 200 people, and ZeniMax was continuing to recruit after that—in fact the studio's website still links to a "kickass new projects" page that encourages people to "join us and make your mark on an incredible new project." Microsoft announced the layoff of approximately 9,000 employees earlier today, many of whom worked in the company's gaming division. Xbox boss Phil Spencer said in a memo to employees that the cuts "come at a time when we have more players, games, and gaming hours than ever before," and the Xbox "platform, hardware, and game roadmap have never looked stronger," which is an absolutely miserable thing to say when you're putting literally thousands of people out of work and something I hope we all remember the next time we're tempted to get excited about his latest t-shirt or well-stocked shelf. Microsoft reported a net income of $88.1 billion in 2024, a 22% increase over the $72.3 billion profit it recorded in 2023, in case you're curious about these things. Rare's Everwild project, first announced in 2019, has also reportedly been cancelled as a result of the Microsoft layoffs. I've reached out to ZeniMax for comment and will update if I receive a reply.
