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Yahoo
24 minutes ago
- Yahoo
I'm single by choice at 42. For some women, prioritizing yourself can be 'beautiful, joyful and full' without a partner
I'm 42 — and have been single for most of my life. I've always loved travelling solo, diving into hobbies and genuinely enjoying my own company. But for a long time, that fact felt more shameful than empowering. I wondered if it meant I had somehow fallen behind in life, or worse, that something was wrong with me for choosing a life on my own. But that shame has shifted. Now, more than ever, women in their 40s and beyond are embracing singlehood — not as a default or failure, but as a conscious, fulfilling choice. In fact, according to Statistics Canada, the number of people aged 35 to 44 living alone has doubled from just five per cent in 1981 to 10 per cent in 2021. While the divorce rate continues to hover around 40 per cent, what's also rising is the number of women who have never been married. Back in 1981, only 10.5 per cent of women aged 30 to 34 and 6.3 per cent of women aged 55 to 59 had never tied the knot. By 2011, those numbers had grown significantly, reaching 43.4 per cent and 11.2 per cent, respectively. Singlehood, it turns out, isn't about lacking love — it can be about choosing yourself. As Arlene Dickinson, host of Arlene is Alone, puts it: 'I haven't chosen to be single as a rejection of love. I've chosen it as an act of self-respect and discovery. ... This stage of my life is about something else. It's about choosing myself. It's about recognizing that I don't need to be defined by partnership to live fully and feel deeply. Single, to me, means sovereign. It means whole. It means living with clarity and conviction about who I am and how I want to move through the world.' So, what's behind this shift? According to psychiatrist and couples therapist Dr. Kathryn Ford, several cultural and personal factors are at play for those over 50: 'Many things have changed that contribute to this. Among them are women's increasing financial independence, the increased acceptability of divorce and both genders thinking more about what they want in the second half of life, especially after the kids leave.' Ford notes that for many people over 50, embracing singlehood isn't necessarily about opting out of love — it's about moving toward something healthier. 'No one really 'considers singledom' at age 50 and beyond separate from the decision to end a relationship,' she says. 'Rather, they open themselves to singledom as a better way forward. They may be hiding from or avoiding doing the hard work of building and/or repairing a relationship. This includes having the courage and humility to look at themselves and the learning they need to do.' For some women, that path toward singlehood becomes less about what they're leaving behind and more about what they're gaining. It's a message echoed by 'Thrive Solo' podcast host Lucy Meggeson. 'Like most other women, I assumed I'd end up getting married and having kids. But the truth is that over the last seven years of being single, it's dawned on me more and more that I prefer both myself and my life when I'm single,' the author notes. 'I seem to be a better version of me when I'm alone, more focused on my own achievements and far more interested in actively following my dreams.' For Meggeson, there's independence, peace and an opportunity for both personal growth and development that comes with remaining single: 'There are just so many underrated benefits that never get acknowledged or celebrated, but they absolutely should.' When it comes to what she enjoys most about being single at this stage in life, Dickinson's thoughts are similar. 'There's a freedom in it that's hard to explain unless you've lived it,' she says. 'A freedom to think, to create, to stretch into new spaces without shrinking yourself. For years, I prioritized partnership, family, caregiving — all of which I'm proud of. But now, I get to prioritize myself. ... There's a power in discovering that your life can be beautiful, joyful and full without needing someone else to complete the picture.' That's not to say singlehood is without its challenges, especially when it comes to being alone. But Ford emphasizes that this phase of life can offer profound rewards: 'Embrace being single as a time with very different opportunities than you have when in a couple.' She encourages taking the necessary time to heal and reflect after a major relationship ends, and allowing what comes next to unfold naturally. 'When loneliness is painful, know that it, like everything, is a passing phenomenon,' Ford says. 'Comfort yourself and also remember to stay connected to friends.' She also reminds people that while others may be curious about your relationship status, 'you don't have to become someone's project. Share what you want to, and protect what you don't.' Dickinson adds that when those feelings of loneliness creep up, they are not something to fear. In fact, it can be an enriching time of self-discovery: 'Loneliness is a hunger for connection. Being alone is a state of independence. I've felt much lonelier in some relationships I've been in than I ever have in solitude. Being alone, when you choose it and own it, can be a source of deep clarity. It creates space for your own voice to rise. And for women especially, whose lives are often built around others, that can be transformational.' For Meggeson, being single in midlife has led to a new fulfilling life and career helping other women embrace their own single status. 'What I love most about being single now is that I truly know who I am, and I finally understand that happiness was never about a partner or a baby, it was always about me,' she says. 'If I'm single forever, I know I'll still be happy, because I've learned how to cultivate joy from within.' Her advice? Look inward and work on your personal views toward being single. 'Life is life. Whether you're single or married, neither path shields you from joy or sorrow. It's not about relationship status. It's about what's going on between your ears.' And for those who might judge, Meggeson advises owning your story with confidence: 'If we shrink down and apologize for being single, we perpetuate the idea that it means being 'less than.' But if we take responsibility for building a fabulous life, people will think twice about their judgments. So when someone asks, 'Why are you still single?' try responding with, 'Did you know that single, childless women are the happiest demographic in society?' That usually shuts them up.'
Yahoo
2 hours ago
- Yahoo
Nearly 2,000 households in need of new home as Quebec's moving day nears
With Quebec's moving day fast approaching, more than 2,000 households across the province are still searching for housing — 320 more than at the same time last year, according to the province's housing corporation. Advocacy groups say they are bracing for more emergency calls. "There's been a lot more evictions, cases of repossessions," said Lyn O'Donnell, with the Citizen Action Committee of Verdun. "People are not only dealing with eviction. They're also dealing with the fact that they've received rent increases that, you know, like your average person just can't afford." In Montreal alone, some 270 have asked for help, the Société d'habitation du Québec (SHQ) says. Advocates warn the number is misleading. "That's just what's reported, right? So there's so much invisible homelessness involved in that. That even includes families with children," O'Donnell said. The city says help is available by calling 311. "We have enough resources, enough budget to help you find a new dwelling," said Philippe Sabourin, City of Montreal spokesperson. "We can also offer temporary resources or a temporary dwelling. We also have some resources for the storage if it's required." Help is out there — but not enough Help is also available through the SHQ and some people may be eligible for a rent supplement. But housing advocates say these resources are far from enough. "Housing is scarce, first of all. And also the program is mostly for low-income households," O'Donnell said. "And you have to have lived on the island of Montreal for the past 12 months and you have to have used up all of your own resources." O'Donnell said all of these measures are only temporary. The real solution is making more social housing available through a dedicated social housing program and putting in place real rent control, she says. At the moment, Quebec's rental board does not cap rents, rather it issues recommended rent increases and intervenes only if the tenant refuses the increase and cannot negotiate the new rent with the landlord. Housing advocacy group Le Front d'action populaire en réaménagement urbain (FRAPRU) says the increasing number of households in search of a home is due to the scarcity of affordable housing in the province. The SHQ says that of the 1,989 households at risk of homelessness, 473 are already in temporary accommodations, such as with family, friends or in a hotel. WATCH | How to get help: The regions with the highest number of cases include Lanaudière (294), Montreal (269) and Montérégie (235). Véronique Laflamme, spokesperson for FRAPRU, said people are often hoping for a solution up until July 1, and then come forward looking for help soon after. She said some end up in their cars or camping. Assistance varies across province Although rehousing assistance is available throughout the province, the measures offered to tenants vary greatly from one region to another, said Laflamme. Not all municipalities offer the Quebec-backed rehousing assistance program like the one in Montreal, which provides temporary accommodations, moving and storage. The housing shortage is easing slightly across the province, with the housing vacancy rate at 1.8 per cent in 2024, up from 1.3 per cent in 2023, according to the Canada Mortgage and Housing Corporation (CMHC). But this improvement does not translate into greater affordability, Laflamme said. In Montreal last year, the vacancy rate for units under $1,150 was less than one per cent. This compares to more than five per cent for units priced at a minimum of $1,675, which likely includes many recently built rental apartments, according to CMHC data. New data from Statistics Canada, released Wednesday, also shows soaring prices for available housing. The asking rent for a two-bedroom apartment in Montreal was $1,930 in the first quarter of 2025 — a 70.8 per cent increase from 2019. In Montreal, the average rent increase was 18.7 per cent in 2024 for apartments that changed tenants, compared to 4.7 per cent for dwellings where a lease was renewed, according to the CMHC. Since 2018, rents have jumped 47 per cent for all apartments in the province, according to a compilation by FRAPRU based on data from the CMHC. To address this unaffordability, FRAPRU urges Quebec to double the number of social housing units in the rental stock within 15 years, which would involve the construction of at least 10,000 new social housing units per year. The government has adopted a national housing strategy and set a target of 56,000 rental units per year — but no target for social housing, laments Laflamme. Even for tenants who are not moving this year, the situation is far from ideal, as many are facing steep rent increases, said Laflamme. The average rent increase suggested by Quebec's housing tribunal was 5.9 per cent for 2025. "This year's lease renewal period has been extremely difficult," said Laflamme, citing a large number of callers looking for ways to mitigate rent increases.
Yahoo
7 hours ago
- Yahoo
Historic legion in downtown Calgary struggling with rising costs, declining membership
An upcoming emergency repair has put the historic No. 1 Branch of the Royal Canadian Legion in Calgary in a difficult financial spot, with a steep bill coming just as the hall contends with piling building costs. The branch, which sits on Seventh Avenue S.E. in central Calgary, faces a roughly $42,000 bill for an emergency roof repair that's scheduled to start on Monday, said legion branch president Philip MacAulay. While the province's heritage fund is kicking in a little more than $10,000, the legion is still on the hook to cover the rest of the cost. The branch's financial problems are complicated by needed repairs to its air-conditioning system that MacAulay said will cost another $15,000, as well as a leak four months ago that cost around $10,000 to fix. Further down the road lies a three-to-five-year project to renovate the rest of the roof after the emergency repairs, which MacAulay projects will cost the branch upwards of $270,000, not to mention all of the building's windows are original to the building and in need of replacement or updates, which will bring further costs to the building. The branch is looking to the community for support now to afford its maintenance and repair costs, and to try to keep the historic building's doors open. "It is a provincial and city historic site. It's been around for 103 years, there's a lot of history in it and I think it's worthwhile saving. We lose too much of our history," MacAulay said on The Calgary Eyeopener on Wednesday. The building is opening for breakfast and lunch each day of the Calgary Stampede to try and drum up business. But the building has been hit hard by declining membership and foot traffic for years now, the branch president building opened in 1922 as a memorial to honour people who served in the First World War. When construction began, the Prince of Wales at the time broke sod on the land, and in its history Queen Elizabeth II visited the building twice, MacAulay said, underlining the site's connection to the British royal family. The building was officially recognized as a provincial historic resource in 1983. When he worked at the legion hall 40 to 50 years ago, MacAulay remembers all three floors being busy from 10 a.m. until 2 a.m. the following morning. The building rarely sees that kind of activity now. "I realize, yes, some of it has to do with the economy and the city and all the rest, but all you can do is try," MacAulay said. "I would hate to see a historic building like this just go by the wayside." Allen Wright, the vice chair of hospitality with the Legion, is also a Calgary Stampede volunteer who often uses the hall to take a break during the event. He said he supports the legion because his father and uncle served in the military and wants to see the site remain open despite the difficult road it faces. "It's an actually fascinating building," Wright said. "Because of the cost of having to do renovations here … it's a struggle. The membership is getting older." Membership has largely been in decline since shortly before the COVID pandemic shut the hall down for an extended period, and it now sits at a little over 300 people, MacAulay said. He added the remaining members usually only visit on Fridays if they come out to the building at all. But MacAulay identifies the branch's biggest issue as the lack of businesses around it on Seventh Avenue. Hotels that used to sit near the hall like the York, St. Regis and Calgarian are all gone, leaving largely unused sites in their place. In the case of the York, MacAulay said they've heard talk of a new building going up in its place for more than a decade, with no progress the year, the No. 1 branch typically makes its income through a darts league it hosts from September to May, the Sled Island music festival in July, professional wrestling events roughly once a month, and any outside functions it can bring in like weddings, celebrations of life and events organized by CJSW, the University of Calgary's campus radio station. "We make money during the year, but we don't make the kind money that would [cover this]," MacAulay said. "Anything we can do to keep the place going, we try to do that." The problem isn't specific to the No. 1 branch, as legion branches across Canada have faced difficulty keeping the lights on due to inflation, maintenance costs and aging membership.
