Teens, screens, time pressure and other challenges to navigate on a family road trip

San Francisco Chronicle​

5 days ago

If you're going to be road-tripping with your family this summer, get ready to embrace unexpected moments of both connection and inevitable chaos.
I found both when I packed up the car with my husband and two kids — one of them a teenager — for the eight-hour drive from Boston to Niagara Falls. We had taken long road trips as a family in the past, but our kids, now 8 and 14, were older. My son, firmly in his 'closed-door, don't talk to me' phase, wasn't exactly thrilled about spending over 460 miles trapped in our smallish Nissan Rogue. We also live in a part of the country where we don't spend much time in cars in our everyday life.
How would we all manage the close quarters?
Here's some of what I learned — along with advice from the experts — about not only surviving a family road trip but having a good time:
First, why do it?
Many road-trip veterans cite the chance to bond and create family memories. Eighteen-year-old Samara Worsham, for example, spent 30 days crossing 25 states with her family in 2022. Now preparing to leave for college, she says she cherishes that time on the road.
'There were long stretches with no cellular data, leaving us nothing to do but talk,' she said.
Along with visiting U.S. landmarks, Worsham's fondest memories include hotel pool swims with her siblings, and her father's mission to sample every fast-food chain across the country.
There are practical advantages to the family car trip too.
'It's more economical than flying, especially with a big family,' says Jamie Davis Smith, a lawyer and writer from Washington, D.C., who takes a road trip every year with her husband and children. 'Plus, you don't have to rent a car at the destination.'
Get family input on the itinerary
Alain Robert, founder of The Travelologist, a Canadian travel agency, recommends including the whole family in planning.
'Ask what they'd like to see or do. Build around everyone's interests,' he advised. 'Once you have a backbone itinerary, share it and manage expectations.'
My family, in particular the kids, wanted to get there as soon as possible. They had their eyes on the destination, not the journey.
Include some cheesy stops — if you can take the time
Davis Smith said her family loves to discover quirky roadside attractions; on one trip, they had fun stopping at the Unclaimed Baggage Center in Scottsboro, Alabama — a store that sells lost airline luggage.
Inspired, I downloaded the Roadtrippers app and mapped out a few detour-worthy stops. Our shortlist included the Jell-O Museum in LeRoy, New York, as well as the Schuyler Mansion (of 'Hamilton' fame) in Albany, New York.
But best-laid plans... We quickly realized that an eight-hour haul didn't leave much wiggle room for exploration. Lesson learned: Keep daily driving to six hours or less if you want time to explore. We didn't have time for either of those two stops.
We briefly considered bringing Rosie, our 2-year-old Cavalier King Charles Spaniel, but the hotel we'd booked at Niagara wasn't dog-friendly. No friends were available to watch her, so at the last minute, we boarded her at our vet — a first for Rosie.
We hadn't expected she would need two new vaccines, and we had to squeeze in a vet appointment two days before departure. This meant a steep bill the morning we left, and boarding costs awaiting us when we returned.
Travel journalist Kelly Burch, who road-tripped around the U.S. for seven months with her husband, two kids and senior dog, warned that pet policies on the road can be unpredictable. One budget hotel near Yellowstone National Park wouldn't even allow their dog to stay in their RV on the property.
'Triple check pet policies,' she advised.
Teens...
Knowing my teenager would need space, I splurged on a junior suite. He got his own bed, slept late and had the space to recharge. The suite came with a small kitchen and a breathtaking view of Horseshoe Falls — well worth the extra cost for three nights.
If we'd stayed longer, I would have reconsidered the splurge. But since we saved money by not flying, the room felt like a worthwhile tradeoff.
... and screens
If your kids are on the younger side, divert them with family car games.
'If you start the screen early, it can be difficult to convince them to do anything else,' says freelance journalist Stratton Lawrence, 43, who has written for Travel & Leisure about his family road trips — without devices. He's driven with his young kids and wife from South Carolina to the Pacific Coast twice, including one three-month stretch on the road.
Even older kids, he says, will appreciate something like a deck of cards or a paper atlas to see the geography.
'If you're going to be in a car for 100-plus hours, the kids aren't going to be entertained watching TV that whole time, so you have to have other things,' he said.
Overall, I think my teenager thought the trip was OK. His friend happened to be visiting Niagara Falls with her family and staying in the same hotel where we stayed. That was a welcome surprise. He also seemed to like our daytime outings, especially the boat ride into the Horseshoe Falls, where we got drenched with water.