Bosses, stop trying to flatter your workers, says leadership expert—it doesn't make them like you

CNBC

5 hours ago

Some bosses think flattering their employees is a good leadership tactic. Those bosses are wrong, says Jennifer Schielke.
"Flattery is what I've seen from a lot of leaders," says Schielke, a leadership expert and CEO of Bellevue, Washington-based staffing and recruiting firm Summit Group Solutions. Bosses tend to throw excessive praise at their employees when they want everyone to like them, she says.
But insincere compliments can come across as manipulative, like you have an ulterior motive.
When someone is going above and beyond at work, they probably deserve some authentic praise and appreciation. But leaning on flattery too much points to "insecurity" and a lack of leadership skills, says Schielke. "I just don't see any benefit of it, truly."
You probably know when a boss is giving empty compliments. Say you realize you did a poor job executing a project, but your boss tells you they were really impressed with it. Or they constantly compliment your skills, to the point where it feels disingenuous.
"Leading doesn't have to be a popularity contest," says Schielke. "It's really investing in employees, being kind and addressing the hard stuff, too."
Most workers do tend to like a boss who's a "people person" — someone who enjoys having genuine interactions with others, and uses soft skills like empathy, compassion and communication to create an inviting workplace culture — according to workplace culture expert Tom Gimbel.
"The more authentic you are, the more people are going to connect with you and enjoy your company," Gimbel told CNBC Make It in April 2024.
Schielke likes to dedicate certain days of the week to a team-building exercise, she says, like "Tell Me About Yourself Tuesdays," where employees spend minutes, or sometimes hours, discussing subjects that are important to them. Her company also has "Wacky Wednesdays," where she assigns quirky topics to her employees, who then present a workshop, training module or a simple moment of comedic relief about them, she adds.
Instead of unduly flattering employees, you can make them feel valued at work simply by paying attention to their perspectives and needs, Schielke says. If your particular workplace craves hybrid work, employee resource groups or volunteer opportunities — simple policies that you have the power to grant — you'd do well to listen, she notes.
These efforts are "very, very meaningful and valuable" to employees, says Schielke, no matter the business.