People Share Major Generational Shifts In Parenting Trends
"A lot of boomers took note of their kids' weaknesses and put them in situations to correct them, whether that he clubs or sports or whatever. I feel as though today a kid's weakness is 'just who they are,' and what could be dealt with early and easily is turning into massive anxiety by their teenage years."
—Woodit
"My parents were young Boomers, both born in the very late 50s, and I was born in '83, and my biggest gripe with parents my age today is they seem to just be dragging the kids along for whatever adults-only event they want to go to. Children don't belong in breweries or wineries, and I'll die 1000x on that hill..."
"...Activities were very kid-focused in the '80s and '90s. Parks were free, whole restaurant chains existed solely for family-friendly dining (Ground Round, Ponderosa, Friendly's, etc.), and I was rarely dragged to adult events."—ImperatorRomanum83
"I don't have any children of my own, but I was over at a friend's house recently who has two little ones, and he and his wife are actively involved playing, reading, and interacting with their kids, and do so every day. It made me look back at my childhood, and I don't recall either one of my parents really playing with my brother or me when we were little..."
".... Sure, we had toys, but as a little kid and as an adolescent, we were pretty much on our own to entertain ourselves or with friends in the neighborhood. I didn't learn how to read until the first grade, and don't recall my mom ever reading to us each night before bed either. I'm 40 years old now, and really, when I look back at my parents, it's almost like I don't have this giant emotional attachment to them. They were great providers. Mom worked part-time later on in my life, but was more like a maid, cook, laundry housewife, and dad worked full-time. He would at least play catch or shoot pool with my brother and me. Any emotional issues were pretty much non-existent. I still shake my dad's hand today as a hug, it's seen as 'not manly' in his eyes. Consequently, neither my brother nor I speaks much to our parents. Saying 'love you' at the end of phone calls is still very odd. I never saw my parents even so much as hold hands or show much affection towards each other ever."—quell3245
"I won't be a helicopter parent in the way my own parents were. As a child who was sheltered, my parents would always intervene, and I became way too reliant on them. It wasn't until my mid-20s that someone helped me realize what was happening, and I had to relearn how to live on my own. Sure, my parents did what they thought was best, but it backfired on me later in life. I'm still in the process of figuring out what it means to be independent and how to fight for myself."
"I don't talk about my weight with my kids. My mom always called herself fat and made negative remarks about her body. She was definitely not fat, and still has an eating disorder. It definitely affected the way my sisters and I see ourselves. I do not have an eating disorder, but one of my sisters definitely does. When I brought it up to my parents, they saw nothing wrong with her behavior because that is how my mom always acted."
—Thasira
"My parents are silent generation. One thing I very intentionally have never done is answer 'why do I have to' with 'because I said so.' I hated this as a kid. I give my kids several reasons why, and if they can give a cogent argument otherwise, I listen and may come up with alternative solutions."
—DelightfulWitches
"The world of 'let kids be kids' is gone. If a child shows an interest in anything, then that is now that kid's be-all and end-all. Do you like hockey? You're on a travel team, year-round. When you're not on the soccer travel team. But, it's also possible that my (Gen X) generation's experiences that allowed us creativity and imagination were the inevitable result of neglect. 'Go outside and play! I don't want you back in this house until dinner' was NOT an uncommon thing for anyone my age to hear."
—MrValdemar
"I hit my kids once out of frustration. I saw her looking at me with frightened eyes, and told myself I would never use physical punishment ever again, and haven't. I don't know how my parents thought that beating was acceptable. Spanking or slapping was normal if a ruler or belt couldn't be found. I've tried to talk to them, and they just say 'it was acceptable at the time' and take no responsibility for their choices. I think that's what millennials do differently. We think and take responsibility for our choices."
—forge_anvil_smith
"We got so obsessed with the mistakes that boomer parents made that we're going too far in the other direction. One of my biggest issues is that millennial parents take zero accountability. There are countless studies about iPad kids and relying too much on screens, and yet you'll hear from countless parents making excuses like they're 'overwhelmed' and they help stop their kids 'disregardation.' And way too many have only one person in the room syndrome. Yes, you and your kid have every right to exist, but so does everyone else. And we can be really lacking in discipline. Previous generations might've been too hard, but we're way too soft."
—AwarenessEconomy8842
"My parents forced me into their interests and never allowed me to engage with my actual interests because they were 'stupid.' They wouldn't even take me to the library to check out books except for special occasions, like one or two times a year. My mom didn't work, and we literally drove by the library several times a week."
—randomly-what
"I feel like many of our parents simply didn't know what they were doing. Some were genuinely trying their best, others didn't even try. They just had children because everyone had children. Now, most people give it a thought at least. And many decide against it."
"I'm genX, grew up in the '70s and '80s, LOVED soccer, played it from age 8 to 18 and beyond… my mother came to one game, my father none. And this was true for all of my friends, too; the sidelines were always empty. I felt horrible when I missed one of my son's games when he was playing, and I just couldn't understand the boomer mindset. Truly the 'me' generation."
—WhisperToARiot
"My parents never gave me compliments. If I had great grades, nothing. If I did something kind/good/challenging, nothing. They'd only tell me what they didn't like or what I could change. So I want to do the opposite."
"I read an article once where a woman said, 'I didn't help my kids if it was something they could do on their own.' It kind of stuck with me. My parents weren't perfect, but they did this, too, and I became a more prepared adult because of it. So, I do the same with my daughter. If she falls, I let her pick herself back up. I only intervene if she isn't safe or truly stuck. Otherwise, she's good at problem-solving and figuring stuff out."
—Anonymous
"Parents today never let their children be bored. When my daughter complained about boredom, I gave her some chores. She learned to embrace boredom, which is not entirely a bad thing."
—Virginia, 79
"The media has scared today's parents to death. Even those of us who know reports of abductions are overblown feel pressured to hover over our kids because that has become the norm. When I was a kid, I wandered all over the neighborhood from an early age, and as soon as I learned to ride a bike, I wandered even farther. And I didn't have a cell phone I could use to check in. There were a couple of times when, due to a miscommunication, my parents didn't know where I was and worried about me. But they never stopped me from wandering, and all the other kids did it, too."
—wjbc
"For me, the biggest difference in mentality is that I'm helping my kids develop into the adults they are meant to be. I'm not here to control them so that they are like me. My kids are not copies of me. They will like different things. They will dislike different things."
—HillyjoKokoMo
"They had them so YOUNG too. I'm just now pregnant with my first at 38, and I can't imagine handling a small human just learning how to regulate its emotions when I was 20 and also learning how to regulate my emotions. Boomer family members warned against having kids later in life because you have less energy to keep up.... but honestly, I'd rather my kid has to deal with a mom that's occasionally dragging due to age, than a dysreflexed barely-not-a-child trying to raise them."
"Both my parents worked when I was young. I was encouraged to be outside, not to be out of their hair, but to develop interpersonal relationships and skills. Even in the winter, I had to stay inside due to extreme cold or bad weather, but I'd be able to have a couple of friends over. Other than that, I was outside with friends. My parents taught me the value of hard work by example and by taking me with them. Now I see my grandchildren sitting in the house, playing those stupid games and not playing with kids their own age, developing all the skills their father and I did growing up…. I find that not just my issue, but a societal problem as well…"
—Bob 68
"Our generation is better about involved parenting, especially fathers. My dad essentially was an inert, and so many other dads in his generation were the same. Dads now seem to be stepping up big time, so much so that certain culture warriors are whinging nastily about it."
—throwawayfromPA1701
"We are very gentle parents because the boomers were rough and sometimes even bullies. We don't want to be the first bullies in our children's lives. As a result, we are too soft and need to find balance. I can't watch my daughter cry."
—eneri008
Do you have something to add? As a parent, what is something you have decided to do the same or differently from the generation before you? Or, if you have grandkids, what is something different about the way your kids are raising kids of their own? Tell us in the comments or in this anonymous form.
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13 Ways Boomers Approach Conflict That Feel Passive-Aggressive
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There's a level of immediacy and intimacy in phone calls that texts simply can't replicate. Boomers grew up in a time when picking up the phone was the only way to communicate over long distances. This habit has stuck with them for good reason—it's effective. You can resolve misunderstandings faster and have more engaging conversations when you hear each other's voices. Plus, who doesn't love hearing a loved one's voice instead of a beep from a notification? 3. Collecting Physical Photos Boomers have a knack for keeping physical photos, often neatly arranged in albums or frames. Unlike digital photos that can be lost in the endless scroll, physical photos offer a tangible way to reminisce. Dr. Rebecca Smith from the Memory Institute emphasizes that handling physical photos can help reinforce memory retention better than digital images. There's a certain nostalgia that comes with flipping through an album and reliving memories. This habit makes you appreciate moments captured in time, something that's often lost in digital storage. Physical photos have a way of bringing stories to life, and boomers know this well. Looking at a photo of a past event can make the experience feel present again. It serves as a reminder of where you've been and the people who've been part of your journey. This tactile experience is something digital images can't replicate. So, while it might seem outdated, there's value in printing out those digital photos and adding them to a physical album. 4. Keeping A Landline Ah, the landline—a staple in boomer households. While most of us have moved on to mobile phones, many boomers still maintain their trusty landlines. It's not just about resisting change; it's about reliability. Landlines don't drop calls, don't run out of battery, and in emergencies, they're often more reliable than cell phones. Plus, there's a certain comfort in that familiar ring. A landline offers a sense of stability that mobile phones, with their constant updates and potential glitches, sometimes lack. For boomers, it's about having a reliable backup in case their cell phones fail. There's also an element of nostalgia associated with the landline, harking back to a time when life was less connected but perhaps more personal. It's a habit that speaks to a longing for simpler times. And let's not forget, it's a great way to avoid those annoying spam calls that often target mobile numbers. 5. Using Cash For Transactions In an era dominated by digital wallets and contactless payments, many boomers still prefer using cash. There's something about the tactile nature of cash that makes transactions feel more real and immediate. A report from the Federal Reserve notes that many people over the age of 55 are more likely to use cash for everyday purchases compared to younger generations. Cash offers a tangible way to manage money, giving a clearer sense of budgeting. It's also universally accepted, so there's never a worry about whether your card will work. Boomers grew up in a time when cash was king, and old habits die hard. Using cash imposes a level of discipline that credit cards don't, forcing you to think twice before making impulsive purchases. It makes budgeting straightforward—when the wallet is empty, it's time to stop spending. It's a financial habit that many could learn from, especially in a world where consumer debt is a growing concern. Plus, it's a surefire way to avoid digital fraud, as cash can't be hacked. 6. Reading Physical Newspapers The rustle of a newspaper's pages is a sound that many boomers cherish. While digital news is instant and constantly updated, there's something special about holding a physical paper. Reading the newspaper is more than just staying informed; it's about the experience, the routine, and often, the coffee that accompanies it. For boomers, reading the paper is a daily ritual that starts the day off right. It's a habit that allows for quiet reflection in a busy world. Physical newspapers offer a different kind of engagement. You're more likely to stumble upon articles you wouldn't click on digitally, expanding your horizons. There's also the satisfaction of completing a crossword puzzle or scanning the classifieds. It's a tactile and immersive experience that digital screens can't replicate. Plus, it's a great break from screen time, giving your eyes a much-needed rest. 7. Sending Christmas Cards Boomers are big on sending physical Christmas cards during the holiday season, a tradition that seems to be fading. It's not just about spreading holiday cheer, but about maintaining connections with friends and family. According to etiquette expert Lizzie Post, sending cards shows that you've taken the time to think about someone. This small gesture goes a long way in keeping relationships strong and meaningful. Opening a card filled with handwritten holiday wishes feels more personal than a generic e-card. Christmas cards are often adorned with a family photo or a personal update, creating a connection that lasts beyond the holiday season. Boomers appreciate the effort that goes into mailing a card, from choosing the right design to writing a heartfelt message. It's a tradition that brings joy both to the sender and the receiver, creating a sense of warmth and nostalgia. Sending cards is a way to pause and reflect on the year, making it a meaningful habit. It's a tangible way to spread joy and maintain connections, something we could all use more of. 8. Playing Board Games Long before video games and mobile apps, board games were the entertainment of choice for many families. Boomers spent countless hours playing games like Monopoly, Scrabble, and Clue, and these games have a timeless appeal. Board games offer a way to gather around the table and interact, fostering communication and camaraderie. Unlike digital games, board games encourage face-to-face interaction, laughter, and sometimes a bit of friendly competition. It's a habit that brings people together, something that's increasingly rare in today's tech-driven world. Board games create lasting memories and often become a family tradition passed down through generations. They teach valuable skills like strategy, patience, and teamwork. Boomers understand the joy of spending an afternoon playing a game, perhaps with a cup of tea in hand. It's a way to disconnect from the digital world and reconnect with those around you. Whether it's a rainy day pastime or a holiday tradition, board games offer entertainment and bonding in equal measure. 9. Loyalty To Specific Brands Boomers are known for their strong loyalty to certain brands, be it the toothpaste they've been using for decades or the specific brand of coffee they swear by. This loyalty often stems from a sense of trust built over years of consistent quality. When boomers find a brand that meets their needs, they stick with it, valuing reliability over the allure of something new. This habit is about more than just consumerism; it's about finding comfort in the familiar. Knowing exactly what to expect from a product offers peace of mind. Brand loyalty leads to a kind of simplicity in decision-making that many younger generations lack. Boomers don't spend time agonizing over which brand to choose; they go with what they know and love. This habit of sticking to trusted brands can also be seen as a form of self-expression. It says something about their values and priorities, perhaps emphasizing quality over quantity. It's a straightforward approach to consumerism that many could find refreshing in a world overflowing with options. 10. Gardening Gardening is a beloved pastime for many boomers, offering a sense of fulfillment and peace. It's a way to connect with nature, cultivate beauty, and enjoy the fruits of one's labor. For boomers, gardening is more than just a hobby; it's a form of therapy. It provides a sense of accomplishment, whether it's growing vegetables, flowers, or simply maintaining a lawn. Plus, it offers a break from the digital world, providing time for reflection and relaxation. Gardening teaches patience and responsibility, as plants require regular care and attention. Boomers take pride in nurturing something from seed to bloom or harvest. This habit offers a sense of community, too, as gardeners often share tips, seeds, and produce with neighbors. Whether it's a small herb garden on a windowsill or a sprawling backyard project, gardening brings joy and satisfaction. It's a habit that nourishes both the body and the soul. 11. Listening To The Radio Before streaming services and podcasts took over, the radio was the main source of music, news, and entertainment. Boomers grew up with the radio as a constant companion, whether it was a car ride soundtrack or a morning ritual. There's something uniquely comforting about tuning into a favorite station and hearing familiar voices and music. Radio offers a sense of community, connecting listeners through shared programming and local updates. It's a habit that brings nostalgia and continuity. Radio listening creates a shared experience, uniting people with similar tastes and interests. Boomers appreciate the spontaneity and unpredictability of radio, from discovering new music to catching a live event. It's a habit that encourages active listening, as you can't skip or replay tracks at will. Radio fosters a sense of connection to the world, with live updates and real-time interactions. It's a medium that continues to thrive, even as digital options expand. 12. Visiting Libraries For many boomers, libraries are more than just a place to borrow books; they're a sanctuary of knowledge and discovery. Libraries offer a quiet space to read, study, or simply escape the hustle and bustle of daily life. Boomers appreciate the wealth of information available, from books and magazines to newspapers and archives. Visiting a library is a habit that fosters continuous learning and curiosity. It's a place where you can lose yourself in a world of words and ideas. Libraries offer a sense of community, too, hosting events, workshops, and clubs for people of all ages. Boomers value the opportunity to connect with others who share their interests and passions. This habit encourages lifelong learning and exploration, keeping minds active and engaged. In a world where everything is available online, libraries provide a tactile, immersive experience that can't be replicated digitally. Whether it's a weekly visit or a monthly ritual, libraries remain a cherished part of boomer life. 13. Cooking From Scratch Boomers often prefer cooking meals from scratch, valuing the process as much as the result. This habit stems from a time when convenience foods were less prevalent, and home-cooked meals were the norm. Cooking from scratch allows for creativity and control over ingredients, ensuring meals are fresh and tailored to personal taste. It's a habit that fosters a deeper connection to food and nutrition, prioritizing quality over convenience. Boomers take pride in their culinary skills and the joy of sharing homemade meals with loved ones. Cooking from scratch also offers a sense of accomplishment and satisfaction. It's a chance to experiment, learn new techniques, and pass down family recipes. This habit encourages mindful eating, as the effort involved makes meals more meaningful. For boomers, it's about more than just feeding the body; it's about nourishing the soul. In a world where fast food and takeout dominate, cooking from scratch is a timeless tradition worth preserving. Solve the daily Crossword
