I bought my in-laws novelty Christmas presents and their reaction made me file for a divorce

Daily Mail​

18-06-2025

A Reddit user has revealed how her choice of Christmas presents for her in-laws resulted in her divorcing her soon-to-be ex-husband.
Content creator Tatty Lomas, from Staffordshire, took to TikTok to share a story of another woman's experience, which was originally shared on Reddit's AITA forum.
Tatty retold the story from the beginning and explained that the anonymous Reddit user wed her husband Steve in 2018, and that right from the get-go, his family never took a liking to her.
'His family literally hated me from day one,' said Tatty while explaining the post by the Reddit user, adding, 'The first time I ever met them, I took a little cake over, and later on in the evening, I found the cake in the bin.'
'They would also insult me. They would call me a gold digger because, at the time, I was out of work because I had just been made redundant, and my husband was an owner of a business that was successful.'
'When we were getting married, his family basically forced me to sign a prenup, and I was like, 'Well, if it's going to make things easier, I have absolutely no issue doing that at all, I'm not with this man for money so, let's do it'.'
However, the Reddit user said Steve's business ended up 'tanking it' during the pandemic, which, in turn, made her the breadwinner. 'Because of this, Steve spiralled into a deep depression, and he wanted us to move closer to his family, so we'd have more of a support network.'
While she didn't particularly want to move closer to Steve's family, she settled on making the move to help her husband.
Tatty continued, 'Now, it's coming up to the holiday season, he is barely making any money, which means that I am responsible for buying all the gifts [for his family].
'I was going out of my way to get some thoughtful, borderline expensive gifts because these people hated me, I was giving them no reason to not like me any further.'
However, things took a turn when Steve's family requested that she didn't come to Christmas dinner.
Tatty explained that Steve asked the Reddit user to miss Christmas Eve and Christmas dinner because his family said she 'ruins the vibe'.
'Steve saw absolutely no issues with going without me. So, he didn't want me there, not a problem. I decided I was going to return all the gifts, and I used the money in the returns to get a deposit down on my own apartment.
'But I still wanted them to have Christmas gifts, so I just gave them like novelty socks, a hot water bottle, things like that.'
Tatty continued, 'I wrapped them all, gave them to Steve, and sent him on his way to his family's house, not telling them what they were inside.'
But the presents proved to be a disappointment for Steve's family, Tatty explained, 'He came home from Christmas dinner furious with me. He said that I had humiliated him.'
@tattylomas
Replying to @rachelcain63 What do you think?👀 Products used: @SimpleSkincareUK Micellar Water #storytime #makeupstorytime
♬ original sound - Tatty.
'I was like, 'Why would I spend my hard-earned money on people that don't even want me there for Christmas,' and last week I served this man with divorce papers.
'Thanks to that precious prenup that his family made me sign, I am completely protected, because everything is under my name.
'This man has no savings, no alimony, no healthcare, and do you know what, that's not my problem anymore.
'His family are obviously not on my side; they think that I should have supported him and given him something. So, what do you think? Should I have helped?'
Reddit users took to the comment section to share their thoughts on whether she should help her soon-to-be ex-husband. One said, 'You were treated horribly. Good riddance.'
A second wrote, 'They disrespected you for years, and your husband let them. You owe them nothing, and your response was completely justified. Good on you for protecting yourself and moving on.'
Another added, 'You put up with them and lot longer than I could have. The cake incident alone (and more specifically, his non-response to it) would have had me out.'
A fourth wrote, 'Well played. To hell with him and his family, you deserve so much better.'
'Congratulations on getting your self-respect back and dumping your rotten ex and his nasty family,' said a fifth.
It comes after experts warned against a common communication habit that can ultimately destroy a relationship.
'Dry begging', a term that has been coined by therapists, is a form of passive-aggressive communication whereby a person doesn't adequately explain what they need or want.
Examples include a partner saying something like 'I wish I had a boyfriend who takes me out for dinner', rather than directly asking their boyfriend to treat them more often.
In some cases, they might say nothing at all; but will make their partner aware they have done something wrong by sulking or even giving the silent treatment.
As the term becomes more widely known, experts have warned that 'dry begging' is not a healthy form of communication - and can even indicate narcissism.
After a discussion about dry begging was posted on Reddit, people were surprised to learn that there was a term for this type of behaviour - which many on the receiving end thought was normal.
What's more, it could indicate that they're narcissistic - and, worse still, it could spell the end of your relationship.
As one Reddit user said in a subreddit called 'AbuseInterrupted', writing beneath a post taken from a YouTube video on dry begging by counsellor Darren F Magee, 'When this video came across my YouTube feed a few days ago, my reaction was 'Wait, there's a word for that?''
As with exaggerated sighing or sulking, dry begging could be an attempt to provoke, for example, someone wants their partner to inquire after them and ask what is wrong.
And, if a person does end up responding in such a way, they may in turn take it as an opportunity to lash out or guilt trip you.
'Dry begging is when someone indirectly asks for something. There's a need there, but they're not stating it clearly,' US-based therapist Aerial Cetnar told HuffPost.
It may be common - dry begging reportedly crops up in many romantic relationships - but it can spell disaster.
Relationship therapist Hope Kelaher told Brides: 'It's the opposite of healthy intimacy.'