Is the Bezos, Sánchez wedding about love or money? That's the wrong question.

USA Today

2 days ago

Spoiler alert: Jeff Bezos and Lauren Sánchez's wedding seems to be the opposite of what happens in the new movie 'Materialists.'
This column contains spoilers for the movie "Materialists."
As Jeff Bezos, the founder of Amazon and one of the richest people in the world, marries Lauren Sánchez in Venice, Italy, in late June at a purported cost of more than $20 million, I keep thinking about the old debate over marrying for love or money.
In Disney movies, fairy tales and romantic comedies like the newly released "Materialists," storytellers peddle a common plot: Desirable woman is faced with a poor suitor and a rich suitor. Oh no! Whom should she choose?
Since I divorced years ago, I've dated a lot. Even in our era of sexual equality, choosing between love or money still seems tricky. But is it really?
Bezos and Sánchez: 'Materialists' come to life − almost
It's hard to talk about the Bezos-Sánchez wedding without mentioning wealth. Bezos, 61, enjoys an estimated net worth of $263.8 billion. After he divorced MacKenzie Scott − they were married for 25 years − Bezos began publicly dating Sánchez in 2019.
The divorce settlement made Scott one of the wealthiest women in the world. This time around, Bezos, according to Fortune magazine, has insisted on an ironclad prenuptial agreement with Sánchez, 55.
I have no idea whether Sánchez, a former TV journalist who has released her first children's book, is marrying for love or money. And I hope all of the parties involved find and enjoy lifelong love.
After I saw "Materialists" on the eve of Bezos' glamorous nuptials, though, I pondered the dilemma portrayed in the movie − whether to pick the rich handsome guy or the less-well-to-do handsome guy.
Audiences have taken to social media to complain about the film's bizarre ending. As a mom of daughters, I didn't care for it, either.
Throughout the movie, New York City matchmaker Lucy (played by Dakota Johnson) vows to marry a wealthy, established "unicorn." Despite reconnecting with her angry, immature ex-boyfriend John (played by Chris Evans), whom she had dated for five years, she begins seeing Harry (played by Pedro Pascal), a potential client who falls in love with her.
It turns out that Harry is everything Lucy says she wants and everything John is not: wealthy, kind and intelligent. Harry isn't as wealthy as Bezos, but he owns an expensive penthouse in Manhattan and has a driver. He's that coveted unicorn.
Yet Lucy doesn't choose Harry, and she makes that decision in a traumatic moment. Lucy had set up a female client with a potential suitor who appeared perfect, but she later finds out that the client was sexually assaulted on the date Lucy arranged.
Lucy feels guilty and begins to question her clients' dating preferences, including those involving income.
I rolled my eyes when the film ended with Lucy returning to John, a 37-year-old wannabe actor who lives in a dilapidated apartment with roommates. John has little to offer her, but Lucy chooses him because he's poor and that seems to be noble.
The Bezos-Sánchez wedding, meanwhile, seems to be the opposite of "Materialists." He has enough money to make all of her dreams come true. Yet, she may still love him for who he is, not what he's worth.
Is it OK to marry for love and money?
I was surprised to see a modern rom-com try to flip the script on love and money, but fail spectacularly. The movie had such an opportunity to promote a teachable moment for men and women who are looking for love.
Like many women, Lucy longs for an equal partner who could provide financial security, even though she also works. She doesn't try to say she could do it on her own, which in this era of "girl power" feminism is brave. As a single mom, I've also experienced those feelings while dating.
A 2022 Life Happens survey found that financial security is one of the top three most attractive traits in a partner, along with a sense of humor and intelligence. Women, especially, desire the security that money can bring.
It's not about being a "gold digger."
I have learned while dating that a steady income suggests other positive characteristics about a person. Those include being disciplined, responsible and having a strong work ethic.
Like Lucy, I've been on dozens of first dates in recent years. I've met a lot of great men − good, hardworking and kind men like Harry do exist. When a woman finds someone like that, she must love herself enough to trust and love him.
Women can reject toxicity and choose someone who is emotionally healthy and good. That is the kind of empowering message that Hollywood should be offering women.
Nicole Russell is an opinion columnist with USA TODAY. She lives in Texas with her four kids. Sign up for her newsletter, The Right Track, and get it delivered to your inbox.