logo
Is it now normal for helpers in Singapore to handle everything—from housework to parenting? Local asks

Is it now normal for helpers in Singapore to handle everything—from housework to parenting? Local asks

SINGAPORE: After noticing that many of her friends and siblings had become overly dependent on their domestic helpers, a Singaporean woman took to social media to ask: 'Is it alright to let your helper handle everything from children to house chores, etc?'
She posted the question on the r/askSingapore subreddit on Friday (June 20), explaining that based on what she had seen among her friends and family, some helpers were being made to do far more than just housework.
'Their helper is doing every single thing for their family, from house chores to feeding, changing and bathing their babies. Always see them going out and going on vacations, clubbing, etc., while their helpers are taking care of their children and homes. Even when they're out for a family outing, their helpers are always around,' she said.
On top of all that, she pointed out the pay didn't match the workload. A lot of these helpers were earning somewhere between $500 to $700 a month, which she felt was way too little considering everything they were expected to do on a daily basis.
At the end of her post, she wrote, 'Is this considered normal in Singapore, or is it a little bit too much? I feel like, especially with infants and younger kids, parents should be around their children more.' 'Why have kids if you aren't willing to be a parent?'
Opinions in the comments section were mixed. Some netizens felt that it's totally 'all right' and pretty 'normal' in Singapore for helpers to take on both household chores and childcare duties.
For them, it wasn't so much about parents shirking their responsibilities, but more about having some extra support to cope with the demands of daily life.
One netizen said, 'Every household has its own dynamics. As long as the helper has sufficient rest, don't think it's any of our business. Anyway, it's a free market. If the helper feels overworked and nothing changes after voicing out, they can always ask for a transfer.'
Another wrote, 'Singaporeans work very long hours so that they can afford the domestic helpers, and less or no time on household chores.'
A third remarked, 'It's definitely alright to, but not the most ideal arrangement.'
However, a few others disagreed with this view, arguing that parents should not delegate all their responsibilities to the helper.
One netizen commented, 'It's unreasonable (and honestly really exploitative) to expect someone to cook, clean, manage the household, and take care of all the kids' needs at $500-700 a month. If I became a stay-at-home mum and all of these responsibilities fell on me, I'd probably go mad.'
'Also, there's a certain level of judgment directed at parents who choose not to be hands-on. The helper is supposed to help you, not replace you. Why have kids if you aren't willing to be a parent?' MOM: Domestic helpers must receive proper rest and fair treatment
Employers may assign their domestic helpers to carry out both household chores and childcare duties; however, the Ministry of Manpower (MOM) mandates that helpers must be given proper rest, fair treatment, and appropriate compensation.
According to their guidelines, helpers are entitled to 'one rest day' per week and must be provided with 'adequate shelter, basic amenities, sufficient ventilation, safety, modesty, privacy, and adequate food.'
Read also: 'I'm still her child and I have feelings too': Daughter says her mum favours siblings who give more money, even though she covers most family expenses
Featured image by Depositphotos (for illustration purposes only)
Orange background

Try Our AI Features

Explore what Daily8 AI can do for you:

Comments

No comments yet...

Related Articles

'Sometimes old people must also be trained,' commenters tell man with overbearing mother-in-law
'Sometimes old people must also be trained,' commenters tell man with overbearing mother-in-law

Independent Singapore

time9 hours ago

  • Independent Singapore

'Sometimes old people must also be trained,' commenters tell man with overbearing mother-in-law

SINGAPORE: A young dad whose mother-in-law appears to want to take over a large part of his family's life took to Reddit to ask whether his mother-in-law (MIL) is overbearing or if she is actually justified. In a Jul 7 (Monday) post on r/askSingapore, u/GibunAnJoh-A wrote about h is difficulties with his MIL's actions and wrote that he wanted ' to see another perspective of unrelated people' before deciding on what to do. He and his wife, who are in their early 30s, became first-time parents to a little boy in March. Prior to their son's birth, his relationship with his MIL was cordial but started going south afterwards. He wrote that his MIL wants to carry the baby all the time and nags them to take her advice even when it runs counter to their parenting choices. She does not respect these choices but speaks against them. For example, when they told the grandparents they'd be preparing the baby for bedtime by 7 p.m., signalling that visits would end for the day by that time, the MIL interpreted it as limiting her time with the baby. The situation is particularly hard for the post author's wife, who is still struggling with postpartum depression. The couple is more inclined to follow the post author's mum, who has been a babysitter for 15 years. She will be the baby's primary caregiver when the post author's wife goes back to work. The post author and his wife's experience appears to be not uncommon, judging by the number of commenters on the post. A Reddit user who had the same experience wrote about having drawn firm boundaries with her own mother. 'The child is yours and your responsibility, so child-minding should not be subject to anyone else's beliefs. You know very well what is best, and please believe in that. Nobody, even your parents, should sway that. If in doubt, always check in with the doctor instead,' she wrote. Another commenter who agreed wrote, 'You really have to sit down and talk with your wife. As parents, what are your non-negotiables, and what to do if mom or MIL disregards the way you want to care for and educate your child? Set boundaries and be firm. Let parents or in-laws know right from the start that there are boundaries to be respected, and you will have an easier time later on.' 'This type of toxic parent can discard. Don't want to see/hear about her grandchild, right? Then your wife can just send updates to her dad in the future and just leave her mum entirely out of any updates or invitations to meet/play with/care for the baby. 'Don't need to play nice cuz your MIL will only be further encouraged in her toxic behaviour… Sometimes, old people must also be trained and disciplined in what is acceptable behaviour. New parents have (so much) to deal with and no time for other people's stupid drama. Luckily, you all still have your mum, who's a normal human being, to help care for the baby,' another observed. /TISG Read also: Man, 25, with $10K savings contemplates cutting ties with his toxic family, asks if he can make it alone

DOWNLOAD THE APP

Get Started Now: Download the App

Ready to dive into a world of global content with local flavor? Download Daily8 app today from your preferred app store and start exploring.
app-storeplay-store