29 Thoughts I Had While Watching The First Ep Of "Secret Lives Of Mormon Wives"

Buzz Feed

a day ago

🚨CONTENT WARNING🚨
If you've been on the internet lately, then I'm sure you've seen all the buzz around The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives. The second season recently concluded in the most dramatic reunion.
So, to keep up with the masses, I decided to watch the first episode! To my shock and awe, it's not a sequel to The Secret Life of The American Teenager.
Though, spoiler alert, they're not that far off from one another!
Going into this journey, my knowledge of Mormonism didn't extend past The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City, The Book of Mormon and a soda shop called Sips.
At the very least, whether I like the show or not, I'm excited to learn something new! And if that comes with drama, then so be it. (Spoiler alert: I learned nothing, but there was a lot of drama.)
So, even though no one asked, here are all the thoughts I had while watching the first episode:
Before we jump in, here's the synopsis that Hulu gives for The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives:
"The scandalous world of a group of Mormon mom influencers implodes when they get caught in the midst of a swinging sex scandal that makes international headlines. Now, their sisterhood is shook to its core. Faith, friendship and reputations are all on the line. Will #MomTok be able to survive and continue to give the rulebook a run for its money, or will this group fall from grace?"
Talk about starting off with a bang, am I right?
The fact that "Unholy" by Sam Smith ft. Kim Petras is the first song we hear tells me all that I need to know about this series going forward. All I can say is that I AM LOCKED IN!
Is this relegated Mormon-wear? Or did they just get a really good deal at T.J. Maxx?
A child having a child...
I'm not judging! But I am wary...
So it appears that #MomTok was created by Taylor Frankie Paul and it was supposed to showcase a new generation of Mormon women.
They danced, they cussed, they hooked up with each other's husbands...this is the future, people!
We're meeting our ladies — this season will feature: Whitney, Mikayla, Jen, Jessi, Layla, Demi, Mayci, and Taylor.
I was hoping that they would each get their own intro a la Real Housewives, but alas, they did not.
Looks like the OGs of #MomTok were Taylor, Whitney, Mayci, and Mikayla.
Kinda sad that Taylor's life imploded after the swinging came to light and even more sad that she couldn't talk to her mom friends for MONTHS. However, I am confused as to why Taylor felt the need to share their...bedroom activities? Was there a leak? Or did she think that the world needed to know how she and her friends got down? Seems like not EVERYTHING needed to be shared on the internet, but that's just me.
Been there sister...but also, let's unpack this!
Taylor is talking about her new boyfriend Dakota who is a cutie, but also, comes with drama — allegedly, he was hooking up with other girls at the beginning of their relationship. Meanwhile, Taylor is going through her divorce and co-parenting with her ex ALL WHILE dealing with a public scandal. If there were ever a time to be single, now is it girl!
More info: Taylor shared that she and her ex were getting divorced because, while swinging, she stepped out on their marriage in a way that wasn't agreed upon at the time.
Like, kudos to Taylor for taking accountability...but also, I don't think this needed to be said on TikTok live...this one coulda stayed in the drafts, IMO.
To be honest, I still don't quite know what #MomTok stood (or stands) for but get your bag, I guess!
A wise man once said: "Do it lady!"
Any community who will judge you for your past wrongs is not a community you wanna be in!
A lil' harsh, Mama Liann.
I do not kink shame. All God's children!
The not-so-secret lives of Mormon wives.
Based off of the conversation between the ladies, it seems like a lot of these couples either need to be in open relationships or not in relationships at all...
This is Demi. She is 29. She and her husband, Bret, have been married for three years. He is 46. Do with that information what you will.
So, not ONLY is Taylor hopping into a new relationship months after her divorce and in the middle of a scandal, the man she's now dating is a recovering addict AND THEN she drops THIS bombshell?
Do condoms not exist in Utah?
I'm not even 20 minutes in and we have several sex scandals (swinging AND cheating), a potential pregnancy, a recovering drug addict...It's sound like the set up to a really bad joke.
^Live footage of me watching all these women younger than me living the lives they live.
The prodigal Whitney returns!
Whitney and her family moved to Hawaii to escape the backlash from Taylor and #MomTok, but now she's back and better than ever? (Spoiler alert: She was not, in fact, better than ever).
I'm confused...do any of these women actually like each other? Like, regardless of the scandal, are they even friends?
I also wanna know why!
Normalize keeping things to yourself!
I thought one of the pillars of Mormonism was abstaining from pre-/extra-marital sex and alcohol.
Perchance, the Mormon church isn't the one for you?
Taylor, girl, this is a bad take:
You hurt a lot of people / aired out a lot of dirty laundry...a little remorse would be a good thing.
I have to remember that all these women are, like, early-to-mid 20s. Their frontal lobes are still developing!
On one hand, I get it. On the other hand, Kim, there are people that are dying.
Earlier in the episode, some of the #MomTok ladies were discussing a potential cheating scandal between Whitney and her husband, Conner. Whitney immediately shut it down, but looks like there was some truth to those rumors!
Soft swinging? Lying? Cheating? DIVORCE, BABES. DIVORCE!
Whitney just revealed that Conner has been sexting girls he met on Tinder for their entire marriage...
To the tune of "Hot To Go" by Chappell Roan: D-I-V-O-R-C-E!
Put the cameras down and get every single one of these women in therapy, I swear to God.
I am speechless.
This is not the reaction you should have when your "best friend" tells you about her miscarriage:
After Whitney shared that Conner's been sexting other women their entire marriage, this is her reaction to Taylor's news. I...cannot.
RELAX, MY GUY!
In that same breath, Dakota says that he cannot be with anyone who "parties." Taylor says she won't give up alcohol. I believe this is what we call an impasse.
WHAT IS GOING ON?????
A neighborhood called the cops because there was a domestic dispute between Taylor and Dakota.
And just like that...
Shock. And. Awe.
Somehow, I think they have bigger problems than this:
I am Team Therapist!
Wow. OK. Talk about an emotional roller coaster, one that I'm unfortunately on because I am officially hooked. Do I want to be? No. Am I going to binge-watch Seasons 1 and 2 like it's my job? Absolutely.
Watch The Secret Lives Of Mormon Wives on Hulu.