Bernard O'Shea: Nicola Coughlan has Supermacs, I have Coppers — Five Irish businesses we'd love gold cards for

Irish Examiner

05-06-2025

In 2025, being granted a gold card isn't just a privilege—it's a cultural achievement. Forget Netflix deals or BAFTA nods. If you want genuine Irish respect, you need a VIP card for something that actually matters.
Take Nicola Coughlan, for example. In between starring in Bridgerton and charming everyone from Graham Norton to the Vogue crowd, she casually revealed her most impressive accomplishment to date: a Supermac's Super VIP card. Issued for life. Unlimited access to garlic cheese chips. Possibly more potent than her passport.
She posted a photo of the card with a caption that read like a mic drop: 'Few things that have happened to me impressed people more than this.' Honestly? Fair.
Now, I can't compete with international fame, but I do hold a similarly revered item: a Coppers Gold Card. That's right. Free entry to Copper Face Jacks, the nightclub where careers are forged, relationships bloom and die, and where you're never more than six minutes away from someone roaring 'Maniac 2000.'
But what if we thought bigger? What if there were more gold cards for more sacred Irish institutions?
Let's say the quiet part out loud: here are five Irish businesses we'd all secretly love gold cards for.
1. Barack Obama Plaza – The spiritual home of mid-journey toilet stop
It might be a motorway service station, but it's also a shrine. Named after the 44th President of the United States (via ancestral links to Moneygall, Offaly), Barack Obama Plaza is where Irish people make pilgrimages for breakfast rolls, diesel, and a quiet cry in the carpark.
A gold card here? Game-changer. Unlimited sausage rolls, priority access to clean loos, and your own reserved spot under the statue of Michelle and Barack.
Imagine pulling in, flashing your card, and being greeted by name like a celebrity on tour. It's not just a rest stop. It's a state of mind.
2. Brown Thomas – Where aspirations are spritzed with perfume
Ah, Brown Thomas. You go in for a browse and come out with deep financial regret and a free spritz of Tom Ford on your left elbow. It's less a department store and more a test of willpower.
But with a gold card? Suddenly, you're the main character. No more side-eyes from Chanel counters.
No more pretending to be buying a wedding gift when you're just sniffing candles. You get a personal shopper, a glass of prosecco on arrival and a makeup artist who calls you 'darling' unironically. Heaven.
3. All Car Parks – Because modern Irish success is measured in free parking
There are two types of Irish people: those who pay for parking and those who know a fella. A gold card for all car parks? That's prestige. That's wealth. That's freedom. Forget flying private.
The proper flex is driving into any town in Ireland and confidently ignoring the parking meter.
No more tapping apps, scrambling for coins, or desperately trying to decode whether you're in a loading bay. Your gold card waves all fines. It's basically diplomatic immunity with a windscreen sticker.
4. The NCT Centre – Where dreams are dashed over wiper blades
The NCT Centre is Ireland's great leveller. It doesn't matter who you are—teacher, builder, bishop, or Taoiseach—if your car fails due to a dodgy headlamp alignment, like your driving test, you're driving home in shame (yes, I know the irony).
The waiting room is a temple of tension, where people sit in silent prayer, watching their reg plates pop up on the screen like the results of a medical test.
Nothing brings out middle-aged existential dread like a softly muttered, 'It didn't pass today.'
A gold card means guaranteed passes, fast-tracked appointments, and immunity from the man who asks, 'Have you your insurance disk up?'
You drive in, they salute. You drive out with a cup of tea and a sticker that says, 'Passed First Time (Because I'm Class).' And best of all? You never have to look up what 'axial play in wishbone bushes' means ever again.
5. Every Deli Counter in Ireland – The beating heart of the nation
No matter how fancy our coffee gets or how many brunch spots are open, the Irish deli counter reigns supreme. It's where real decisions are made. Where builders, teachers, and sleep-deprived parents queue shoulder to shoulder for sustenance wrapped in foil.
A gold card for all deli counters? It's the ultimate fantasy. You walk in, and they know your order. You say nothing. You raise an eyebrow, and they start buttering the roll. Chicken fillet, stuffing, cheese, taco sauce—all yours. No charge. No judgement. Just warm, bready love from Malin to Mizen Head.
Nicola Coughlan might have Supermacs. I might have Coppers. But the truth is, a gold card isn't about VIP velvet ropes or getting a table at some rooftop bar in Manhattan. The real Irish fantasy isn't excess—it's recognition. It's walking into a place and being seen. Being known. Not for fame, but for familiarity. For being part of the furniture.
And if it comes with free curry chips and a club orange? Even better.
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