'Is a Canadian team even allowed to win me anymore?' The imagined thoughts of the Stanley Cup
Article content
In Dear Diary, the National Post satirically re-imagines a week in the life of a newsmaker. This week, Tristin Hopper takes a journey inside the thoughts of the Dominion Hockey Challenge Cup. Or, as its more commonly known, the Stanley Cup.
Article content
Article content
Article content
Monday
Article content
Article content
Life comes at you fast. One minute you're a donated silver cup being fought over by toothless Canadian amateurs fresh from a shift at the dockyards. The next, you're a heavily trademarked corporate laurel that spends most of its time around American millionaires.
Article content
I've been to the White House so often I've got my own Secret Service code name. I've been filled with hot wings and Kristall liqueur more times than I can count. There are times I catch myself spelling 'colour' without the 'u.' I stared in the mirror for several minutes at the Dominion Hockey Challenge Cup inscription on my bowl. How often do I forget it's even there.
Article content
Tuesday
Article content
I'll be frank; I didn't know Canadian teams were still technically able to win me. I figured Canada had lost a war or something, and as a condition of the surrender they had to forsake access to their most treasured cultural object.
Article content
That's how these things usually go, right? That's why the Mona Lisa, an Italian cultural treasure, is in France. It's why Egypt's Rosetta Stone is in the U.K.
Article content
Article content
So to learn that the Oilers merely have to win some hockey games to get me back is quite surprising. I thought my return to Canadian soil could come only at the conclusion of some devastating internecine conflagration.
Article content
Article content
Wednesday
Article content
The answer is, no. The last I heard from any of them was when the Roland Michener Tuna Fishing Trophy tried to borrow money. Do I think I'm better than them? Yes. As much as I respect the emerging sport of Dragon Boat racing, I would controversially contend that the Ramon John Hnatyshyn Dragon Boating Cup doesn't inspire the heart of young athletes in quite the same way as I do.
Article content
Thursday
Article content
I would remind people that I continue to spend a disproportionate amount of time with Canadians. It's just that these particular Canadians live in the United States, work for U.S. companies, are paid in U.S. dollars and have married Americans (blondes, mostly).
Hashtags
Try Our AI Features
Explore what Daily8 AI can do for you:
Comments
No comments yet...
Related Articles
CBC
an hour ago
- CBC
Baristas compete to represent Canada at the World Barista Championship in Italy
Wake up and smell the coffee! 17 competitors from across the country are competing at the Canadian National Barista Championship in Edmonton. It's all to represent Canada at the World Barista Championship in Milan, Italy in October.
National Post
2 hours ago
- National Post
Arseneault opens NBO with straight sets win over Royer
Wild-card entry Nicolas Arseneault of Richmond Hill, Ont., will be among those saluting Vasek Pospisil as the Canadian tennis veteran begins play in his final National Bank Open tournament on Sunday night. Article content The 18-year-old Arseneault warmed up for the evening's featured match by knocking off 24-year-old qualifier Valentin Royer of France 6-3, 7-6 (4) in one hour, 45 minutes on the grandstand court at Sobeys Stadium. Article content Article content Article content Royer had more winners (21-14) than Arseneault, but had more unforced errors (48-23). Article content The Canadian had five aces, four double faults, a first serve percentage of 68, and won five of 11 break points. Article content Royer had three aces, six double faults, a first serve percentage of 61 and only won four of nine break points. Article content The 35-year-old Pospisil, from Vernon, B.C., will play Facundo Bagnis of Argentina on centre court in his opening round men's singles match. Article content Pospisil has a career-high singles ranking of world No. 25, and No. 4 in doubles. Along with partner Jack Sock, he won the 2014 Wimbledon Championships and the 2015 Indian Wells Masters men's doubles titles. He also reached the quarterfinals in singles at the 2015 Wimbledon Championships.
CTV News
2 hours ago
- CTV News
Flaherty, Torres help Tigers snap six-game losing streak with 10-4 win over Blue Jays
Detroit Tigers starting pitcher Jack Flaherty throws in the second inning of a baseball game against the Toronto Blue Jays, Sunday, July 27, 2025, in Detroit. (AP Photo/Jose Juarez) DETROIT (AP) — Jack Flaherty pitched six scoreless innings, Gleyer Torres hit a three-run homer and the Detroit Tigers ended a six-game losing streak with a 10-4 victory over the Toronto Blue Jays on Sunday. Detroit had lost 12 of its past 13 games. Toronto fell to 8-2 since the All-Star break. Flaherty (6-10) allowed a double and four singles. He struck out seven and walked one to end a seven-start winless streak. Max Scherzer (1-1), pitching on his 41st birthday, fell to 2-3 in five career starts against his former team. He allowed three hits in seven innings, including Torres' homer, and struck out 11 without issuing a walk. Dillon Dingler started the third with a single and took third on a Parker Meadows double. Scherzer retired the next two batters, but Torres hit a high fastball into the right-field stands for a three-run homer. The Tigers put the game away with seven runs in the eighth inning, including six with two out. Toronto scored four runs in the ninth off reliever Luke Jackson, who was making his Tigers debut. Bo Bichette had five of Toronto's 10 hits, extending his on-base streak to 19 games. Key moment The Blue Jays had runners on the corners with two out in the seventh. Brenan Hanifee relieved Tyler Holton and threw a slider over the middle of the plate. The ball left George Springer's bat at 108 mph, but Parker Meadows made a simple catch of the line drive in center field. Key stat The loss prevented Toronto from sweeping a four-game series from the Tigers for the first time in franchise history. Up next The Blue Jays travel to Baltimore for a four-game series against the Orioles. RHP Chris Bassitt (11-4, 3.88) is scheduled to start Monday's opener. Detroit remains home for a three-game series with the Arizona Diamondbacks. The Tigers face former teammate LHP Eduardo Rodriguez (3-6, 5.50) on Monday night. ___ AP MLB: Dave Hogg, The Associated Press
