Living with a tall man is no picnic - here's why
The research by the Australian Catholic University and published in the academic journal Evolutionary Behavioural Sciences found that there really is such a thing as 'short man syndrome' and shorter men were more likely to display envy, jealousy and competitiveness.
I must admit I like tall men. While my teenage girlfriends were swooning over some boy's thick dark hair, piercing eyes or bulging biceps, I'd be checking how lofty they were.
But after a succession of tall men - when I say succession that's three - as partners, including my 6ft 4in husband, I'd say height isn't all it's cracked up to be and small men don't need to fret.
For a start, tall men are always banging their heads. Rarely a week goes by without my husband ranting after bashing his forehead into something. This week it was the up-and-over garage door, after which he berated me for not raising it high enough. As I'd opened it for my own 5ft 4in frame, there was no need to raise it further.
Tall men disrupt sleep and it's not because they are amazing lovers, they are just too big for double beds and hog the space. We can't fit a queen or king-size bed in our bedroom, so, most nights I've got to fight for my half of the mattress.
Tall men hog the mattress, making a good night's sleep difficult. Picture: Pixabay
Public transport is difficult. Try travelling on a bus with a tall man. 'I can't sit there, or there,' he will say. When I first met my husband we travelled by coach from London to my parents' home near Middlesbrough. It was the first - and last - time we took a long-distance coach journey - coaches are not made for tall people. I was thankful my parents didn't live in Inverness.
Trains aren't much better and thankfully we rarely fly.
Then there's driving. Tall men need cars to accommodate them. With me as the main driver we have mostly owned small cars which are fine for me, but if my husband is driving he squirms around for about half an hour to 'get comfortable' then moans the entire journey about how cramped it is, how the rear-view mirror obscures his field of vision, and the head rest sits at neck level.
Public transport is no better. Try travelling on a bus with a tall man. 'I can't it there, or there,' he will say. When I first met my husband we travelled by coach from London to my parents' home near Middlesbrough. It was the first - and last - time we took a long-distance coach journey - coaches are not made for tall people. I was thankful my parents didn't live in Inverness.
Thankfully, we rarely fly.
There are even issues with the kitchen work surfaces. 'They're too low, I've got back ache,' is common tall-man-cooking complaint.
My husband's height means even trivial things are potential flashpoints: we always argue over where to hang pictures, his eyeline being totally different to mine.
On the plus side the bath is too short, which works well for me, as it's now my domain, while the shower is his.
He even says the bathroom sink is too low.
Even buying clothes is problematic - shirt sleeves are invariably too short, while shoes in size 12 are not always in stock.
I can't deny having a tall man around is useful. He can spot people in a crowd, reach things on the top shelf in the supermarket and effortlessly flick away cobwebs on the ceiling at home.
But fear not short men - being tall has its drawbacks, and for us women, a tall-man relationship is certainly no bed of roses.
Hashtags
Try Our AI Features
Explore what Daily8 AI can do for you:
Comments
No comments yet...
Related Articles
Yahoo
5 hours ago
- Yahoo
Aussie first home buyer's new suburban purchase turns into 'disgusting' nightmare
A major city council has pledged to step up action at a notorious illegal dumping hotspot, after frustrated locals warned the issue has spiralled out of control at new housing estates. In Craigieburn, 25 kilometres north of Melbourne's CBD, rubbish has been piling up for months at a vacant lot next to a property recently purchased by new homeowner Alexandra. She and her neighbours say the waste issue has become so bad it often overflows onto nearby nature strips and footpaths during high winds, becoming "quite dangerous" to both pedestrians and drivers. To make matters worse, the mess frequently attracts cats, crows and maggots with locals saying it has become a health hazard due to the presence of chemicals, pet waste and rotting food. Alexandra says she has repeatedly pleaded with the Hume City Council to take action, but was initially told they were unable to do so because the rubbish is located on private property. The Melbourne woman said she was proud to have purchased in the area but now feels as though she can't have guests around due to the unsightly mountain of waste in the area. "And now it's like, 'Oh yeah, come, come round, but let's just display this huge disgusting rubbish dump that I've got next door'," she told A Current Affair. "It's like a tornado of rubbish just getting blown around every day. Every single day, I see a new pile of rubbish. It's gotten to the point of squalor." It's an issue Yahoo has reported on frequently in recent months. A Victoria Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) spokesman confirmed earlier this year that the rate of illegal waste dumping has skyrocketed across the state – something that is being felt on new suburban outskirts. While locals are frustrated in Craigieburn, it's certainly not the only region in Melbourne currently trying to combat the problem. On the outskirts of the city, where suburbia meets farmland, shocking images supplied to Yahoo in March show building waste, such as polystyrene and plastic sheeting, dumped in the environment alongside mattresses and household rubbish. It costs the City of Melton —adjacent to the City of Hume — $2.3 million a year to rectify. In the Shire of Moorabool, Bacchus Marsh has also recently become a dumping ground. In the southeastern suburbs, Cardinia Shire is urgently asking residents to report any illegal dumping they see. Meanwhile in Bendigo, illegally dumped household waste has "turned once-pristine parks into unsightly wastelands". In fact, illegal dumping has become an "all too familiar story" nationwide. Danny Gorog, CEO and founder of Snap Send Solve, said the illegal act is more than just rubbish left in the wrong place; it signals a bigger issue with waste disposal accessibility and awareness. Video captured trash-filled trucks emptying their loads onto private property in broad daylight in April, highlighting the brazen nature of the offenders. In Tarneit, in Melbourne's west, fields of waste stretch over acres of property. It's privately owned, but it resembles a council rubbish tip. Gorog said whether it's dumped tyres in fields or household waste dumped in laneways, "it shows we need better solutions to make proper disposal easier" and more convenient. As for Alexandra, she wants an immediate resolution. "It really does need to be cleaned up," she said. "We have a lot of families in our neighbourhood, young children. We're worried about our health and our safety. It's disgusting and it's disappointing." This week, the Deputy Mayor of Hume City Council, Naim Kurt, vowed to improve the clean-up effort and "prioritise" the Craigieburn location. Photo exposes illegal act 'surging' across Australia Confronting photos expose $2.3 million hidden reality Sad reasons why 'disgusting' dumping is on the rise "Nothing grinds our goat more than dumped rubbish, and we've had a huge war on waste that we've been conducting against those doing the wrong thing in our community," he told ACA. "I agree it's not good enough ... I've spoken with officers, and I want them to be getting on top of it." Yahoo News Australia contacted Hume City Council for an update on the situation on Tuesday. Love Australia's weird and wonderful environment? 🐊🦘😳 Get our new newsletter showcasing the week's best stories.
Forbes
6 hours ago
- Forbes
3 Signs Of An Emotionally Mature Partner, By A Psychologist
Emotional maturity is an invaluable strength in a partner. Here's how to tell if they're truly ... More mature, in ways that serve your connection. The presence of an emotionally mature partner is often understated, but the impact is anything but. They're the ones who steady the ship, who stay soft when everything around them gets tough and who make emotional safety non-negotiable, irrespective of what relationship they're a part of, whether it's their family, friends or a partner. A new study published this January in Current Psychology investigated emotional maturity and mental health outcomes among a sample of over 200 university students. Researchers found that emotional maturity alone explained almost all of the variation in anxiety and depression levels, at 97% within the study model. Combined with effective communication skills, the cumulative effect was strongly predictive of improved mental health. This indicates that emotional maturity is not merely about getting through relationships. It's a key aspect of psychological resilience. Yet, emotional maturity doesn't necessarily arrive with age or time passing. It's cultivated by gaining self-awareness and then intentionally applying that awareness by taking accountability, responsibility and being present, even when it's hard, for yourself and others. So, how do you know if you're in a relationship with someone who is emotionally mature? Here are three unmistakable signs. 1. They Handle Emotions With Care Emotionally mature partners take good care of their own emotions and remain sensitive to yours. You feel safe around them. You can speak your thoughts out loud without the fear of being judged or belittled, and express when you're hurt without questioning whether it will be used against you. During an argument, they don't lash out or stonewall. They listen with curiosity instead of being defensive. They own their mistakes without blaming or feeling sorry for themselves. They use their words and actions thoughtfully and show up to understand rather than win against you. For instance, suppose you've said, 'I felt disregarded at the team dinner last night when you spent more time on your colleagues than with me.' An emotionally intelligent partner will not retort with, 'That's not the case, you're being overly dramatic.' Instead, they might pause for a second and then inquire, 'Can you help me see what made you feel that way?' They do not rush to defend themselves; instead, they take accountability where it's due and genuinely make an effort to be fully present for your feelings. A 2021 study published in Frontiers in Psychology investigated individuals' management of emotions within close relationships. Participants wrote about two emotional conflicts: one with a parent and one with a romantic partner. Researchers found that individuals scoring high in emotional intelligence employed strategies such as cognitive reappraisal — actively changing one's perspective on a situation to reduce its emotional impact. They also used selective emotional suppression — opting not to express certain emotions when maintaining the relationship was more crucial than venting the emotion at that moment. This emotional flexibility is a true sign of maturity. It's not bottling up emotions or conflict avoidance, but understanding when and how to convey feelings in a manner that adds to the relationship, rather than undermining it. 2. They Know How To Communicate And Connect Emotional maturity is not just reflected in how one handles emotions, but also in how one relates through them. Such partners communicate with purpose. They listen with compassion. And when necessary, they move towards the pain rather than away from it. A 2017 study published in Couple and Family Psychology investigated the use of romantic competence — a blend of emotional awareness, mutual respect and self-regulation — in developing intimacy. The authors determined that women's romantic competence impacted both partners' capacity for expressing positive emotions that support closeness. In men, romantic competence had a greater influence on their own capacity for emotionally relating to the relationship. When your partner is emotionally mature, communication feels like a two-way street. They don't simply wait for their turn to talk. They ask good questions. They take a moment before answering. And they don't interrupt challenging conversations with tension or deflection. Additionally, they don't interpret your boundaries as rejections. Rather, they interpret them as signposts to connection. They work with you, not over you. They know when to give you space and when to step in gently. They also don't weaponize people-pleasing. Emotionally mature people don't use kindness, agreeableness or self-sacrifice as tools of manipulation, whether consciously or unconsciously. They don't say yes just to avoid conflict and then hold resentment in silence. They don't agree with you to gain approval only to later withdraw, explode or guilt-trip. They aren't overly nice because they fear rejection or want control over how others view them, and they don't avoid honest conversations just to keep the peace because they know that isn't healthy. A mature partner also apologizes meaningfully — not because they wish the fight to cease, but because they wish to comprehend the rupture and avoid it in the future. They don't repeat phrases merely to ease tension. They pause to think and repair. Because for them, resolution isn't about stopping discomfort — it's about restoring trust. 3. They Are Consistent With Their Support Every Day A 2022 meta-analysis published in Personality and Individual Differences examined 90 effect sizes across 78 studies. Researchers found that emotional intelligence significantly predicted romantic relationship satisfaction. The more emotionally intelligent the partner, the more likely their partners were to report fulfilling, stable relationships. Emotionally mature partners are reliable in their emotional presence, not only when things go south, but in the little, everyday moments where real intimacy is established. They do the small things that make you happy, such as putting on your favorite song while driving or ordering your favorite meal before you request it. They pay attention when you are uncomfortable and respond accordingly, without looking for an invitation. Your well-being is important to them, not just as a duty, but as a priority. They are also aware of their own emotional boundaries. They don't always need you to hold them up or be their emotional anchor. When they need space, they make it explicitly clear and manage their inner world themselves. They don't project or punish; rather, they can manage their emotions. Their kindness is not conditional. It's not limited to only you or to when times are good. They show others the same respect they show you, even when your relationship becomes strained. Their character does not change with mood or situation. Emotional maturity breeds safety. And from safety, everything else grows — intimacy, trust and long-term joy. Being with someone emotionally mature doesn't mean your relationship will be free of fights, disagreements and misunderstandings. But it does mean that when there are problems, you'll solve them as a team. Curious how emotionally intelligent you are? Take this research-backed test to find out: Emotional Quotient Inventory
Yahoo
16 hours ago
- Yahoo
15 Excuses That Keep You In A Marriage You Secretly Hate
Marriages sometimes transform into secret prisons, shrouded in a veil of excuses that keep you shackled to a partner you no longer recognize. You tell yourself it's temporary, convince yourself you're making it work for the kids, or chalk it up to a phase. Yet, the mirror reflects a story of silent discontent. Here are 15 excuses you cling to that keep you tethered to a marriage you secretly despise, and why it's time to confront them head-on. The notion that children require a stable home is a powerful motivator for staying in a marriage that lost its spark long ago. You convince yourself that your children's welfare hinges on the presence of both parents under one roof, even if the atmosphere is tense or loveless. Psychologist John Gottman's research, however, suggests that children thrive not in a household of quiet resentment, but in environments where love and respect are genuinely modeled. Ultimately, the façade of stability might do more harm than the honest pursuit of happiness. Avoiding the potential upheaval of a divorce seems noble, but kids are often more perceptive than we give them credit for. They can sense when something's amiss, internalizing the dissonance in their home environment and potentially mirroring it in their future relationships. Furthermore, when children witness a marriage devoid of affection, it inadvertently sets their expectations for their adult partnerships. Confront the idea that a change in family dynamics could ultimately lead to a healthier, more authentic life for all involved. Money matters are often cited as a primary reason for staying put, even when every fiber of your being longs for freedom. You worry about dividing assets, potential spousal support, and the sheer cost of living alone. The specter of financial uncertainty looms large, feeding into your fear of the unknown and paralyzing your ability to make a clean break. But financial independence can be empowering, offering a newfound sense of self-reliance and control over your destiny. A deeper dive into your financial anxieties might reveal that the fear is often larger than the reality. Creating a detailed financial plan, or consulting with a financial advisor, could illuminate paths you hadn't considered. By addressing the financial fear head-on, you can dismantle the myths that have kept you stagnant. There's freedom in financial literacy, transforming what once seemed insurmountable into a manageable challenge. The years, decades even, feel like a sunk cost, as if time spent is a reason to keep enduring a joyless marriage. You might think of the shared history—the milestones, the memories, the intertwined lives—as chains that bind you. According to behavioral economist Dan Ariely, our brains are wired to value what we've already invested in, sometimes clouding our judgment about future potential. But consider if the years ahead are worth sacrificing at the altar of past investments. Every moment spent in a loveless relationship is another moment not spent pursuing genuine happiness. The time you've invested shouldn't dictate your future; instead, let it be a lesson in what you truly want and deserve. There's a difference between history and destiny, and understanding that can liberate you from the chains of past decisions. Remember, your life is a story still being written, and it's never too late to change the narrative. Loneliness is a haunting specter, often more feared than the reality of an unfulfilled marriage. The comfort of another body, even one accompanied by emotional disconnect, feels safer than the unknown void of solitude. Yet, in an era where self-discovery and personal growth are celebrated, solitude can be a profound opportunity for reinvention. It's an opportunity to reconnect with yourself and redefine your life on your terms. The fear of loneliness often stems from a fear of facing oneself. But imagine the empowerment that comes from forging a relationship with yourself, unencumbered by the expectations or disappointments of a partner. In the silence, you might find your voice, your passions, and a renewed sense of self-worth. Alone doesn't have to mean lonely; it can mean open to new possibilities. We live in a culture that often equates marital status with success, as if being single is a mark of utter failure. The pressure to conform to societal norms is immense, whispering that you're supposed to be married by a certain age, with a certain type of partner, living a certain kind of life. According to sociologist Stephanie Coontz, societal expectations are deeply ingrained, influencing personal choices and perceptions about relationships. But the truth is, societal norms are frequently outdated and do not reflect the diversity of human experience. Challenging societal expectations requires courage but offers the promise of living authentically. Imagine the relief of casting aside the weight of others' opinions and embracing a life that is true to who you are. Every relationship is unique, and there is no one-size-fits-all model that guarantees happiness. By redefining success on your own terms, you can break free from society's shackles and chart a path that brings you genuine fulfillment. Empathy and kindness are commendable, but they can also become the very chains that bind you to an unhappy relationship. You dread the thought of causing your partner pain, opting instead to endure your discontent in silence. However, staying in a relationship out of pity does a disservice to both parties involved. It denies both you and your partner the opportunity for growth, happiness, and perhaps even finding a more compatible partner. It's crucial to remember that honesty, although painful, can be the kindest gesture in the long term. By initiating an open dialogue, you offer your partner the same chance at happiness that you seek for yourself. While the transition may be difficult, it could ultimately lead to personal growth and deeper self-awareness. The pain of the truth is often more bearable than a lifetime of silent suffering. Hope is a powerful, seductive force, often leading you to cling to an idealized vision of the future rather than face the reality of the present. You tell yourself that with time, effort, or perhaps a change in circumstance, your partner will revert to the person you fell in love with. However, relationship expert Dr. Harville Hendrix notes that while change is possible, it requires mutual willingness and effort, not just hope. Waiting for change without proactive steps is often a recipe for prolonged disappointment. The danger lies in the endless cycle of waiting for improvement that never comes. This perpetual state of anticipation can erode your spirit, leaving you drained and disillusioned. Instead of banking on potential, assess the current reality with a critical eye. If the present is not serving your well-being, it's time to take action, either through candid communication or by moving on for the sake of your mental health. Family can be both your greatest ally and a formidable obstacle, especially when it comes to matters of the heart. They might have high hopes for your relationship, projecting their dreams and expectations onto your reality. You worry about disappointing them, fearing judgment or the possibility of being ostracized. However, living a life dictated by others' desires can lead to resentment and a loss of self-identity. Family influence can be a double-edged sword; while they may have your best interests at heart, they do not live your life. It's important to establish boundaries and communicate your needs and desires clearly. Your happiness should not be sacrificed on the altar of familial expectations. By prioritizing your well-being, you set an example of courage and authenticity that could inspire others in your family to do the same. Religion can be a powerful guide, offering a moral framework and a sense of community. Yet, when it comes to unhappy marriages, religious beliefs can sometimes trap you in a cycle of guilt and obligation. The fear of spiritual repercussions or community judgment can be paralyzing, leaving you feeling stuck. However, many religious teachings also emphasize the importance of love, compassion, and personal well-being, which can be interpreted as supporting a move towards happiness and fulfillment. Balancing religious obligations with personal needs is a delicate act, but not an impossible one. Consulting with spiritual leaders or engaging in personal reflection can provide clarity and guidance. Remember, spirituality is deeply personal, and your interpretation of its teachings can evolve as you do. By aligning your spiritual beliefs with your personal truths, you can find a path that honors both. The prospect of starting anew can feel overwhelming, as if you're standing on the precipice of an unknown abyss. You might be daunted by the thought of re-entering the dating scene, establishing new routines, or even rediscovering who you are outside the marriage. The fear of the unknown can be paralyzing, keeping you tethered to the familiar, even if it's unfulfilling. But starting over can also be a thrilling adventure, a chance to rewrite your narrative with authenticity and purpose. Embracing change requires a shift in mindset, from viewing it as a threat to seeing it as an opportunity. Each day is a blank page, and you hold the pen. The first steps may be tentative, but with each stride, confidence grows, and possibilities unfold. Remember, life is not a linear path but a journey of constant evolution, and starting over can be the doorway to a more vibrant chapter. You look around at the house, the vacations, the shared friendships, and the joint accomplishments, and it feels impossible to walk away. You've built a life together, brick by brick, and dismantling it feels like unraveling your entire identity. But holding onto a life that no longer feels like yours is a quiet form of self-betrayal. According to therapist Esther Perel, shared history doesn't always equate to shared future. That life you built was meaningful—but that doesn't mean it should become a monument to your unhappiness. Sentimentality can keep you trapped in nostalgia, masking the reality that what once worked may no longer serve you. It's okay to honor your shared past while choosing to move forward differently. You're allowed to rebuild, even if it means starting from scratch. This excuse often takes root after years of emotional neglect or subtle erosion of self-worth. You start to believe the relationship is your ceiling, that you're too old, too damaged, or too complicated for someone new to love you. This internalized rejection becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy, keeping you small, silent, and stuck. But this belief is not truth—it's fear in disguise. You are not unlovable—you've just been in a space where you weren't seen fully. The longer you stay in an environment that diminishes your value, the more disconnected you become from your inherent worth. Rediscovering your self-esteem can ignite the courage to seek a life where you are not only wanted but genuinely cherished. Worthiness is not conditional—it's your baseline. When you've been unhappy long enough, you start moving the goalposts. You tell yourself you're not yelling, cheating, or throwing things—so maybe it's not that bad. You compare your marriage to the train wrecks you've seen around you, and suddenly, mediocrity becomes acceptable. But using dysfunction as your benchmark only keeps you settling for less than what you deserve. A low-conflict but emotionally barren marriage is still an emotional prison. Peace and passion are not mutually exclusive—you don't have to choose one or the other. Just because others are suffering more visibly doesn't mean your quiet unhappiness isn't valid. Stop measuring your relationship by what you've avoided and start asking what you truly crave. Self-blame becomes a coping mechanism—if you're flawed, too, then maybe the misery is justified. You fixate on your shortcomings, your temper, your mistakes, and tell yourself you're not entitled to more. While accountability is healthy, weaponizing it against yourself is not. It becomes an emotional sleight of hand that keeps you in cycles of guilt and self-erasure. A relationship isn't about perfection—it's about mutual care, growth, and respect. Recognizing your flaws shouldn't cancel out your needs. You can be imperfect and still deserve to be seen, loved, and emotionally safe. The goal isn't to find someone without flaws—it's to be in a relationship where you both feel empowered to evolve, not ashamed to exist. Divorce, to many, still whispers of failure—of giving up, breaking vows, and not trying hard enough. You fear the label, the pitying glances, or worse, the internal narrative that you just couldn't make it work. But staying in a miserable marriage out of fear of failure is the real defeat. Success isn't about longevity—it's about living in alignment with your truth. Redefining failure means honoring growth, not endurance. Leaving a marriage can be a powerful act of integrity, especially when it's done with clarity and self-respect. You didn't fail because it ended—you evolved. A failed marriage doesn't make you a failure; staying in something that erodes your soul out of fear? That's the real tragedy. And you're capable of writing a better ending.
