These 28 TikTok Products Have Got To Be From The Year 3000

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5 days ago

A belted portable cordless vibrating heating pad because every time Mother Nature comes around you swear she's trying to kill you. Since you can't use the *I'm bleeding uncontrollably* excuse to get out of work every month, this bad boy is exactly what you need to make your cramps and pain much more bearable. Thank you future, this one's a win win win.
A Solawave red light therapy wand that'll help reduce dark spots and fine lines, and stimulate and lift the skin (thanks to microcurrents), all while giving you a delightful as heck facial massage and some ~therapeutic~ warmth. Your skincare products will absorb better and puffiness won't stand a chance. Sounds like an amazing spa-like facial treatment is waiting for you and you can do it from the comfort of your couch! This plus a glass of pinot?! Reason number 532 of why leaving your house sounds less and less appealing.
A Grosche moka pot — a stove top espresso maker that's super affordable. I mean, those fancy espresso makers are cool, but they cost a pretty penny. What'd the Jo Bros say? "I took a trip to the year 3000, this song had gone multi-platinum, everybody bought *these little cheap aesthetically pleasing espresso machines*" — or something like that, right?
A progress-tracking jump rope that screams "I'm from the future, they brought me back in a time machine." This bad boy is def how they exercise in 2095. You can set your weight, it has a timer, and this'll calculate the calories you burn and count your jumps. Fitness goals are getting smashed with this bb in 2025 and 3000.
Eyeshadow color removal sponges so you can dig into the brighter colors you've been avoiding in your favorite makeup palette. If you stick to neutrals because cleaning your makeup tools is a pain, this'll let you experiment with the pinks, blues, and greens you've always wanted to play in. Pull up that Pinterest makeup board and get to work at recreating your saved bold looks, cuz cleaning your brushes has never been easier.
A rechargeable magnetic phone charger/hand warmer set, which is totally genius. The two pieces magnetize together or pull apart to create one large or two smaller hand warmers, and they double as portable chargers. Think of that ski trip you're going on soon and how often this'll come in handy!
A flexible power strip with three outlets, two USB ports, and a 5-foot extension cable designed so you can Tetris this baby through the weird little nooks in your home. Bulky chargers? No worries, they won't block the other outlets!
A self-stirring mug perfect for hot cocoa so you don't get to the end of your cup and have all those big powdery chocolate chunks stuck to the bottom. Mixing sugar and creamer into your coffee just got a whole lot easier. And just think of how perfect your protein shakes will be!
A SwitchBot Smart Switch Button Pusher that can be paired with your Alexa or Google Home to *automatically* turn on and off your lights and home appliances. And with the SwitchBot app, you can schedule built-in timers and control your coffee machine, air conditioning, or even your garage doors when you're away. Hey, remember when you wished you had Pat from Smart House — I mean, before she got outta control? Well, this is pretty close.
A wine wand because you love wine but wine does not love you. This little handheld filter helps remove histamines and sulfites in alcohol that may trigger headaches and other symptoms. Plus, it'll help restore the natural taste of your wine after it's been opened.
A PhoneSoap to sanitize your phone, keys, wallet, jewelry, eyeglasses, and more. It can also charge your phone as it cleans it! This gadget claims to kill up to 99.99% of bacteria with UV light.
A set of two rechargeable emergency LED bulbs because your power is like *nah, I'm out* the second a raindrop hits the ground. Once attached to your bulb fixture, they'll stay lit for up to 3–4 hours so you can have normal lighting until Pepco straightens things out. Plus, you won't have to stumble around in the dark with just your phone flashlight (although it is portable if you do wanna move around with it).
A magnetic water bottle sleeve pouch since every time you go to the gym, your water bottle and keys won't conveniently fit in the little cup holder. No need to go ~back to the future~ to help you find the solution, cuz this bb is it. It has a strong magnet that'll attach to metal surfaces in the gym and spaces to stash your keys, phone, cards, money, whatever's with you that you don't wanna keep in your hands.
A rotating whisk blender because why tire your arm and hand out when you can mix batter, beat eggs, and froth milk the easy way? Say goodbye to making brownies and realizing you didn't whisk the egg all the way when you pour the batter into the greased pan. Thank you, futuristic little gadget.
An undetectable mouse jiggler so you can walk away from your at-home work station and make a snack or have a longer bathroom break without worrying about going "inactive" on your team Slack. Anddd without having to explain that you're making some Trader Joe's potstickers really quick and will BRB.
A split anti-soggy cereal bowl because when Boyz 'N Motion from That's So Raven said they didn't like their food to touch, you soooo felt that. If you can't stand crunchless Frosted Flakes or for the juice from your sautéed spinach to mix into your mac 'n' cheese, this bowl is calling, no, SCREAMING your name. And it looks all futuristic like something Zenon would use to eat.
A glasses lens cleaner that'll have you like "microfiber cloth who?" It uses ~carbon microfiber tech~ (def from the future) to quickly and effectively clean your glasses without scratching the lenses, might I add. Plus, it comes with a carrying case so it doesn't get exposed to bacteria and such.
An electric can opener because sometimes opening cans is such a pain. I mean, seriously, maybe I'm the only person who can NEVER get a handheld can opener to open a can, but they can be totally frustrating. Just put your cans onto the magnet, press the button and boom! Like magic.
A slim-profile, portable, ink-free Bluetooth printer *cough* from the future *cough* that'll connect to your phone, tablet, or computer to quickly print out that shipping label or article you need printed. Just grab some ~thermal paper~ and fire this bad boy up!
A Sprocket portable photo printer that'll print pics right from your phone! If Polaroids aren't your thing and you miss the good ole days of developing the film from your disposable cameras, this is *perfect*. Just connect it to your phone, download the Sprocket app to filter, edit, and add cute designs and stickers to your photos before printing them, and boom! All of those lovely pictures won't have to just sit on your phone anymore.
A "Cup Claw," because every time you throw your bras in the laundry there are only two results. A, "wait, where the heck did the pads go?!" or B, "great, now the pads are so weirdly twisted up in my bra and are making my boobs look strange*. Anyone who wears a bra, let's send lots of kisses to the inventor from the future who thought of this. 🙌 Pure GENIUS.
A portable water dispenser fancier than Squilliam Fancyson, more futuristic than Phil of the Future, and as an added bonus, it's prettyyyy. Just attach it to a water jug and tap it for water at your fingertips. People who see this on your desk or in your home won't know whether to call you bougie or accuse you of being a time traveler from 2073.
A set of legging-organizing hangers because your legging collection is growing and growing and you currently have a drawer full of balled up pants. Plus, you end up unfolding every pair and just making a mess of the drawer whenever you look for your favorites in the sea of black leggings. This'll make each pair easy to see and free up some space in your dresser. Do you think Zenon ever had this problem? Probz not, cuz she probably had this.
A keyless fingerprint doorknob that'll ONLY open to your unique fingerprint *or* a designated code. One side is plain and the other has the fingerprint and code pad, which will only light up when it's being used. Finally, a fix for people who are infamous for forgetting their keys. Nick, Kevin, Joe — did you guys grab this when you were riding around in a time machine like one in a film we've seen?
A stair-climbing Trolley Dolly because you live alone on the third floor with no elevator and although a wagon fixes your grocery issue, how the heck do you get it up the stairs? Bam! This baby has wheels that are specially designed to go up stairs while carrying up to 75 pounds. The future is lookin' good if this is a part of it.
A portable Chill-O-Matic Instant Beverage Cooler because putting your warm can of soda, beer, or seltzer in the freezer/fridge for an hour to get it cold is soooo in the past. What is this, the year 800 CE? This gadget of the future will take your room temperature 12-ounce bevy can and turn it into icy cold bliss.
A 5-in-1 Tovala smart oven for those nights that it's giving TV dinners. All you have to do is grab those pizza rolls from the freezer, scan them, and voila! This oven knows what temperature to cook them at and sets a cook time, meaning little to no work for you! Closest thing you'll get to that futuristic Spy Kids oven you wanted when you were 8.
A magnetic microwave cover because you're so sick of having to clean up your splattered spaghetti any time you have leftovers. This bb sticks to the top of your microwave so you can just pop it off when you're ready for last night's lasagna. Whoever brought this back from the future (my guess is Marty McFly and Dr. Emmett Brown), can you grab one for me?