Parasocial Fan Believes He In Real Relationship With Taylor Swift

The Onion

4 days ago

LEAWOOD, KS—Suffering from a severe delusion that he shared an intimate connection with the pop superstar, local parasocial fan Travis Kelce reportedly continued to insist Wednesday that he was in a real relationship with Taylor Swift. 'For the past two years, Travis has followed her across the globe, calling himself her boyfriend and deluding himself into thinking there's a world in which someone like her would ever know someone like him exists,' said Kelce's visibly worried mother, Donna Kelce, who noted that the psychological break with reality had begun at one of Swift's concerts when the then-33-year-old single man tried to hand the singer a friendship bracelet he had made and her security intervened. 'Ever since that day, he's been convinced this interaction led to some fairytale relationship full of public appearances, nights out on the town, and exotic vacations on a private jet, but really it's all a one-sided fantasy. He won't listen to any of us who try to reason with him—he just keeps saying he's going to propose to her at the Super Bowl. Unfortunately, Travis is too far gone to understand how crazy that sounds. It's very sad.' At press time, sources confirmed Donna Kelce had called the authorities on her son after he began spouting gibberish about how Rob Gronkowski had told him it was time to have a baby with Swift.