‘Not a competitor': Huge shift in male bedroom act exposed
Adult Toy Mega Store, one of the country's largest online retailers of sex toys and sexual health essentials, discovered that in Australia, men are outspending women when it comes to adult toys – in every state except Queensland.
New spending data from the popular retailer also found that men are buying items that are traditionally marketed towards women.
South Australian men are heading to the adult e-tailer the most frequently, spending 62 per cent more than women, while Queensland men are at the other end of the spectrum, spending two per cent less than their female counterparts.
Western Australian men are outspending women by 58 per cent, New South Wales is buying 18 per cent more and Victorian men are outspending women by six per cent.
The age group spending the most is 25 to 34-year-olds, closely following by 18 to 24-year-olds.
Emma Hewitt-Johnson, Adult Toy Mega Store's certified sex educator, said the brand was seeing a 'significant shift'.
'This isn't just about solo pleasure anymore. It's about enhancing connection. These purchases are an investment in their partner's satisfaction — and by extension, the relationship,' she told news.com.au.
'In the past, men have not embraced adult toys in the same way as women, potentially seeing them as a threat to their sexuality or their own sexual prowess in the bedroom.'
'In reality, sex toys are a companion, not a competitor! It's great to see Australian men embracing this.'  
Chantelle Otten, Bumble's resident sexologist, told news.com.au the data wasn't 'all that surprising' as Australia's understanding of sex and intimacy was expanding.
'Podcasts and social media have played a big role in normalising conversations around sex toys,' Ms Otten said.
'We've also seen more public figures and creators partnering with sexual wellness brands, which has helped bring these products into everyday conversation. It's created a safer space for Australians to get curious and feel more comfortable exploring their sexuality.
'Sex toys can be a tool for discovering your desires, exploring kinks, or simply enhancing solo or partner play. In my clinic, I often recommend them as part of self-exploration.'
She said as women were more comfortable with talking about adult toys with friends, these conversations were expanding to chats with their partners. Therefore, it made sense many men were buying toys that were female-centric.
'There's still some lingering stigma around men buying toys for solo use, which may hold some back. But toys that enhance partnered experiences feel more purposeful – there's a sense of permission that aligns with wanting to connect, please, and co-create pleasure,' she said.
'Importantly, many penis owners are no longer seeing toys as a replacement or a threat. Instead, they see them as a tool to increase intimacy and pleasure. This shift is driven by better access to information, less stigma, and a broader understanding that exploring pleasure can be a shared and fun experience.'
Ms Otten said when introducing these items into the bedroom, it doesn't have to be a big deal. However, at the same time, she acknowledged that culturally there is an idea that if these items are used, it means somehow their partner is not enough.
She stressed this is not the case, so it's important to be curious and communicative when bringing up these items.
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