Divisive new app lets women put bad dates on blast — and men are freaking out: ‘Digital vigilantism'
Tea, a women-only app that lets users post anonymous Yelp-style reviews of men they've dated, has shot to the top of the Apple App Store — and smack into the middle of a digital war between safety and slander.
The platform, launched in 2023, lets women share stories and warnings about exes, Tinder flops, and potential predators.
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3 Forget ghosting — this app has men begging to be left off the grid.
Studio Romantic – stock.adobe.com
Users can toss out 'green flags' or 'red flags' — or, in some cases, blast a guy's entire romantic résumé into cyberspace.
The feed is full of candid commentary, catfish alerts, and more than a few 'avoid this man' declarations.
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'I see men freaking out today about this Tea app,' TikTokker @azalialexi said in a recent video.
'If you don't want things like this to exist then maybe look into advocating for women's safety and actually holding your fellow men accountable.'
Tea's website claims the app was born after its founder, Sean Cook, 'witnessed his mother's terrifying experience with online dating — not only being catfished but unknowingly engaging with men who had criminal records.'
It now boasts nearly 1 million users, and it's not just the safety features — like reverse image search and criminal background checks — that are turning heads. The public reviews are what really set the app ablaze.
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3 Launched in 2023, the app lets women dish on shady dates, dodgy exes and full-on predators — one swipe and horror story at a time.
.tiktok/@theteapartygirls
'It's kind of like a Carfax situation,' Sabrina Henriquez, 28, who found out some of her exes had less-than-stellar ratings on Tea, told The Washington Post in a recent interview.
'It kind of saved [other women] from putting themselves in that situation.'
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But not everyone's here for the gossip.
'I think the app has good intentions, it's just very messy,' Donovan James, 21, also told the outlet. 'You're always going to look bad in somebody's eyes.'
Others worry it's turning into digital vigilantism.
Apps like these or Facebook groups like 'Are We Dating The Same Guy' are the 'equivalent of whisper networks,' Chiara Wilkinson wrote for Dazed.
Or as Dazed writer James Greig put it: 'It's digital vigilantism; the TikTok equivalent of a citizen's arrest.'
Douglas Zytko, a professor at the University of Michigan at Flint, said to The Washington Post that the app is filling a void dating apps never addressed: safety.
3 Still, fears of false claims linger — and TikTok is crawling with jittery dudes doom-scrolling the damage.
Mdv Edwards – stock.adobe.com
'There are multiple studies now showing that around 10 percent of overall cases of sexual assault are attributed to a dating app,' he noted.
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Still, false accusations remain a fear. TikTok is now flooded with men nervously scrolling.
'Hot take: The tea app is toxic,' wrote @johnnysaysgo, who had a female friend go undercover to see what women were saying about him. 'These women were clearly just upset… I was honest with them and respectful.'
User @david.serna.cadena warned: 'Be careful.' He added that he can see the 'vision' behind the app but noted that he knows 'how vile' people who might use it could be.
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And users like @kristakilduff are just enjoying the drama after getting accepted into the app. 'The men are not safe,' she said with a laugh in a recent clip. 'The Tea app has me weak — stay safe.'
The backlash — and buzz — around Tea is just the latest sign that the digital dating landscape is shifting, and not necessarily for the better.
As The Post previously reported, not all matches made in algorithm heaven are built to last.
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A new study published in Computers in Human Behavior found that married couples who met online reported lower levels of satisfaction and stability than those who met IRL — a phenomenon dubbed the 'online dating effect.'
Researchers pointed to factors like geographic distance, delayed family approval and lack of shared social circles as possible causes.
So, while dating apps might be great for scoring first dates and flings, they may not always deliver happily ever after.
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