Do men and women play chess differently? GM Harika Dronavalli explains ‘bad day at work' for a mother

Indian Express

05-05-2025

Harika Dronavalli didn't think that men and women approached a game of chess differently, until she knew that they did.
'I never grew up thinking or believed that chess is different for men and women players. Because I never had to struggle for support (from family, and later partner and in-laws). But now I know this sport is a harder thing for women compared to men,' says India's second Grandmaster among the active women players, ranked 14 amongst women.
It's a punch to the gut frankly – like it was for her, though the realisation was gradual. A mental sport, played sitting, with equal access to preparation tools (engines), though not funds – why should it be different? Chess doesn't need muscular power / strength, you would think. Or does it?
With her standard ELO rating of 2483, Harika is at a fairly elite level in chess' hierarchies. At 34, she is acquainted with broader contours and detailed crevices of the game, and plays in Open tournaments (women & men), whenever she can. A multiple Olympiad champion, the motivation is not in short supply, because the world title is a goal. She acknowledges the absolute support from family, even more post motherhood. But she insists there's a reason for why only one woman is ranked in the world's Top 150 (though Hou Yifan hardly plays these days, while womens world champ Ju Wenjun is 215).
It doesn't matter if you don't like her reason. 'It is harder for women,' she repeats. 'They are definitely two different people playing. Women do get emotional and become softer. There are physical struggles like periods, PMS, pregnancy and hormones. To keep focus through that is a real challenge. There are small differences. In energy, in motivation. But there's a huge difference in playing open events and women's only matches,' she says.
Playing at Pune 's Women's Grand Prix recently, Harika had a tournament that Gen Z would describe as 'mid'. She wasn't overtly upset with the results, and fairly upbeat about the season ahead. But the differences she's filed down over the years have given her clarity and acceptance – something she factors in when she plays open events.
Chess theory is equal. Women, especially when young, can play radically risky games, aggressive attacks and might not be lacking in any self-confidence. 'Emotionally just the way women see things, positions of pieces on board can be softer. A high emotional quotient sees more turns in the head. Men play with practicality,' she says. Real life, on bad days, can be annoyingly cliche-conforming.
Having struggled to convert a few positions at Pune event, Harika was forced into her 'win or learn' approach to an average showing. The year has been a tad stagnant, with hits and misses, though the Olympiad gold and a surge in interest in chess, has been interesting to follow, for Harika. She played top table and led India at the Olympiad, and she replays the success over and over again in her head when chips are down.
'Having won before I know there wasn't much recognition for women in India for years. It's just the passion to be on the podium. I didn't see gold as something extraordinary, but things have changed a bit more since Olympiad and Gukesh winning World's was one of the best days in Indian chess,' she says. 'Our gold – of course we cherish getting better and stronger. And then concentrate on next one.'
(LEFT) Harika Dronavalli with her daughter; (RIGHT) Harika takes on Polina Shuvalova at the Pune Women's Grand Prix. (PHOTO: Harika X, Abhilash Shinde via FIDE).
What's the motivation to continue at 34? 'Chess is the only thing I've known since childhood. It's my daily routine. It's not tough to be dedicated because I played 2022 Olympiad when heavily pregnant. Family is supportive,' she explains.
Child birth added another challenge, though it has its upside that compensates for all the troubles. 'Mom guilt in chess is very real. The time spent away, I miss my daughter. Life changed when it became a daily question of choosing between chess and kid. You ask yourself 'is it worth it?' almost daily,' she says.
Physical struggles post pregnancy couldn't be waved away and she could sense going softer on the board. It was bewildering to know for a fact that men had no such impediments. To the extent that she jokes that at times she felt she was living lives of two different people – like a plain Jane moonlighting as secret assassin. An intense cut-throat player on board and a completely opposite softie at home. She has a check list when she senses the tiniest of slackenings when playing – the 'womanly ones'.
'I make a conscious attempt to remind myself 'Why I started all this?' (Playing chess). And making the hard choices because you can't sit back and enjoy motherhood. You have to make space for tournaments.'
Harika takes inspiration from countless working mothers from all strata of Indian society, whose daily struggles are not even acknowledged. 'Women in India live tougher lives juggling work and children, can't complain. But what I've realized is nothing is right or wrong about being a mother. Perfection doesn't exist. You could be still working or taken a break or left work – anyway you can't be called a bad mother, so never guilt yourself,' she says.
Harika Dronavalli takes on Polina Shuvalova at the Pune Women's Grand Prix. (PHOTO: Abhilash Shinde via FIDE)
As an athlete mother, in a mind game, some days can feel like wrecking balls. 'After motherhood the brain changes, it's wired different. The killer instinct really is off a bit. More hits and misses. But on the upside, you are more relaxed in your career – you know it's not just about sport. You are very important for this little person who doesn't care if you win or lose or play badly,' she says.
Can that contentment blunt the ambition for a world title? 'No way. I'm not backing off from that dream,' she says.
'World Championship is the only thing remaining in my career. It just keeps taking time. Makes me more ambitious!' she laughs, adding she might have to go through a wringer and 'win emotionally'. But win it, she will.