Does Whitehall really have nothing better to do than spend our money on ‘trans listening circles'?
Then, with that unmissable 'Race equality allyship working group catch-up' at 4pm, you could see how it might be hard to get much work done in between. 'Allyship'. That's some premium-level balderdash we're subsidising.
It's just as well there's no direct nuclear threat from Vladimir Putin or indeed a pressing issue with soaring energy bills in the UK, because over at the Department for Energy Security and Net Zero, employees may have been too immersed in a 'listening circle for trans colleagues and allies' at 11am on May 7 to be thinking about, you know, energy cost and security.
They'll get around to reviewing the key defence infrastructure around our undersea gas pipelines once they've completed their more important work: promoting understanding, empathy and inclusivity in the workplace.
While we're on inclusivity (and when are we not?), anyone wondering why the Department for Transport took so long to produce its recent evaluation of HS1 may have their answer. With their nine-to-fives as jam-packed with LGBT events as they appear to be, it's astonishing the department managed to publish the report at all.
And should we really be expecting them to get stuck down in the weeds with the UK's only operational purpose-built high-speed line, when they could be having 'conversations on lesbian identity'?
Is it not, similarly, asking a little too much of the Department for Education to prioritise issues such as persistent teacher shortages, funding gaps and rising pupil absenteeism over yet more 'sapphic sounds' events? Someone needs to explain the overwhelming need for musical sapphism in Whitehall's day-to-day life. I think I speak for all of us when I say: I'm confused.
Elliot Keck, head of campaigns at the TaxPayers' Alliance, is not amused: 'Taxpayers are sick of seeing staff time wasted on pointless meetings and irrelevant events, none of which benefits the Britons paying for them.'
It's hard to remember a time when the government was faced with more crises than it is today, and in almost every policy area, Keck points out, 'with illegal immigration skyrocketing, energy bills through the roof and the economy in the doldrums.
'Yet pusillanimous pen pushers are devoting huge amounts of their time to ignoring these issues and focusing on their own pet projects. Ministers need to take on The Blob and demand an unconditional end to events and meetings during working hours.'
The Blob is currently away from its desk celebrating 'Pansexual Visibility Day'. But it will get back to ministers in due course.
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