Ley's revelations about coercive control will help women. It's a shame her party won't do the same
In the week since, her revelation has been the hot topic in group chats and real-world conversations among women of all age groups across Australia, as we were torn between wanting to know more of her story, but not demanding trauma porn. Also, how can you have survived coercive control, yet work within a party which continues to deny the existence of women as equal human beings?
How does a woman who's been a victim of family violence survive – and thrive – in a party with a history of neglecting the domestic violence sector? How is that humanly possible? The tension of that contradiction would kill me.
This is what the opposition leader said at the National Press Club last week: 'I want the women of Australia to hear me when I say to them as a national leader: I understand the fear you feel when you go for a walk alone. Because I have felt that fear too.'
And then: 'I understand the pain that comes with coercion and control. Because I have felt that pain too. I understand what it is like when you blame yourself for the actions of others. Because I have blamed myself too.'
She resisted follow-up questions. 'Look, I have had personal experiences, and I don't choose to share them publicly, but I want the women of Australia to know that I know, and that I'm with them, and that I understand how it feels and what it's like, and how sometimes, only looking back, can you really understand what went on.'
So what exactly is coercive control? I asked Monash University's Kate Fitz-Gibbon, a walking textbook on family violence in this country. She said it describes a pattern of abusive behaviours in intimate partner relationships that can include physical and/or sexual violence, but also a range of different coercive and controlling tactics such as financial abuse, stalking, technology-facilitated violence, intimidation.
And here's the key to the harms of coercive control, says Fitz-Gibbon: 'It can eat away at a person's sense of worth, their confidence, their understanding of who they are.'
I love that Sussan Ley escaped that in her personal life. But now she has to manage it professionally within a party that doesn't prioritise the issue. Angus Taylor was a no-show at his own leader's National Press Club speech. (His office says this was due to family health reasons and that he explained this to Ley.)
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