I struggled as a new mom. Snapchat filters masked my pain and helped me bond with my baby.
He was a hard baby, and I had postpartum depression, and I struggled with loneliness.
I found solace in taking silly photos together.
I've snapped photos with my firstborn son since he was born in 2017, but unlike my parents before me, many of the pictures I took were silly selfies with Snapchat filters.
Back then, this was a popular method of communication — so, no, I don't regret it at all. These Snapchats helped me get through a challenging and lonely time in my postpartum days.
Motherhood was difficult for me at first. I experienced postpartum anxiety, which was not officially diagnosed or treated until years later. On top of this, my firstborn son was a difficult baby, crying nonstop for hours, refusing to latch, and keeping us up all night, every night, for months.
As I worked hard to keep my baby happy, I also struggled to keep myself happy — battling terrifying intrusive thoughts, irrational anger, and overwhelming anxiety that kept me awake even during the rare times of quiet. When my husband went back to work, my feelings intensified. The minutes stretched out impossibly before me as I felt desperately alone and overwhelmed taking care of my newborn baby.
In those moments of loneliness, I would find comfort in taking photos, using cute and ridiculous filters, and then sending them to friends and family. It was an easy way to find little moments of connection. Plus, getting responses from my friends helped me feel included in their lives, even when I was stuck at home. Especially because it was hard for me to reach out to loved ones or even know how to ask for help. Sending Snapchats was the easy icebreaker I needed.
Even when I didn't send the pictures, the act of taking selfies with my baby was a bright spot in my day. With every snap, I felt more normal (and less like the tired mom I was). It was an illusion that I cherished. The pictures showed a new mom happily hanging out with her baby and hid the fact that I was sitting nap-trapped on a recliner in milk-stained clothes, with yesterday's smudged eyeliner still desperately clinging on.
It became a ritual of sorts, swiping through the filters and making my baby giggle at the funny animals, cartoons, hearts, and other features that popped up on the screen. These cute and ridiculous pictures may have been unconventional, but they helped me bond with my son. It created these pockets of fun in my otherwise mundane day filled with diaper changes, feedings, and near-constant worries.
Eventually, my baby started sleeping through the night, eating solid foods, and adapting to a schedule. I returned to work, and the intrusive thoughts came less frequently. Taking goofy photos became something fun and lighthearted rather than a lifeline.
My son still loves taking pictures on Snapchat and looking back at the cute faces he made as a baby. He doesn't know we did that when I was on the edge of despair and struggling to make it through the day without crying. He just sees his mom smiling and having fun with her new baby, and he absolutely loves it.
Pulling up Snapchat photos to reminisce on the past isn't exactly the same as going through an old photo album — but it's not that different either. And even though I have plenty of traditional photos of my baby, I don't regret taking so many with filters. It reminds me of a challenging, exhausting, and ultimately beautiful time in my life and motherhood journey. For that, I'm forever grateful for digital dog ears.
Read the original article on Business Insider
Hashtags
Try Our AI Features
Explore what Daily8 AI can do for you:
Comments
No comments yet...
Related Articles
Yahoo
20-06-2025
- Yahoo
Is Talking on the Phone Dead for Gen Z? Not Quite
Fact checked by Sarah Scott I'll tell you how old I am without telling you how old I am: When I was a teenager, you had to call someone if you wanted to talk to them. We didn't yet have texting, voice notes, or video chats. Fast forward (muffled) years later, and my kids have any number of options when it comes to communicating with friends and family. Talking on the phone is usually last on many teens' list of preferred methods. As my 14-year-old told me, calling someone is 'awkward.' She's not alone: one study from Australia found awkward phone calls are one of the top three things 42% of Gen Z wants to avoid. Instead, my teen relies on video chats or voice notes to stay in (constant) touch. Traditional phone calls may not be the cool thing to do these days, but talking is actually on the rise, according to a new report from Snapchat, a social media platform the Pew Research Center found 60% of teens use. 'It's a misconception that the phone call is dead," says Ceci Mourkogiannis, VP of Product at Snap Inc. Teens are just changing what talking on the phone looks like—and there are benefits to that too. The Snapchat report, released in June 2025, says it's actually a myth that young people aren't talking on the phone. According to the data: Snapchatters, made up of Gen Z and Millennials, collectively talk for more than 1.7 billion minutes on average every day. That's 30% more than this time last year. Voice notes are a very popular way for young people to communicate. Snapchatters in the U.S. sent over 2.5 billion voice notes in the first three months of 2025 alone. That's over 650 million more voice notes than a year ago! It's important to note that, according to Snap, the data around talking includes both video and voice chats. Mourkogiannis explains meaningful connection happens when people communicate in the way that feels most natural to them—be that sending a Snap, recording a voice note, or hopping on the phone. 'We're thrilled to see our community is actually talking more than ever before,' she adds. Meanwhile, Alisha Simpson-Watt, LCSW, BCBA, LBA, the founder of Collaborative ABA Services, LLC, says she has noticed teens gravitating toward video chats and voice notes, and texting going by the wayside. 'For some, it is easier to communicate their thoughts and feelings by speaking,' Simpson-Watt explains. 'Also, voice memos add a layer of personalization to the message because it is like you're having a real-time conversation, except that you can answer when the time is more suitable.' Plus, video chats and voice notes can offer a stronger sense of connection helping to reduce feelings of loneliness which is on the rise, particularly among younger generations."Voice memos add a layer of personalization to the message because it is like you're having a real-time conversation, except that you can answer when the time is more suitable."Of course, communication is generally regarded as a positive thing. But do our kids stand to lose anything if they aren't engaging in good old-fashioned phone conversations? Simpson-Watt acknowledges that our modern world necessitates increasing reliance on technology, but points to the possibility that the lack of 'real' interaction may be feeding teens' social anxieties. 'Younger people tend to prefer to talk with people face-to-face on the phone rather than in person,' she says. Furthermore, Simpson-Watt has noticed that younger people can be more avoidant about making simple phone calls. 'For example, younger kids may be more hesitant to call and make their own doctor appointments, as it is more nerve-wracking since they don't personally know the person they are speaking to,' she elaborates. Teens excel at sending voice notes, setting up a video chat with multiple people, and ordering just about anything via app. But I can't be alone in wanting my adolescents to still be able to thrive offline in an authentic way, and without breaking into a cold sweat. According to Simpson-Watt, encouraging kids to incorporate phone and in-person conversations into their lives is key. 'Communicating with others, whether it is on the phone or in real life, is very important even with all the technology we have today, as communication allows us to bond and connect with others more personally,' she advises. Other benefits of communicating without the help of technology include: Sharpening listening skills Picking up social cues that may not come through via text or voice note Limiting screen time So, while video calls and voice memos are fun and trendy, encouraging our kids to engage in traditional calls and more in-person socializing as often as possible can go a long way. Read the original article on Parents
New York Times
18-06-2025
- New York Times
The Smartphones Haven't Defeated Us. Yet.
Since the dawn of the television age, parents have struggled to limit or guide their children's screen time. But with the arrival of smartphones that can — and do — go everywhere and with social media apps that teenagers now use for an average of five hours every day, many parents feel a sense of resignation. The struggle has been lost. Parents who try to delay giving a smartphone until high school or social media until 16 know that they'll face the plaintive cry from their children: 'But I'm the only one!' To better understand the tensions over technology playing out in American families, we worked with the Harris Poll to conduct two surveys. As we reported last year, our survey of 1,006 members of Gen Z found that many young people feel trapped — tethered to digital products like TikTok and Snapchat. Nearly half of all participants expressed regret about having access to many of the most popular social media platforms. Here we present the second part of our investigation: a nationally representative survey of 1,013 parents who have children under 18. The overall picture isn't any better. We find widespread feelings of entrapment and regret. Many parents gave their children smartphones and social media access early in their lives — yet many wish that social media had never been invented, and overwhelmingly they support new social norms and policies that would protect kids from online harms. In our survey, 55 percent report that their children began to use a smartphone as a primary user by the age of 12, and 61 percent say the same for a tablet. Share of children with device, by age group 75% 67% 61% 65% Tablet 49% 55% 50 Smartphone 28% 25 26% 10% 5-year-olds and younger 6- to 9- year-olds 10- to 12- year-olds 13- to 17- year-olds Share of children, by age group 75% 67% 61% 65% 55% 49% 50 Tablet Smartphone 28% 25 26% 10% 5-year-olds and younger 6- to 9-year-olds 10- to 12-year-olds 13- to 17-year-olds Source: Harris Poll 'When I think about my child's experience growing up, I wish ___ had never been invented' 25 50% Mature online content 72% Guns 62 TikTok 62 X / Twitter 62 Snapchat 60 Alcohol 57 Instagram 56 Social media 55 Facebook 53 ChatGPT 45 Messaging apps 44 Smartphones 38 YouTube 34 Video games 33 Location sharing tools 26 Streaming services 20 Basic mobile phones 20 Large vehicles 19 Television 17 Newspapers 15 Radio 14 Bicycles 9 25 50% Mature online content 72% Guns 62 TikTok 62 X / Twitter 62 Snapchat 60 Alcohol 57 Instagram 56 Social media 55 Facebook 53 ChatGPT 45 Messaging apps 44 Smartphones 38 YouTube 34 Video games 33 Location sharing tools 26 Streaming services 20 Basic mobile phones 20 Large vehicles 19 Television 17 Newspapers 15% Radio 14% Bicycles 9% Source: Harris Poll Parents restricting their child's access to smartphones until they are around 14 years old Strongly support Somewhat support Strongly oppose Neither 33% 32 22 9 Somewhat oppose Parents restricting their child's access to social media until at least age 16 40 33 19 6 A law raising the minimum age for social media use to 16 from 13 39 31 20 8 Schools enforcing a bell-to-bell 'phone-free' policy 33 30 16 13 8 Parents restricting their child's access to smartphones until they are around 14 years old Strongly support Somewhat support Neither Strongly oppose 33% 32 22 9 Somewhat oppose Parents restricting their child's access to social media until at least age 16 40 33 19 6 A law raising the minimum age for social media use to 16 from 13 39 31 20 8 Schools enforcing a bell-to-bell 'phone-free' policy 33 30 16 13 8 Source: Harris Poll Want all of The Times? Subscribe.
Yahoo
08-06-2025
- Yahoo
15 'Ew...That Gave Me The Ick" Relationship Red Flags That Are Secretly Huge Green Flags
Red flag this, green flag that. When dating, people have so many characteristics they look for in a partner. Or more truthfully, traits they try to avoid. Sometimes, though, one person's red flag is another person's green flag. We asked the BuzzFeed Community for examples of things that, when dating, some might see as a reason for pause, but they see as a good thing. The responses were fascinating: Responses have been edited for length and clarity. 1."Not having social media. I have heard (and read on BuzzFeed) that 'not having any social media is a huge red flag for me.' WHY?! HOW?! So you're upset that you don't have to police their Instagram, Facebook/Messenger, TikTok, Snapchat, etc? My partner of six years only has Snapchat and literally has like 25 friends. They are 99% friends I have met, have mutual friends with, or are his family. It's a HUGE green flag that they don't give a crap about social media and what others think about his life/our life. It's OUR life, so why should anyone expect to see into it if you're not invited? I have social media only because it's how I communicate with family. He has full access, and I have full access to his phone, etc. Why? Because we trust each other. It's so nice having a partner who doesn't give a fuck about what others think of him as much as I don't give a fuck. If you think it's a red flag, you need to ask yourself why." —Anonymous, 36; Tennessee 2."Having a quirky or weird interest. That does not automatically make someone a weirdo or obsessive. For example, my husband has ADHD and tends to get very interested in a hobby or topic quickly and loves to geek out about it. Some of his interests are kind of out there. For example, he's 27 and LOVES Disney (especially the parks and movies), LOVES gardening, LOVES caring for our bearded dragon, LOVES working on his tank, and LOVES improving his life quality. A lot of other girls in college thought he was weird for his niche and intense interests, especially because he can be kind of shy and quiet. I was the only girl who gave him a chance. And I won the jackpot! He's caring, romantic, respects me, takes great care of me and our home, and he's wicked smart. Sure, he's quirky. Sure, he doesn't have typical 'masculine' hobbies. But he's a great guy, and I wish more people saw more for him than his quirks." —Anonymous, 25; Virginia 3."Not doing surprise gifts, dates, etc. Spontaneity and big gestures are highly romanticized, but they can often set both parties up for disappointment or unrealistic expectations. Communicating and involving your partner instead is a green flag for me. My partner and I like to discuss and plan fun ideas together. We go shopping for gifts together as well, so we get to pick out exactly what we like. It's so much more fun, and there is less pressure to like a gift or hope they like a gift. (And wastes less money)." —Anonymous, 30; Canada 4."Inserting himself into my college life. We currently go to different colleges, but he makes the effort to see me at my college because he wants to get to know my friends and new interests I've picked up. It's so, when I talk, he knows how to contribute to our conversations in a way that he understands what and who I'm talking about. Some people may see it as signs of insecurity or jealousy, but he truly wants to see the way I've been growing as a person now that I'm in college." —Anonymous, 18; New York 5."Online gaming. I've dated a couple of people I've met through online gaming. I know people tend to think that's a bad thing (to game a lot), but it requires communication and planning skills, especially when their gaming group includes people around the world." —Anonymous, 39; Phoenix, AZ 6."Not being close to their parents. It's great if your family is close. It's also absolutely okay if it's complicated, but sometimes it is better to cut ties with abusers or toxic people. I think it can be healthy to be no or low-contact, and it can protect partners and future children. It takes a lot of strength to break cycles." —Anonymous, 32; California 7."It's not toxic to have never dated someone before. Like, they're waiting for the truly right person to date." —Anonymous, 20; South Carolina 8."When people always respond with 'What do YOU want to do?' People find it weirdly annoying, but I think it just means they care about how you feel. I don't like it when people are like, 'What do you want to do?' 'Oh, I was thinking ice skating, then lunch at this restaurant, then a museum…' That just feels like they've been creepily putting this whole date together for months. No, thank you." —Anonymous 9."Not responding to texts quickly. My bf was sooooo slow to respond to texts when we first exchanged numbers. I thought he wasn't interested, but it turned out that he was not a very tech-savvy guy and had no interest in his phone. This makes dates great as we can converse for hours on end and away from screens. Our interactions are always genuine, and he's so thoughtful!" —Anonymous, 16; Oklahoma 10."Having girl friends as a man. It's not a red flag. It actually tells me women feel safe around you, and you can build a relationship with a woman other than a romantic one. So that means you don't see women only as objects for your pleasure. You actually see them as human beings you can interact with just like you do with other men." —Anonymous, 22; Romania 11."Not telling someone their WHOLE life story. The older I get, there are things people keep to themselves for a reason. Doesn't mean they don't trust you or you can't trust them. If it's significant enough, it will reveal itself. I am not going to force someone I am with to tell me everything if they're not comfortable doing so. That being said, if you don't communicate what is important to you for them to share about themselves, that is all on you." —witchysorcerer621 12."Not being a self-proclaimed nice guy. This might be specific to my relationship, but he straight up told me he was 'kind of an a**hole' on our first date and said he wasn't good with emotions. It was refreshing as hell, coming from seemingly endless dates with self-professed 'nice guys' who were anything but. Turns out he's not an asshole at all, and he's pretty damn good with emotions now. That first date was 15 years ago." —rakishrogue 13."A guy cooking, cleaning, and being able to do stereotypically 'female' stuff." —Anonymous, Maddi, USA 26 14."Being upfront about dating other people. It might seem like a red flag at first, but it's actually a green one. Honesty about where you stand shows emotional maturity and respect. It also sets the stage for clear communication when the time comes to discuss exclusivity — if and when both people are ready for that step." —Anonymous, 37; Mexico "On a blind or first date: I am totally OJ with small talk. People have all sorts of different levels and experiences when it comes to meeting with a person for the first time. Being nervous is OK, and not knowing what to say is OK." —sparklysalt40 Have examples of your own where a perceived red flag is actually a green flag? Let us know in the comments or through the anonymous form below!
