Who is your child's father figure?

Daily Maverick

02-07-2025

If you are a parent and haven't yet watched the Netflix short series Adolescence, you need to.
Besides the mind-jarring cinematic genius of the single-take approach to filming, the series has yet again brought into sharp focus the hidden influences (through technology) on our children. And, more importantly, their abject vulnerability to it.
I am fascinated by the fervour with which we debate the BELA Act, prioritising the preservation of our cultural heritage, whilst simultaneously ignoring the more fundamental need – the protection of our children. In this, we are singularly unified – but only in our impotence.
In a country where Gender Based Violence directly impacts one in five women, we have collectively abdicated responsibility for influencing our children to the algorithms.
Perhaps the best way to illustrate this is through an infamous example: the 'Will Smith slap'. At the time, public opinion was split as to the moral justification thereof. On the one hand, it is important for a man to defend the honour of his wife. On the other, such violence, under any circumstance, is unacceptable. Both sides had reasonable points of view, and the internet blew up with validations of each. Literally everyone and their dog had chosen a side and made their view public.
I remember reflecting on my own upbringing in contrast. Had such a public event occurred when I was a teenager, my dad would have brought it up eagerly at the dinner table that evening. We would have the opportunity to table our views, and he would then guide us on the moral side that our family subscribed to. Like most parents of the day, he had a knack for using news events to instil in us the moral compass that would ultimately guide us through life.
The problem with today's parenting is that by the time your child arrives at the dinner table their views have already been cemented by millions of unsolicited opinions given by thousands of unqualified thumbs. Preselected only for their ability to keep your child glued to their phone. And, like my father's guidance, these opinions leave an indelible mark on our children's character.
The tech giants have long since understood the power of this influence. At a time when most of us questioned the sense of Elon Musk's decision to buy Twitter, he knew that what he was actually buying was an influence algorithm. One, some would argue, that ultimately bought him the USA, albeit for a few million more in top-up 'campaign' spend.
For the Elon fans out there, this not an indictment of him alone. Zuckerberg, Bezos and Pichai before him have each wielded algorithmic influence over all of us, without any of us seeming to notice, let alone object.
There is a reason that the world is as polarised as it is today. And strangely, it's not because any of these tech giants have some deep hidden agenda to dominate the world. That would make sense. It's simply because their algorithms figured out that the best way to keep us on our phones is to irritate us slightly. The angrier you are, the more it knows what to send you next to keep you here. And, as a result, the world has descended into what it is today.
It is in this context that we give these algorithms access to our children.
In their most vulnerable, self-conscious phase of life, we hand them over to the influence of the Andrew Tates of the world. And now, with AI, these manipulative powers are supercharged. Meta, Gemini, OpenAI o1, Grok and others may not themselves have evil intent, they will just be much more efficient than the legacy algorithms that got us here. What's even more ominous is that they cannot be jailed or defamed in the way that Andrew Tate was.
So, what now? Unfortunately, I do not have a more creative answer than that of the Australian government. We need to ban smartphones and social media from being in the hands of our children. And if the state doesn't, we as parents must. We need to release those hands from the grips of the tech giants and place them in our own hands. We must take back the responsibility for moral guidance.
For society, the alternative will be to contemplate this important question: When the time comes, 'who will pay these pied pipers?'
By then, they would have already captured our children. DM