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Filler vs. action engine: ‘It came to pass' carries more weight than you think

Filler vs. action engine: ‘It came to pass' carries more weight than you think

Yahoo16-05-2025
This article was first published in the ChurchBeat newsletter. Sign up to receive the newsletter in your inbox each Wednesday night.
Like most believers, most Latter-day Saints learn early and often how to take a joke about their faith.
After all, Mark Twain made fun of the Book of Mormon in 1891, writing that if someone removed the phrase 'it came to pass' from that book of scripture, it 'would have been only a pamphlet.'
When Elder Quentin L. Cook was a young college student, a university professor that he enjoyed quoted that bit of Twain in class 'with great glee,' Elder Cook said recently at BYU Women's Conference.
In the footnotes of his talk, Elder Cook made some notable observations about Twain's words and how they are used against the Book of Mormon and believers.
'Each new generation is presented with Twain's comments as if it is a new significant discovery,' he wrote. 'There is usually little reference to the fact that Mark Twain was equally dismissive of Christianity and religion in general. When this kind of remark is done with humor, it is probably best to join in the amusement.'
Elder Cook's story didn't end in his college class. Months later, he was serving a mission in London, England, when he met an Oxford-educated teacher at London University who took a position opposite to Twain's.
Dr. Ebeid Sarofim was a native Egyptian and expert in Semitic languages who discovered the Book of Mormon by accident and sent a letter to President David O. McKay asking for baptism. When Sarofim met with missionaries, he told them that 'it came to pass' was part of his intellectual belief in the Book of Mormon because it mirrored the way he translated phrases commonly used in ancient Semitic writings, Elder Cook said.
The missionaries told him it was essential to have a spiritual testimony, too, Elder Cook said. The professor gained a spiritual witness and was baptized.
'So, what one famous humorist, Mark Twain ... saw as an object of ridicule, a scholar of Semitic languages recognized as profound evidence of the truth of the Book of Mormon which was confirmed to him by the Spirit,' Elder Cook said at Women's Conference.
That anecdote, which has a resolution I'll come back to, didn't fit in my original coverage of Elder Cook's talk, but it drove me to look at some of the research about 'it came to pass' over the past 60 years.
The first place I went was my copy of 'Charting the Book of Mormon,' which shows that 14% of all the instances of the phrase in the 1830 edition were in 1 Nephi. So, if 2 Nephi actually were the first book in the Book of Mormon, with far fewer instances (3.5%), would the phrase stick out as much to casual or first time readers like Twain?
Second, King James translators faced the same redundant phrase, which in Hebrew is ויְהִי (vay-yihi). It shows up about 1,200 times in the Hebrew Bible, which contains most of the Old Testament. Those British translators sometimes ignored it and regularly deployed a variety of expressions in its place, such as 'and,' 'and it became' or 'and it was,' according to the BYU Religious Studies Center.
Still, there are 727 examples of 'it came to pass' in the King James Version of the Old Testament, the RSC reported. You can find plenty of jokes online about all of those uses of the phrase in other faith traditions, too. (The best of all, in my estimation, is the use in the title of a book on BYU quarterbacks, 'And They Came to Pass.' Yes, I own that one, too.)
Of course, the same phenomenon happens in the New Testament. Just think of two famous instances in Luke 2:
'And it came to pass in those days, that there went out a decree from Cæsar Augustus, that all the world should be taxed.'
'And so it was, that, while they were there, the days were accomplished that she should be delivered.'
So, why was this Hebrew phrase so popular in Semitic writings in that age? Because it was 'an engine of narrative storytelling' in its day the same way quick visual cuts drive action movies today, BYU professor Taylor Halverson has noted.
In fact, Halverson says the phrase contains a deeper spiritual driver as a representation of Jesus Christ.
'It came to pass,' he says, is built on the same root word for God, Yahweh, the source of all things and the one who drives forward the narrative of each life.
'When we read 'it came to pass,'' Halverson writes, 'we see God's presence, his love, his concern, his energy, his knowledge, his direction, his guidance.'
That is certainly more challenges to Twain's suggestion that 'it came to pass' could be cut out without losing any meaning.
Elder Cook's underlying message for both of his anecdotes also pointed to deeper personal action.
'Dr. Sarofim's true account is interesting,' Elder Cook said, 'but I would suggest the best approach for gaining a testimony is to immerse ourselves in the Book of Mormon so we can repeatedly experience the ongoing witness of the Spirit.'
(Note: Similar to the KJV translation, the number of uses of 'it came to pass' was reduced in the Book of Mormon, too, between the 1830 and 1837 editions," according to Royal Skousen's work in 'History of the Text of the Book of Mormon.')
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Nun's skeleton reveals that some ancient women were extreme hermits
Nun's skeleton reveals that some ancient women were extreme hermits

National Geographic

time4 days ago

  • National Geographic

Nun's skeleton reveals that some ancient women were extreme hermits

Head of a holy woman, from a mosaic in Turkey. Photograph By Bridgeman Images Today the most extreme forms of devotion to God in Christianity involve tithing, abstaining from meat on Fridays and during Lent, taking religious orders and devoting oneself to a life of celibacy, and, perhaps, taking vows of poverty or even silence. All of these practices pale next to the forms of asceticism practiced in the Byzantine period, when the most dedicated monks isolated themselves from human contact in the desert, restricted their food and sleep, wrapped themselves in uncomfortable sore-inducing chains, and lived their lives on top of small pillars. Traditionally, the most hardcore ascetics were believed to have been men, but recent scholarly and archeological research has revealed that female monastics were equally devoted to self-mortification. In 1924, excavations at Khirbat el-Masaniʾ near Ramat Shlomo (in Israel) uncovered a Byzantine monastery dating to approximately 350–650 CE. Located just three kilometers northwest of Old Jerusalem, the monastery stood along one of the main roads leading from Jaffa and Lydda to the city. Among the tombs discovered at the site were the remains of an unidentified individual unusually wrapped in a metal chain. During the fifth century CE, as Christian monasticism was on the rise, the practice of self-chaining gained popularity among ascetics in Syria. Asceticism and bodily self-denial was seen as a way of emulating the suffering of Christ and drawing closer to God. At the time the tombs were excavated, it was widely believed that such ascetic practices were exclusive to men. So for nearly a century, scholars assumed this person had been male. However, a recent study employing advanced DNA analysis has revealed that the remains belonged to a woman. This would make this one of the first-ever archaeological finds of extreme asceticism among Byzantine women. (Eight things people get wrong about ancient Rome) Byzantine-style mosaic of the Garden of Eden, part of the Old Testament cycle from the Monreale Cathedral Mosaics in Palermo, Siciliy. The Latin inscription reads, MULIER SUGGESTIONI SERPENTIS TULIT DE FRUCTU ET COMEDIT DEDITQUE VIRO SUO ('At the serpent's suggestion, the woman picked the fruit and ate it, and gave it to the man.') Photograph By Ghigo Roli / Bridgeman Images Byzantine churches were often decorated with shimmering mosaics, portraying events from the life of Christ on their upper walls. This fragmentary head of Christ, with its caring expression, is probably from such a scene. Photograph By Gift of Mary Jaharis, in memory of her late husband, Michael, 2017, The Metropolitan Museum of Art A self-tormenting nun During the original excavation of Khirbat el-Masaniʾ, archaeologists uncovered two crypts containing scattered skeletal remains of multiple individuals—including children, women, and men. Based on the grave goods, burial context, and stratigraphy, these interments were dated to the fifth century CE. A third tomb, which held the highly fragmentary remains of the chained individual, was also discovered. At the time, the bones were too incomplete to determine the individual's sex or age at death. But this spring, a team of Israeli researchers, led by archeological scientists Dr. Paula Kotli from the Weizmann Institute of Science, finally pinned down an identity. By conducting a proteomic analysis on enamel obtained from the only tooth recovered from the tomb, the team determined that burial belonged to an adult aged between 30 and 60 years old at the time of their death. The results, published in the Journal of Archaeological Science, proved that the individual buried in chains in tomb three was actually a woman. As the authors note, 'the ascetic nun symbolizes a phenomenon of isolation, perhaps enclosure, and in extreme cases self-torment. This is the first evidence showing that the Byzantine self-torment ritual was performed by women and not exclusively by men.' The discovery marks a significant advance in the methods used to determine sex in fragmentary remains. Yet, evidence for asceticism among late antique women is more widespread than one might assume. (Christianity struggled to grow—until this skeptic became a believer) Detail of the 'Procession of Virgins' mosaics from the Basilica of Sant'Apollinare Nuovo in Ravenna, Byzantine School, 6th century. Photograph By Leemage/Corbis/Getty Images Dr. Caroline Schroeder, Professor of Women's and Gender Studies and Professor of Data Scholarship at the University of Oklahoma and author of several pioneering studies on monasticism, told National Geographic, 'in late antiquity and Byzantium, people of all genders engaged in a wide variety of ascetic practices. In Egypt in the fourth and fifth centuries we have irrefutable evidence from papyri, monastic letters, and episcopal writings for women who practiced asceticism in their family homes, in homes they themselves owned or rented, and in communities of women [monasteries].' In general, asceticism meant abstaining from sex (even if married), limiting one's food intake, withdrawing from the world, rigorous engagement with prayer, and a life of discomfort and seclusion. These practices were not limited to Egypt. In Syria, we have copious evidence documenting what might be considered more extreme forms of asceticism. Schroeder mentioned a ninth-century male monk who described a women's monastery he encountered where residents lived in seclusion as stylites. Stylites 'were monks who lived for years atop a tall pillar, often exposed to nature's elements and totally dependent upon people on the ground to provide them with food and water,' Schroeder explained. 'The most famous is the original stylite, Symeon the Elder, who lived on his pillar for 36 years, praying, doing prostrations and other exercises, and experiencing physical decay. People came from all over for his blessings, to hear his preaching, and also to request his judgments in disputes between individuals and political leaders.' Stylites were physically constrained by the pillars—they were not able to stretch out fully, there were no bathroom breaks (which caused quite a stench), and they were exposed to the elements—and they also survived on limited sustenance and without the comfort of companionship. Schroeder pointed out that 'a monastery with women stylites is evidence that some women practiced as physically rigorous and severe asceticism as men.' With respect to the new study of the chained woman from outside Jerusalem, Schroeder pointed to an example recorded by fifth-century CE theologian Theodoret of Cyrrhus in his Religious History. In this collection of saint's lives, Theodoret describes visiting two Syriac sisters, Marana and Cyra, who wore heavy iron rings and chains as a form of extreme self-denial. According to Theodoret, these women lived in a roofless house—that exposed them to the unforgiving elements—the door of which had been sealed with mud and stones so that they were shut off from the world and unable to leave. Small windows allowed for food and water to be passed to the women. (Schroeder told me that Theodoret says that, since he was a bishop, they allowed him to dig through the door to see them.) The women wore iron collars, iron belts, and chains on their hands and feet. Even though the two women were secluded from the world, they, like Symeon the Stylite, became ancient Christian celebrities. They attracted pilgrims who travelled to receive their blessing. Saint Donatus, priest and anchorite, from "Les Images De Tous Les Saincts et Saintes de L'Année" (Images of All of the Saints and Religious Events of the Year.) Print By Jacques Callot , The Metropolitan Museum of Art Gender is a complicating question when it comes to asceticism because some women dressed as men when they entered monasteries. Dr. Christine Luckritz Marquis, Associate Professor of Church History at Union Presbyterian Seminary and author of 'Better Off Dead? Violence, Women, and Late Ancient Asceticism,' said 'the reality is that we have many individuals who were trans saints. While some women might merely dress as male monks to safely practice asceticism among men, there is no reason to believe that others did not truly feel themselves trans monks. And some men were castrated, becoming eunuchs for God, so they too did not fit into a simple two-sex binary.' The more fluid gender categories were complicated by the ambivalent attitude that male religious leaders had toward women in general. For commentators like Theodoret, Schroeder added, ascetic women were 'a bit of a paradox… On the one hand, women were viewed as inherently weaker than men and also the gender that carried the guilt of Eve for breaking God's command in the Garden of Eden. But on the other hand, they were capable of such strenuous devotions and, when they achieved them, were seen as even extra holy for going beyond the expectations of their gender.' An anchorhold against the south wall of All Saints church in Norfolk, United Kingdom. Built circa 1500 CE, it would have housed an anchorite devoted to solitary prayer. Photograph By UrbanImages/ Alamy From late antiquity onwards, into the medieval period, women's asceticism persisted. Anchorites—men and women who walled themselves up in permanent enclosures in lifelong solitary confinement—became more common among European women. Many of them lived in small cells, known as anchorholds, that were attached to local churches. In German-speaking regions, bishops would say the office for the dead as the anchorite entered their cell as a symbol of the ascetic's death to the world. Though small windows allowed them a limited view of the church's altar and access to food, water and the Eucharist, anchorites took vows to remain in their cells. The eleventh-century hagiographer Goscelin of Saint-Bertin refers to several anchorites who burned—or came close to burning—alive when the towns in which they lived in were sacked or looted. Other women embraced physical suffering an illness. In her book Holy Feast and Holy Fast, Caroline Walker Bynum documents the centrality of pain and illness to the spiritual lives of late medieval women. For those women even self-inflicted illness was a way of drawing near to God. Bynum writes that 'some Italian saints drank pus or scabs from lepers' sores.' In the German Nonnenbücher, a fourteenth-century collection of inspirational spiritual biographies of nuns authored by women, the desire for illness was so strong that the sisters exposed themselves 'to bitter cold' and prayed 'to be afflicted with leprosy.' The late fourteenth century, French anchoress Jane Mary of Maillé, 'stuck a thorn into her head in remembrance of Christ's crown of thorns.' As late as the sixteenth century, an account of the life of St. Alda of Siena recalled that she slept on a bed of paving stones, whipped herself with chains, and wore a crown of thorns. 'Among the more bizarre female behaviors' in this period, writes Bynum, 'were rolling in broken glass, jumping into ovens, hanging from a gibbet, and praying upside down.' For modern readers the critical question is why late antique people would want to engage in these practices of self-punishment and self-effacement at all. Theodoret characterizes Marana and Cyra's ascetic devotion as a kind of spiritual athleticism. Schroeder explained that the women took on these goals 'on these challenging practices with joy, knowing that the 'goal' or prize of their contests is a 'crown of victory' and eternity with Christ their 'beloved.'' Luckritz Marquis agreed, saying that while there were many reasons that people practiced asceticism, the goal was 'ultimately to be closer to God.'

Christmas Decorations: A Timeless Tradition of Joy and Celebration
Christmas Decorations: A Timeless Tradition of Joy and Celebration

Time Business News

time6 days ago

  • Time Business News

Christmas Decorations: A Timeless Tradition of Joy and Celebration

Christmas is one of the most widely celebrated holidays around the world, and its festive spirit is unmistakably brought to life through dazzling decorations. From sparkling lights and evergreen trees to handcrafted ornaments and intricate nativity scenes, Christmas decorations are a cherished part of holiday traditions, embodying the warmth, generosity, and joy of the season. This article delves into the rich history of Christmas decorations, explores the various types and cultural influences, and discusses how modern trends are shaping the way we celebrate today. 1. The Origins of Christmas Decorations a. Pagan Roots and Winter Celebrations Before the advent of Christianity, many ancient civilizations celebrated winter solstice festivals. The Romans observed Saturnalia, a week-long celebration honoring Saturn, the god of agriculture. Homes were adorned with wreaths, garlands, and greenery like holly and ivy—symbols of eternal life. Similarly, Germanic tribes brought evergreen branches into their homes during the darkest days of winter to symbolize hope and renewal. These early customs laid the groundwork for many Christmas decoration traditions that followed. b. The Christian Influence As Christianity spread through Europe, many pagan customs were adapted into Christian traditions. By the 4th century, December 25 was designated as the birth of Jesus Christ. Over time, the symbols of eternal life (such as evergreens and candles) were reinterpreted to align with Christian theology—signifying the everlasting life offered by Christ and the light of the world. 2. The Evolution of the Christmas Tree a. From Pagan Symbol to Christian Tradition The Christmas tree is perhaps the most iconic decoration of the season. Its origins can be traced back to 16th-century Germany, where devout Christians brought decorated trees into their homes. Some built wooden pyramids and decorated them with evergreens and candles if wood was scarce. The tradition is often associated with Martin Luther, who is said to have added lighted candles to a tree to replicate the starry night sky. b. Spreading the Tradition By the 18th century, the Christmas tree tradition had spread across Europe. It was popularized in England by Prince Albert, husband of Queen Victoria, in the 1840s. A published engraving of the royal family around a decorated tree helped the tradition gain popularity in Britain and, soon after, in America. Today, Christmas trees range from real evergreens to artificial models in a variety of styles and colors, often personalized with ornaments, lights, ribbons, and themed decorations. 3. Types of Christmas Decorations Christmas decorations are diverse, each with unique symbolism and purpose. Here's a breakdown of the most common types: a. Christmas Lights Originally candles, Christmas lights were used to symbolize Christ as the light of the world. With the invention of electric lights by Thomas Edison and their adaptation to Christmas trees by Edward H. Johnson in 1882, the practice became safer and more widespread. Modern lights come in many forms: String lights LED light sculptures Projection lights Solar-powered outdoor lights b. Ornaments Christmas ornaments add beauty and personalization to trees and homes. They range from traditional glass baubles and handcrafted figurines to heirlooms and DIY creations. Common themes include: Angels Stars Snowflakes Santas Animals Family photo ornaments c. Wreaths and Garlands Wreaths, typically made of evergreen branches, are hung on doors and walls to represent eternal life. Garlands, made of similar materials, adorn staircases, mantels, and doorways. They may be enhanced with berries, pinecones, ribbons, and lights. d. Stockings Rooted in the legend of St. Nicholas, Christmas stockings are hung on mantels for Santa to fill with small gifts. They are often personalized and come in a variety of fabrics and themes. e. Nativity Scenes These religious displays depict the birth of Jesus Christ with figures of Mary, Joseph, baby Jesus, the Three Wise Men, shepherds, and animals. Nativity scenes are an important symbol of the religious significance of Christmas, especially in Christian households. f. Advent Calendars and Wreaths Advent decorations help countdown to Christmas Day. Calendars reveal a small gift, chocolate, or message for each day, while Advent wreaths hold four candles lit weekly leading up to Christmas. 4. Cultural Variations in Christmas Decorations Different cultures have their own unique Christmas decoration styles, reflecting their traditions, values, and climate. a. Europe Germany : Known for intricate wooden decorations like nutcrackers and smokers, and beautifully crafted glass ornaments. : Known for intricate wooden decorations like nutcrackers and smokers, and beautifully crafted glass ornaments. Sweden : Incorporates straw goats (Julbock), stars, and candle-lit windows. : Incorporates straw goats (Julbock), stars, and candle-lit windows. Italy: Focuses heavily on nativity scenes (presepi), often elaborate and displayed throughout homes and towns. b. Latin America Countries such as Mexico celebrate with colorful piñatas, poinsettias (native to the region), and vibrant street decorations. 'Las Posadas' processions often include lanterns and nativity-themed décor. c. United States and Canada A mix of traditions from around the world, with an emphasis on indoor/outdoor lighting displays, inflatable lawn decorations, and personalized ornaments. d. Asia In countries like Japan and the Philippines, where Christians are minorities, decorations are often commercial and festive. The Philippines features 'parol' lanterns, a unique and beautiful tradition symbolizing the Star of Bethlehem. 5. Outdoor Decorations: Bringing the Festivities Outside Modern Christmas celebrations often extend beyond the interiors of homes. Outdoor decorations have grown in popularity, with entire neighborhoods transforming into glowing wonderlands. Common outdoor décor includes: Lighted reindeer and sleighs Inflatable Santas and snowmen Candy cane pathway lights Roof and window light outlines Projectors displaying snowflakes or holiday messages In some regions, decorating homes has become a friendly competition, with contests for the best light displays. 6. DIY and Sustainable Christmas Decorations As interest in sustainability grows, more people are turning to eco-friendly and DIY decorations. These options allow for creativity, reduce waste, and add a personal touch to holiday decor. a. Natural Decorations Dried orange slices Cinnamon sticks and star anise Pinecones Twigs and evergreen branches Homemade wreaths and garlands b. Recycled Materials Upcycled ornaments from old holiday cards Paper snowflakes Fabric scraps turned into bows or tree skirts Glass jars as candle holders c. Minimalist Decor Minimalism in holiday decor emphasizes simplicity and natural beauty. Neutral color palettes, fewer decorations, and handmade touches reflect a desire for slower, more intentional celebrations. 7. The Role of Commercialization With the rise of mass production and global trade, Christmas decorations have become a multibillion-dollar industry. Stores start selling decorations as early as October, and every year sees new trends in color schemes, themes, and technology. Popular commercial trends include: Themed trees (e.g., rustic farmhouse, glam gold, Nordic) Smart lighting systems controllable by apps Customizable projection and animation displays Collectible ornament series from popular franchises While commercialization has made decorating more accessible and exciting, many people still cherish the emotional value of traditional and handmade items. 8. Decorating as a Family Tradition For many households, decorating for Christmas is a treasured family ritual. Unpacking the same ornaments each year becomes a nostalgic experience, with stories tied to each piece. Children may help string lights, hang stockings, or place the star on the tree. Families often play music, drink hot cocoa, and share laughs while decorating—creating lifelong memories. This ritual reinforces the emotional importance of the holiday season: connection, joy, and giving. 9. Public Displays and Community Celebrations Beyond individual homes, communities also join in the festive spirit with public decorations. City centers, malls, churches, and town squares often go all out to celebrate the season. Some popular public decorations include: Giant Christmas trees (e.g., Rockefeller Center in New York) Ice skating rinks surrounded by twinkling lights Light festivals and holiday parades Church displays and live nativity scenes These displays foster a sense of community and celebration, bringing people together regardless of their personal beliefs. 10. The Psychological and Emotional Impact of Decorations Psychologists suggest that decorating for Christmas can have positive emotional effects. The festive colors, lights, and symbols can trigger happy memories, reduce stress, and create a sense of comfort and excitement. Studies have shown that early decorators often report feeling happier and more nostalgic, especially when connected to childhood traditions. In a world that can often feel fast-paced and stressful, Christmas decorations serve as a reminder to pause, reflect, and celebrate. Conclusion Christmas decorations are far more than just festive embellishments—they are symbols of history, culture, memory, and emotion. From their ancient roots to modern innovations, they continue to evolve while maintaining their power to bring joy and warmth. Whether you're drawn to traditional nativity scenes, minimalist Scandinavian style, or a fully decked-out, glowing lawn display, Christmas decorations reflect the spirit of the season and the values that matter most: love, togetherness, and hope. TIME BUSINESS NEWS

Opinion: Divided by faith — but still united as parents
Opinion: Divided by faith — but still united as parents

Yahoo

time6 days ago

  • Yahoo

Opinion: Divided by faith — but still united as parents

Religious differences can feel like the deepest of divides. For Utah families going through divorce or separation, that divide can become even more painful when it shows up in co-parenting decisions — around holidays, modesty, dating, Sunday routines, or whether and when a child will be baptized. We know this because we see it every day in our therapy practices. We're colleagues and friends from different faith backgrounds — one of us is Jewish, the other a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. As therapists specializing in divorce and co-parenting, we've worked with hundreds of Utah families and seen how religious divides can either deepen conflict or invite growth. In Utah, where faith often plays a central role in family life, it's not uncommon for one parent to remain active in their religion while the other leaves the tradition — or embraces a new one. When this happens, both parents often feel fear: fear that their child won't share their values, or that the other parent will influence them in ways they can't control. But here's what we've learned: it is possible to co-parent well across religious differences. Doing so requires three things — clarity, compassion and commitment. We encourage co-parents to stay grounded in their core values, while staying flexible about how those values are expressed across two households. A key part of this is distinguishing between exposure to different beliefs and indoctrination. Children are more perceptive than we sometimes give them credit for. They can understand that people see the world differently, and they can learn to navigate those differences if they feel emotionally safe. Rather than seeing every disagreement as a battle, look for shared values — like honesty, kindness, respect, service or caring for one's body. When parents can identify and affirm what they agree on, it becomes easier to manage what they don't. It's normal to worry about your co-parent's influence. But children are shaped over time by many factors — not just by what happens at one parent's house. Attempts to control what your child is exposed to often backfire, making your own values seem rigid or fearful. A more effective approach is to live your values authentically, and trust that your child will be shaped by love, not pressure. You don't have to agree with your co-parent's faith — or lack of it — to treat it with respect. What matters most is how you talk about it in front of your child. Kids are always listening. When they hear parents speak about each other with respect, even in disagreement, they tend to feel more secure and confident in forming their own beliefs. Compassion doesn't mean staying silent. It means expressing your values without attacking the values of others. It's the difference between saying, 'I don't want you being brainwashed,' and, 'We believe different things, and I trust you to ask thoughtful questions as you grow.' Even when religious paths diverge, effective co-parents find common ground in the bigger picture: raising children who are kind, capable and resilient. You might disagree on the 'how,' but agreeing on the 'why' can be a powerful starting point. When parents agree on the values they want to instill, the conversation shifts from control to collaboration. And when that feels impossible, a neutral mental health professional — such as a therapist trained in divorce and co-parenting — can help identify what's getting in the way, offer strategies and support you in moving forward. We know this isn't easy. Co-parenting across religious differences isn't a theoretical exercise — it's deeply personal. It can stir up old wounds, grief, fears and the strong desire to protect your child's spiritual well-being. But time and again, we've seen what's possible when parents keep their focus on their child — not just in words, but in actions. Kids can grow up between two homes, with two belief systems, and still feel whole. They can learn that love doesn't require agreement. That faith can look different from one house to another. That they are free to ask questions and explore. And most importantly, that they are deeply loved by both parents. So whether you're divorcing or staying in your marriage but feeling the strain of religious differences, know this: your child doesn't have to grow up caught in the middle. Support is available. With the right mindset and guidance, it's possible to turn conflict into collaboration — and raise strong, thoughtful, resilient kids, even when you and your co-parent see the world differently.

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