‘I'm with you, mate': Days after Rob's son drowned, so too did Adrian's daughter

The Age

09-07-2025

Rob Maniscalco, 44, lost his 15-year-old son, Lachie, in an accident last year. Days later, 10-year-old Tegan – daughter to Adrian Chen, 49 – died in similar circumstances. Introduced by a friend, the pair have formed a deep bond.
Rob: Lachie died on January 14, 2024, in a drowning accident in Yamba [on the NSW North Coast] while he was on holiday with some close family friends. Eleven days later, Adrian and his family were at a national park in New Zealand when Tegan drowned. Our families didn't know each other, but a mutual friend suggested we meet – to be around other people who knew what we were going through.
Adrian and Deb visited us – me and my wife, Liz – at our home a week after Tegan's funeral. They stayed for about five hours. We were all in the same state of shock and horror and there were a lot of tears. Adrian wanted to hear about our family and our story; he was a great listener and very patient with us while we talked about Lachie. We felt an instant connection. I've never hugged anyone for so long I've known for so short a time.
We started catching up weekly as couples after that and, quickly, Adrian and I formed this close relationship. If we didn't speak for a couple of days, I'd get a message from him checking in to see how I was doing. After seeing him, I felt energised – uplifted even.
We'd meet for yum cha in Rhodes [in Sydney] and would just sit and talk until the restaurant kicked us out; we didn't even notice the staff impatiently side-eyeing us. It was as if the whole world disappeared. We could talk freely about our kids, laughing about things they'd said or done, about the people they were becoming. Every time, I'd walk away feeling liberated and at peace; I'd been heard by him.
'To have Adrian, who's going through the same experience at the same time, is just a blessing. I have someone I can trust.'
Rob Maniscalco
I was raised Catholic and have questioned my faith over the years, but have now become very spiritual. Adrian's background is also Christian, but he's a rationalist. I've started seeing signs.
Lachie loved golf – it was his sport. I'll say, 'Lachie, I need a sign,' then trip over a golf ball walking through the park. Sometimes, when Adrian's talking about Tegan, I can feel her in the room with us. I hesitated to bring this up with him but, when I did, he just said, 'Rob, I want to hear from her. If you can feel her energy, tell me.' I know a lot of people think this stuff is woo-woo, but he's open to hearing what I have to say, despite being a very practical thinker.
Don't get me wrong: it's a battle. I cry every day. But when I'm struggling, the first thing I think is, 'I've got to call Adrian.' Friends I've had for 30 years are devastated for us, of course, but they don't truly understand. To have Adrian, who's going through the same experience at the same time, is just a blessing. I have someone I can trust. I'll tell him how I'm feeling about certain things and he says, 'I understand. I'm with you, mate.' I see him as a brother and, as time goes on, I only feel more comfortable around him. He'll always be in my life.