Divorced People Are Sharing Huge "Red Flags" They Ignored Before Getting Married, And It's Eye-Opening
1."I enjoyed my time away from him more than time with him. I would get super depressed when I knew he was going to be home from work soon. I brushed it off as being 'antisocial' or 'independent.'"
"But now, I'm with someone who I'm still excited to see every single day after seven years, and I'm still antisocial and independent."
—Snukes42Q
2."The shaking and drops of sweat rolling off me everywhere, even my legs, right before the 'I do.' Also telling, when the officiant had us say vows, '...and fidelity...' he repeated, 'infidelity.' Turns out, he was cheating the whole time lol. My life is better now."
—None
3."I married my first wife extremely quickly. She wanted to get married; I didn't want to break up. The day of my wedding, my friends asked me how I was feeling, and my response was, 'Well, I can always get divorced.' Don't settle. Marry someone you truly love and can see spending your life with. That you'll still want to hang out with when you're both old, fat, and infirm."
"I'm remarried, and it makes all the world of difference. When you're with the right person, you know it. If you don't know it, you probably aren't with the right person."
—Bizzle_worldwide
4."Felt like I was going to vomit every time I thought about the wedding. I didn't care about planning it. Let my friends pick everything, including my dress. Sobbed at my bachelorette party. Tried to runaway-bride-it the day of the wedding. I was 21 and felt trapped. I should have listened to my dad."
—Dazed-andconfused
5."Bad credit. I knew hers wasn't good, but I didn't realize HOW bad it was until after we married. I mean RIGHT after. When we showed up, with all of our things in a moving truck, the apartment community manager wouldn't give us our key because she had a vehicle repo on her credit that she didn't mention. I had to call my parents from their office, have them wire the money to the bank, and wait for confirmation before we could move in."
"She also lost it on the person behind the deli counter at the grocery store because her 'quarter pound of sliced turkey was one slice over; she asked for a quarter pound and she wanted a quarter pound.' We made it 50 weeks. She called me from her boyfriend's house while I was visiting her parents (had her 6-year-old with me) to tell me she had spent the night with him. I rented a truck, got my dad and some friends together, drove to our place, and emptied it to the bare walls."
—kellydean1
6."We were together for almost 10 years and married for just over one. We were the textbook high school sweethearts from the outside, but no one saw behind closed doors. When we got married, he changed. Suddenly, he could demand anything of me because I was his wife — like an object, something to be owned. When any problems we had came up, and when I tried to fix them, I was met with, 'Well, you married me like this,' with no effort to change."
"It took the death of someone very close to me for me to open my eyes and see our relationship for what it was. I asked for space, and he [became very abusive.] I had completely mentally checked out by this point and just wanted him to leave me alone. It took him to be arrested for assault twice and a restraining order for him to get the message and to finally leave me in peace. Suddenly, I wasn't being controlled anymore. Never settle for someone so selfish and unwilling to work with you."
—sherlockwench
7."TLDR: Listen to your family and friends. My friends and family warned me that my ex wasn't good for me. I ignored them for six years on and off with her until we finally got married. It took me four months of being married to realize they had been right all along. It wasn't one specific event that made me realize; I just slowly understood that I wasn't happy. It was one of the wildest things I've experienced. Six years of thinking she was the woman I'd spend my life with, and it only took four months of marriage for me to wake up to how unhappy she made me."
"The real kicker was that looking back, I don't think I was ever actually in love with her. According to my family/friends, I always try to 'fix the broken people' without regard for my own feelings, and they saw that's what I was doing well before I did. As a guy, I carried the stigma that I couldn't be on the receiving end of abuse. But if there was ever proof (for me) that a guy can truly be emotionally abused, it was my relationship with her."
—Thatdude878787
8."I was on bed rest while pregnant with our son, due to preterm labor (five months). I was told no sex as that could start the labor again. Even though we were living together and engaged, and the child was his, he decided that since I was not putting out, under doctor orders, that it was not considered cheating to have sex with a 19-year-old. We were married for 15 years, and he never would agree that he cheated. It was 'my fault' for withholding."
—Cygnus875
9."When they lie about small, seemingly insignificant things, but often. If they can lie about something small, but often, they definitely can lie when it's something big. Small example: I met my ex-wife's friend, and she introduced her as her sister. No problem with this, except when her 'sister' needs to borrow money and whatnot. Didn't even find out she wasn't her sister until years into the marriage."
—savemoney2121
10."Before we got married, his mom said, 'If you ever get divorced, we will know it was because of him and not you.' Huge red flag, and all I thought was, 'Wow, what a mean thing to say about your own son!'"
—dragonheartstring1
11."I was beginning to come home, and I'd be alone. I'd wake up, and I'd be alone. I'd have a few days off in a row, and she was always out with her friends. The majority of her friends were men. I'd think nothing of it because I thought, 'My wife can have friends that aren't mine, and I trust her around men. I don't want to be a controlling husband.' She'd always be angry with me about anything. She'd yell all the time."
"She always talked badly about her own family behind their backs (they were very nice to me). She'd always compare our relationship to her sister's and her husband's relationship (very jealous)."
—Market0
12."I had a gut feeling that I was marrying the wrong person, as I was walking down the aisle."
—RonSwansonsOldMan
13."One of my friends is getting divorced after less than a year because of how awful this person was and showed their true colors after the marriage, but with subtle signs at the beginning. After he proposed, he immediately told her that most of her friends and coworkers (mostly the attractive ones) made him 'uncomfortable' and told her to cut off contact. When she said no, he would make threads on Reddit and other websites asking for advice, and all the anonymous internet people agreed with him, and he would show her the posts of random people calling her a bad person for not wanting to cut out close friends."
"He became super controlling and would even ask her to weigh herself so that he could make sure she wasn't gaining weight, so that he could stay attracted to her. She FINALLY left this garbage human after a pregnancy scare. She's reconnecting with people, too, but many of those friendships are lost. If a person demands you to cut off your support system, they are not worth it."
—Prannke
14."My mom's eighth ex-husband apparently ignored the red flag of how many times she's been married. Ex-husband nine ignored them, too."
—totally_boring
15."He always wanted me to take control of things. I thought it was endearing at first, but then I found out he's incapable of doing anything on his own — and I mean, anything. One time, he called to tell me the cat poop on the floor (I was at work) and asked what to do. GET IT UP??!! What a waste of three years."
—NeverStickEmTwice
16."A few friends who knew her told me, 'Don't do it. She's a liar.' In hindsight, they were totally right."
—tank_of_happiness
And finally...
17."I literally didn't see the 'red flags' because the opportunity wasn't there. I never saw him live alone. He spent most of our late teens and early 20s living with my twin brother and roommates, and I moved in after that. The house (and his apartment with my brother before that) was always clean enough. Every once in a while, I'd see him doing dishes or cleaning up. Once we got married, I realized that he did nothing. He did no housework. My brother told me to tell him what to do. I did, and he'd occasionally do it, but I couldn't follow him around and make sure he always picked up after himself! So, especially as roommates started moving out, the house became a mess."
"Then, the baby was born, and again, he was very little help. He would play with the kid and occasionally change diapers, but all the extra dishes, laundry, shopping (with the baby in tow, of course), and cleaning were my responsibility, along with all the feedings. Soon, to his detriment, I realized, 'I could do this on my own, and it would actually be less work.' That wasn't the only problem in our marriage, but it was the big one."
—insertcaffeine
Note: Some responses have been edited for length and/or clarity.
Wow. If you've gone through a divorce, what were the "red flags" from the beginning that you now recognize looking back? Tell us in the comments, or use this anonymous form below.
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21 minutes ago
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Moisture removal: As the warm air continues to flow, water evaporates from the food and slowly reduces its moisture content, which can take anywhere from a few hours to over a day, depending on what you're drying and at what temperature. Preservation: Once dried, food becomes less hospitable to bacteria, giving it a longer shelf life without the need for preservatives or refrigeration. Presto 06301 Dehydro Digital Electric Food Dehydrator The Presto expandable dehydrator is a smart, space-saving appliance with intuitive controls and athe bility to dry everything from apple chips to basil. Although I'm not a fan of the plastic build, it's a solid, budget-friendly pick — especially for beginners or those with limited storage space. The Presto 06301 Dehydro Digital Electric Food Dehydrator immediately stood out for its expandable build and affordable price point. 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The buttons looked and felt a bit old-school to me now that I'm spoiled with digital touchscreens; however, it still got the job done. And like the Cosori, it shuts off automatically once the timer ends to prevent over-drying, which is especially helpful when processing more delicate ingredients like strawberries. The package also comes with two fruit roll sheets and two flexible, nonstick mesh screens, which allow for drying a range of food types, like blended fruit purées or chopped herbs. All trays and the cover are dishwasher safe, which made cleanup refreshingly easy, but again, they are all plastic. As much as I loved the space-saving Presto, I wasn't completely sold on the plastic construction. While the lightweight build and stackable design make it convenient and space-efficient, I found it less sturdy and less visually appealing than the stainless steel models I tested. Still, the Presto 06301 stands out for its efficient drying performance, compact storage and user-friendly features. For beginners or those short on counter space, it's a strong, well-priced option for diving into the world of food dehydration. Hamilton Beach Digital Food Dehydrator Similar to the Presto, the Hamilton Beach dehydrator has space-saving stackable trays and an easy-to-use panel. I appreciated the BPA-free trays that provide plenty of drying space, but I prefer a stainless steel unit. Either way, it's well-suited for everything from beef jerky and dried fruit to veggie chips and herbs. Like most other dehydrators I tested, the Hamilton Beach is a compact, efficient machine that makes it easy to create homemade snacks with no added sugar or preservatives. With five stackable, BPA-free trays and a uniquely rounded-rectangular build, it's well-suited for everything from jerky and dried fruit to chips and herbs. I found the digital controls to be straightforward and precise, especially on a sleek touchscreen. You can also set the temperature anywhere from 100 to 160 degrees Fahrenheit to match the food you're dehydrating, and once again, a built-in timer saves the day. It counts down from 1 to 48 hours and shuts off automatically, which is helpful for longer drying cycles when you don't want to constantly monitor it. Powered by a 500-watt base-mounted heater and quiet fan, the dehydrator delivers consistent, even airflow across all trays, so I didn't need to rotate my fragile dried fruits during use. After a seven-hour drying cycle, I found that the Hamilton Beach dried everything evenly, from apple slices to kiwis, without soggy spots. It also includes a mesh screen for more delicate food items (like herbs), and comes with a solid fruit leather tray for blended purées. The vented clear lid was a nice touch, too, since I could monitor the drying process without interrupting the airflow. And since the trays are all plastic, cleanup was simple: the trays and lid are dishwasher safe. Overall, the design looked and felt standard and compact, with nonslip silicone feet to keep it stable on the counter. Tinier than some gargantuan food dehydrators on the market, it also stores easily in a pantry and can fit comfortably under most kitchen cabinets. Cuisinart DHR-20P1 Food Dehydrator Perhaps the biggest and bulkiest food dehydrator I tested, the Cuisinart DHR-20P1 Food Dehydrator makes a statement. Although it offers a spacious and powerful solution for preserving everything from fruits to jerky, it also takes up the most room at a whopping 9.6 pounds, all without a timer. Talk about a powerhouse appliance. With 552 square inches of drying surface and a 620-watt motorized fan, this dehydrator delivers fast, efficient airflow to evenly dry food across five interlocking, stackable trays. All that to say, this hefty appliance was not expandable, meaning some of my thicker fruit slices wound up getting smashed between trays. Because of the rigid build (and thicker fruit slices), I noticed it was harder for heat to circulate. I also wasn't a fan of the adjustable thermostat with four settings: fan only, low, medium and high. I also felt a timer was missing, and would have preferred a panel or even a button to give me peace of mind. Nevertheless, I appreciated the interlocking trays that felt sturdier in place than other dehydrators I tested. Its range of temperature options made it versatile to dry a variety of foods, from apple slices to banana chips. The included fruit roll sheet added extra versatility for those who want to experiment with blended fruit purées as well. I do want to note that the fan runs quite loudly, so keep this in mind if you want something quiet. Like other dehydrators, the trays stack vertically, making it ideal for batch-drying large quantities of food. This helps reduce food waste and saves money on pricy, preservative-free snacks in the long run. If you want a durable, mid-sized dehydrator with solid power, capacity and control, this is a decent option. So long as you have a separate kitchen timer handy. The following questions were answered by LP O'Brien, award-winning mixologist and current Global Creative Director of Beverage of F1 Arcade. How long does food that has been dehydrated by a food dehydrator last? How long does food that has been dehydrated by a food dehydrator last? 'When properly dehydrated and stored in airtight containers, most dehydrated foods can last. anywhere from 6 months to a year. Low-moisture fruits and vegetables tend to last longer, especially if kept in cool, dark conditions.' What is the difference between freeze drying and dehydrating? What is the difference between freeze drying and dehydrating? 'Dehydrating uses heat and air to remove about 90–95% of moisture, while freeze drying uses a freezing and vacuum process to remove up to 99% of moisture. Freeze-dried foods often retain more of their original shape, flavor and nutritional value, but dehydrating is more accessible and energy efficient for everyday use.' For this article, we consulted the following expert for their professional insights. LP O'Brien is an award-winning Afro-Boricua mixologist. She won Netflix's 'Drink Masters' and is currently the Global Creative Director of Beverage of F1 Arcade. CNN Underscored's writers and editors thoroughly review all the products in our testing guides and provide full transparency about how we test them. We have a skilled team of writers and editors with many years of product testing experience who ensure each article is carefully edited and products are properly vetted. We include subject matter experts where necessary and always speak about the pros and cons of all tested products. For this article, associate testing writer Carolina Gazal spent hours slicing and drying fruits and analyzing features of different kinds of food dehydrators. Gazal loves to get her hands on the latest kitchen craze and has tested all types of appliances, from the best blenders to the best coffee grinders and even the best ice molds for cocktails.
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Portions of Catoctin Mountain Park to close this weekend — here's what to know
Portions of Catoctin Mountain Park will close starting at 2 p.m. on Friday, July 18. According to a community announcement, closures will last until approximately 8 p.m. on Sunday, July 20. All trails, parking lots and public use areas will remain open. However, Park Central Road will be closed between the Hog Rock Parking Lot and the Camp Greentop entrance. For more information, call 301-663-9388 or go to This story was created by Janis Reeser, jreeser@ with the assistance of Artificial Intelligence (AI). Journalists were involved in every step of the information gathering, review, editing and publishing process. Learn more at The Herald-Mail is growing its local news: Send your news to us This article originally appeared on The Herald-Mail: Weekend closure at Catoctin Mountain Park could affect your visit Solve the daily Crossword
