My 10-year-old daughter refuses to go to school — the ‘stressful' diagnosis that keeps her at home
Sarah would wake up, get dressed in her uniform, and pack her lunch. But by the time she reached the stairs, she'd collapse.
Advertisement
The 10-year-old's body would shut down, physically unable to walk out the door.
'I didn't realize how traumatic it was for her to keep going to school,' her mom, Lauren, told Kidspot.
'She wants to be like everybody else, but she's constantly going into fight-or-flight.'
'We're made to feel like it's our fault'
3 The 10-year-old's body would shut down, physically unable to walk out the door.
fizkes – stock.adobe.com
Advertisement
Sarah has been diagnosed with level two autism and has a PDA (Pathological Demand Avoidance) profile.
Her struggle with school began in Term 2, 2024. What started as anxiety and sensory overload quickly escalated into daily meltdowns and explosive behaviors.
Sarah hasn't set foot in a classroom since May. In the month leading up to that, she only managed six school days. Each one following hours of emotional turmoil.
'She was sometimes okay once she got to school, but gradually over the year the mask did sort of slip,' she said.
Advertisement
'You don't really realize what's happened until they get home and they're throwing school bags and throwing shoes and all of that stress kind of builds up and accumulates in the nervous system.'
Sarah was triggered by unpredictable changes, sensory overwhelm from noise and busyness, and the pressure to meet a strict schedule. Even her uniform could bring on stress.
'If the plans change… like it might just be because the teacher's out sick and then you've got a substitute that you don't know about—like things like that are really stressful,' Lauren explained.
They attempted a school that claimed to cater for children with autism, but things didn't go the way the single mom had hoped.
Advertisement
Despite reduced classes, a relaxed uniform policy, and a modified attendance plan allowing Sarah to attend just two days a week, it was still too overwhelming.
3 Sarah has been diagnosed with level two autism and has a PDA (Pathological Demand Avoidance) profile.
Evgeniya Sheydt – stock.adobe.com
'Some weeks she just couldn't do it,' Lauren said.
'Even though we agreed to the plan, it didn't mean we could actually make it happen.'
Then came the formal warning.
'They sent me a letter saying, 'You haven't been able to stick to this modified attendance plan… the next step is to report you,'' she explained.
'It was really unkind and unhelpful.'
She felt a deep sense of blame.
Advertisement
'We're made to feel like it's our fault. That we're doing something wrong. That it's our parenting,' she pointed out.
'By blaming us you're just making the situation worse. You're just stressing out parents more when we're already stressed.'
School refusal isn't a new issue, but it's getting worse for families across Australia.
Psychologist Tanya Forster has seen it often across the 15 years of her career.
Advertisement
'We know that the traditional school system has not always kept up with the inclusive needs of students today. Maybe it is time for a rethink?' Tanya told Kidspot.
'The good news is that there are so many practical strategies that families can use. The first step is really understanding what is happening for your child and what factors might be contributing so you can figure out the best response.'
'School wasn't accessible to her'
3 She hopes that Sarah can use the period of homeschooling to reconnect with herself and her interests.
fizkes – stock.adobe.com
Lauren made the decision that home school was the best option going forward.
Advertisement
'My daughter wasn't feeling comfortable at school. She was feeling stressed and overwhelmed. School wasn't accessible to her,' Lauren said.
She hopes that Sarah can use the period of homeschooling to reconnect with herself and her interests.
'This period of homeschooling or being at home is really about letting her discover who she is and what she's drawn to and what she's interested in,' Lauren explained.
Advertisement
Lauren hasn't completely dashed her hopes on seeing Sarah back in a school class setting.
'I would like her to attempt to go back to school or attempt to go to high school. We just need that to be navigated in the right way,' Lauren said.
Try Our AI Features
Explore what Daily8 AI can do for you:
Comments
No comments yet...
Related Articles
Business Journals
20 hours ago
- Business Journals
A mother's path from patient to women's health advocate
When Lauren Burrow walked into her 20-week prenatal ultrasound appointment in March 2022, she had no idea that a routine scan would change the course of her pregnancy — and her career — forever. Lauren, a mother of two at the time, was preparing to welcome her third child. Having already experienced two cesarean births; she was receiving prenatal care with Dr. Laura Pekman at Atrium Health Women's Care Charlotte OB-GYN. Things were progressing normally, until a routine anatomy scan raised some concerns. To take a closer look, Pekman referred Lauren to Dr. Jennifer Philips at Atrium Health Women's Care Maternal Fetal Medicine, who confirmed a serious diagnosis: placenta accreta spectrum (PAS), a serious condition where the placenta grows too deeply into the uterine wall. Lauren's ultrasound revealed both placenta previa — where the placenta covers the cervix —and placenta percreta, the most severe form of PAS, in which the placenta penetrates through the uterus. 'Placenta accreta spectrum disorders used to be very rare, about 1 in 2,000 pregnancies, but we're now seeing them in about 1 in 500,' Philips says. 'It can be life-threatening if not caught early, which is why continuity of care and timely referrals, like Lauren's, are so critical.' expand Navigating a high-risk pregnancy Lauren hadn't experienced any symptoms, so the diagnosis came as a surprise. When she learned she had PAS, she took precautions like pelvic rest and lifting restrictions to minimize complications. At seven months pregnant, a sudden bleeding episode sent Lauren to the hospital for a five-day stay, where a specialized team worked around the clock to ensure both mother and baby were safe. 'The hardest part wasn't the physical challenges. It was the emotional weight, the unknowns,' Lauren says. 'But the entire team was incredibly sensitive and reassuring. They helped me feel supported and prepared.' A team effort Knowing the risks, Lauren's obstetric team developed a specialized delivery plan. At 35 weeks, Lauren underwent a cesarean hysterectomy, the removal of the uterus at the time of cesarean delivery of the baby, the standard and safest treatment for severe PAS cases. A treatment that saved Lauren's life as she welcomed her new, beautiful baby daughter. Dr. Melissa Woolworth at Atrium Health Myers Park OB-GYN, director of complex delivery planning and placenta accreta center of excellence, performed Lauren's surgery, with Pekman assisting. This approach allowed her to remain in the care of her trusted physician while benefiting from the specialized expertise of Atrium Health's PAS team. 'Lauren's surgery was quite challenging due to the placenta percreta. But with our carefully curated protocol in place, we were able to complete the operation without complications,' Woolworth said. Philips adds, 'She didn't require a blood transfusion, which is quite rare for this condition. This goes to show that her surgical team did an exceptional job.' Lauren's recovery, however, wasn't easy. 'It was much tougher physically than my previous c-sections,' Lauren says. 'And emotionally, I was working through birth trauma and the loss of fertility. Even though a hysterectomy had been my plan, facing that reality was still hard.' As she healed, Lauren leaned on the support of her care team — not just for her physical recovery, but also for her emotional well-being. Their compassion, presence and attentiveness made a lasting impression during one of the most vulnerable times in her life. expand That care didn't just help Lauren safely welcome her daughter — it ignited something deeper that was connected to her emotional, as well as physical, journey. Though she had studied pre-med in college, Lauren pursued a career in law, working as a biomedical and pharmaceutical patent attorney. But during each of her pregnancies, especially her experience with PAS, she felt an undeniable pull back to medicine. 'I couldn't ignore it anymore,' Lauren says. 'I realized I was staying in a career that didn't fulfill me when I had a clear passion for women's health.' While still practicing law, Lauren became a certified birth doula and began taking courses to prepare for medical school. She officially left the legal field at the end of 2023. Now she supports women in childbirth and is preparing to apply to medical school. Philips, who has since developed a close friendship with Lauren, couldn't be prouder. Lauren remains active in the world of advocacy and has included both Woolworth and Philips in these events. 'It's been such a beautiful extension of our relationship to continue to work together to support maternal and reproductive health,' Woolworth says. 'It's incredibly rewarding to see how her experience shaped her purpose,' Philips says. 'Atrium Health's approach to maternal care is deeply rooted in collaboration, and Lauren's story is a testament to how that teamwork makes a difference — not just in outcomes, but in lives.' Today, Lauren is healthy and thriving, raising her three children — two sons and her youngest, affectionately known as her 'percreta princess,' who is now three years old. 'I'm just so grateful,' Lauren says. 'Not only did Atrium Health help save my life, they helped give me direction. The care I received was everything I needed, both as a patient and as a person.' Atrium Health is a nationally recognized leader in shaping health outcomes through innovative research, education and compassionate patient care. Based in Charlotte, North Carolina, Atrium Health is an integrated, nonprofit health system with more than 70,000 teammates serving patients at 40 hospitals and more than 1,400 care locations.
Washington Post
a day ago
- Washington Post
Answering your questions about underused menopause therapies
You're reading The Checkup With Dr. Wen, a newsletter on how to navigate medical and public health challenges. Click here to get the full newsletter in your inbox, including answers to reader questions and a summary of new scientific research. I heard from many readers with questions about my column this week, which discussed underutilized hormone therapies for menopause, especially low-dose vaginal formulations that can treat a common condition, genitourinary syndrome of menopause (GSM). This newsletter is focused on answering them. A number of women shared that they didn't know GSM existed; they just assumed symptoms like vaginal dryness and pain and bleeding during sex were an expected part of aging. Some experienced significant complications themselves. Mary from Wisconsin, for instance, wrote that she suffered recurrent bladder infections for years before a menopause specialist diagnosed her with GSM. The most common question I received was when it was too late to start treatment. As Sarah from Virginia wrote, 'I read your article and then looked up GSM on the internet. I have all the symptoms. But I'm old — 68. I hit menopause when I was in my 40s. If I can't use hormone therapy, what options do I have?' Sarah's question highlights why it is so crucial to separate systemic therapy, intended to increase hormone levels throughout the body, and low-dose vaginal therapy, which introduces only minimal estrogen into the bloodstream. The window to begin systemic therapy is typically within 10 years of the start of menopause (defined as a woman experiencing 12 months without menstrual periods) or before age 60. But no such time limit exists for low-dose vaginal estrogen. Physician and Harvard professor JoAnn E. Manson told me that women no longer eligible for systemic therapy may still experience significant relief with low-dose vaginal estrogen. She also emphasized that though hot flashes, night sweats and other symptoms treated by systemic therapies usually subside over time, GSM is a progressive condition that worsens without treatment. Several readers also asked how long they would need to use low-dose vaginal estrogen. University of Virginia OB/GYN JoAnn Pinkerton explained that most women require ongoing treatment. She tells her patients new therapeutic options may emerge in the future, but for now, 'if you stop therapy, you are going to see a reversal of the benefits, and you may very well go back to having the same symptoms.' One aspect that could change over time is the method of application. She advises patients to begin by using estrogen intravaginally. 'If women are older, and they are no longer interested in having vaginal sexual activity, I may transition to what's called topical estrogen, where we just put it around the vaginal opening, push a little bit in, and we still seem to get that benefit [of reduced infections], and it's a little bit easier for women to use,' she said. Pinkerton also addressed a question from Ellen from Vermont, about whether cancer survivors like her can use these treatments. In Pinkerton's experience, women who have had breast cancer are frightened to use anything containing estrogen. Yet there isn't evidence linking low-dose vaginal estrogen therapy and breast cancer. A meta-analysis published in the American Journal of Obstetrics & Gynecology in March found no increase in breast cancer recurrence or mortality among women with a history of breast cancer who used vaginal estrogen. Instead of deterring all cancer survivors from hormone treatments, she thinks a better approach is to for patients to work with gynecologists and oncologists to tailor the treatment approach. Right after cancer treatment, Pinkerton said, 'we might try vaginal moisturizers and lubricants. … But at some point, if they are having progressive symptoms, [low-dose vaginal estrogen] can be considered.' 'It seems there is a total 180-degree change in our thinking around hormone therapy,' wrote Jennifer from Maine. 'Twenty years ago, menopausal women were told to stop taking estrogen. Now, has the pendulum swung so much that women are pushed to take hormones, even if we don't have symptoms?' I think we are in the midst of a long-overdue reckoning. The misinterpreted 2002 Women's Health Initiative study unnecessarily dissuaded many women from using hormone therapy who could have potentially benefited from it. That said, it's imperative for scientific evidence to guide who should — and shouldn't — use it. Importantly, neither low-dose vaginal estrogen nor systemic hormone therapy are recommended for women without menopause symptoms. Multiple studies link systemic hormone therapy to fewer heart attacks, prevention of bone loss and lower mortality, but, as Manson explained, 'the evidence has been inconsistent.' Pinkerton tells her patients that systemic hormone therapy can relieve hot flashes, improve sleep and stabilize mood, with possible added benefits for cardiovascular, bone and brain health. But using it solely for disease prevention is another matter entirely, and the bar for evidence must be set much higher. Correcting outdated information does not mean recommending hormone therapy to every woman. Rather, women must receive accurate information and be able to access treatments so they can make informed choices throughout their life transitions. Have you been diagnosed with GSM and wish to share your story? I'd love to hear from you and to feature your comments and questions in a future edition of The Checkup.
Yahoo
2 days ago
- Yahoo
Lauren Manzo Reveals ‘Insane' Weight Gain After Lap-Band Removal
is getting real about her decades-long battle with weight and how she finally found balance. The "Real Housewives of New Jersey" alum, who first appeared on Bravo alongside her mom, Caroline Manzo, back in 2009, revealed that her body has been under public scrutiny since her early 20s. In fact, when Lauren Manzo was just 21 years old, television viewers would tell her she was "fat" and "disgusting." Lauren Manzo Admits She Ignored Vomiting From Lap-Band Surgery Growing up in a tight-knit Italian family with food always at the center, from her family's catering business to dinners out together, Lauren admitted eating was practically a hobby. 'We love to eat. We don't eat to live,' the now 37-year-old told PEOPLE. But despite always working out and trying diets, she recalled, 'I could be full to the point where I was in pain, but my brain was still, 'It's time to eat.'' By middle school, her weight struggles already kept her from pool parties and Jersey Shore trips with friends. 'I was just a big girl, and I never understood why,' she explained. In her early 20s, Lauren underwent lap-band surgery, desperate for a solution. While it helped her shed pounds, she admitted she ignored worrying side effects, including vomiting, because she was just happy to be 'skinny.' Eventually, she had the band removed, only to gain back 'an insane amount of weight,' peaking at 208 pounds. 'I felt unhealthy, swollen, and depressed,' she recalled. Manzo Fires Back At Weight Loss Critics Everything shifted three years ago when Lauren started seeing a functional medicine doctor. Cutting out gluten and dairy helped her lose 50 pounds and feel less exhausted, but she still struggled to get further results. That's when she turned to the GLP-1 weight-loss drug Mounjaro, a decision she says saved her life. 'I really believed [Mounjaro] saved my life. What they say about food noise. I had never heard that term,' she explained. In total, Lauren dropped another 50 pounds on the medication. But while her physical health improved, critics began to weigh in, accusing her of taking the 'easy way out.' 'It wasn't the easy way out, the surgeries weren't easy,' she fired back. 'Comments like that. I don't think it's fair. What are you teaching your kids? That it's okay to attack someone for their body, especially knowing how much they have struggled?' Lauren Manzo Beams With Confidence After 100-Lb. Weight Loss Today, Lauren is still on Mounjaro but says she's focusing on long-term health by strength training and eating a balanced diet to build muscle. 'Being skinny doesn't mean that you're healthy,' she emphasized. The transformation has given her back her confidence and her life. Last year, she wore a bikini for the first time while vacationing in Florida with her 8-year-old daughter, a milestone she once thought impossible. 'I used to be able to be outside for 10 minutes, tops. I would be sweating, breathing heavily, and so uncomfortable. Now, I'm out with my daughter every day and we're going to the pool,' she said, proudly reflecting on the everyday benefits of living at a healthier weight. Manzo's Divorce From Vito Scalia Finalized After Nearly A Decade Of Marriage Lauren's health transformation comes on the heels of major personal changes in her life. Earlier this year, news broke that the former "Real Housewives of New Jersey" star had quietly finalized her divorce from Vito Scalia months ago. According to Daily Mail, court documents revealed that a judge signed off on their split in November 2024, nearly a decade after their 2015 wedding. As part of the settlement, the exes agreed to share joint legal custody of their daughter, Marchesa, with Lauren's mother, "RHONJ" alum Caroline Manzo, serving as the 'exchange point' for custody transitions. Scalia was ordered to pay $1,000 per month in child support and $4,000 in limited-duration alimony for just over two years. Lauren also retained ownership of the couple's New Jersey home and its contents, while both kept their own vehicles. Lauren Manzo Says Divorce From Vito Scalia Was A Mutual Decision The pair, who first faced split rumors as far back as 2017, officially cited 'irreconcilable differences' in their divorce filing. Lauren later confirmed the breakup in an October 2023 Instagram video, assuring fans that the separation was amicable. 'This has been done for a very long time,' she said at the time. 'The last part of the process was filing. We were on the same page. This is something that we did together.' Scalia has since found new love with wellness coach Dominique Valenti, who began sharing photos with him on her Instagram as early as August 2023. Solve the daily Crossword
