Runner confidential: Boston Marathon finishers tell us what they really think after 26.2 miles
As do the signs, some of them unprintable.
'You're running better than the government,' was one oft-noticed one.
'I saw a sign that said: 'Don't fart,'' laughed one runner. 'Fine, I wont.'
Others reported feeling a little biological jealousy. 'I saw lot of men peeing openly,' said one woman in her mid-20s. 'It's fine.'
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In part, that could have been the beer. It is not difficult to pick up a carb-heavy drink — and a smooch — in the college areas.
'I drank three beers: a Dale's Pale Ale, the second and third ones were Bud Light, which tasted like water,' said one compact woman in her 20s. 'I'm kind of tipsy right now, to be honest.'
'I liked all the drunk college students,' said one sober racer. 'I wish I was one of them.'
Calorie replacement was the immediate focus for most surveyed.
'I'm gonna [expletive] with a lot of pizza,' said one runner. 'And I'll probably keep drinking beers.'
'I desperately want a burger from Mr. Bartley's in Harvard Square, but they're closed,' said another. 'I'll be going there tomorrow.'
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'Pasta,' said one first-time Boston visitor from South Carolina. 'Little Italy? I'm obsessed. So beautiful.' (We didn't tell her we call it the North End.)
Not all runners could think about food.
Two female friends experienced troubled guts on the course, both at the same time, when they smelled what Mile 23 was cooking.
'I almost threw up,' said one runner. 'The hot dog smells? I was like, absolutely not.'
'I had a gnarly gel with caffeine,' her friend said. 'Unflavored. That one just didn't hit right – too late in the game. Mile 23. I needed it and it backfired on me.'
Sweat and tears were more commonly left behind as runners crossed the line.
'I was crying,' said one finisher. 'The emotions of being here for the first time, and working so hard to get here, and then it's this is it. This is the moment.'
Late in the race, said another, 'one of those confetti guns blew confetti in my face. It was so unexpected. I like, cackled, maniacally. I thought I had been shot or something. It was awesome, though. It made me feel like a superhero.'
Some certainly went in feeling heroic. The costumed runners were easy to spot.
Participants said they saw a man dressed as Jesus, with a beard, tunic, and crown of thorns, who was blessing people who passed him. They spotted someone they thought was a red-painted Beelzebub — 'that was the most jaw-dropping thing I saw today,' said one runner. 'I ran step-for-step with the devil.'
It was actually Ken Bereski, who competes in head-to-toe maroon for his alma mater Boston College. 'I literally have a cross painted on my face,' he said, laughing.
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Ken Bereski, 44, ran his 150th marathon today, and emblazoned it on his chest. He's been wearing BC paint since his student days (class of 02).
'I was the crazy lunatic at every game,' he said. 'Going past BC is my favorite mile in all of marathoning.'
— Christopher Huffaker (@huffakingit)
They spotted a tall, bespectacled Waldo, bleeding through the front of his striped shirt. A Japanese couple in a tuxedo and wedding dress. Several Santas and the Easter Bunny. A guy running with a Boston Marathon pillow.
They passed military marchers, who took about eight hours to walk the course in full fatigues beginning at 6 a.m.
'Mine are standard issue,' said one Air Force service member, pointing to his boots. 'Don't wear these.'
Among the fastest of costumed runners was Jordan Maddocks, of Draper, Utah. He reclaimed the Guinness Book of World Records record for fastest marathon run in a fruit costume. He held the record for three years, until fellow bananaman Matthew Seidel, of Oakland, Calif.,
Revenge-minded Maddocks ran 2:33:48. His time might have been slower had he chosen a fruit that was wider (like an orange) or with a wind-catching shape (say, a bunch of grapes). But aerodynamics were not considered.
'Growing up, the banana was the most common costume worn by runners,' Maddocks said. 'I always figured that if I was going to go after a costume record – the banana is nostalgic for me.'
Maddocks also holds the Guinness marathon record for a vegetable (2:44:12 as a carrot, in 2022) and tried to set the wedding dress record in London three years ago. But his three-layer dress was too heavy on a scorching day, and his time suffered.
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As he relayed that story a hundred feet from the finish line, someone chasing him finally caught up. 'I got beat by a freakin' banana,' the man said, patting him on the back softly, so as to not bruise him.
'If you ever want to feel like a celebrity,' Maddocks said, 'dress as a banana and run Boston.'
Or something else.
Teresa Wojtasiewicz dressed as Princess Leia to run Monday's Boston Marathon.
Jessica Rinaldi/Globe Staff
'I saw Princess Leia run past me,' said Indianapolis-raised Scott Crafton, who was dressed as childhood hero Larry Bird, in full green Celtics uniform. At the starting line, he did not use his hands to wipe the bottoms of his sneakers, as Bird did before taking the parquet. 'Didn't need the extra traction,' he said.
Meanwhile, Jessey the Elf set a pending record for a marathon run in an elf costume.
Elf – yes, it's on his Canadian passport – is the former Ben Sayles, of southern Ontario, who legally changed his name and had his ears surgically pointed about 10 years ago. Elf, who ran in 2:48:17 (he also owns that mark for a half-marathon), spread Christmas cheer for 26.2 miles.
'We passed a retirement home at one mile, and they all had signs that said, 'Single and Ready to Mingle,'' Elf said. 'I wanted to stop but I had to keep going.'
One runner, who almost succumbed to the Newton hills, felt the same.
'The last half of the marathon, you see so many people walking on the side,' he said. 'You're like, that could be me any minute.'
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When asked to use a single word to sum up the experience, they went with 'free,' 'iconic,' 'endured,' 'inspired' and so on … if they felt compelled to narrow it down.
'One word?' said one young female runner from Austin, by way of Russia.
'I [expletive] finished the Boston Marathon!'
Matt Porter can be reached at

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