This Canadian caregiver says looking after her mother-in-law makes her 'feel alone.' An expert says the Sandwich Generation can't forget self-care

Yahoo

2 days ago

When Celina's mother-in-law, Ines, started feeling forgetful, experiencing vision trouble and showing other signs of decline, it was Celina's idea to invite her to move into the home she shared with her husband and teenage son. She herself had grown up with her grandparents under the same roof and a father who instilled in her and her siblings that 'family is the most important thing.'
While Celina and her family knew it would be an adjustment having her mother-in-law there full-time, caring for Ines has proven more challenging than they expected. Scary incidents like leaving the front door open and forgetting to turn off their gas stove have them feeling 'constantly on edge.'
Though she loves her mother-in-law 'like she's my own mother,' Celina added she often feels overwhelmed and isolated. Her sleep, work and social life have all suffered. 'Everything falls on me,' Celina told Yahoo Canada. 'I feel alone.'
Editor's note: Celina declined to publish her last name for this article.
This article is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Contact a qualified medical professional before engaging in any physical activity, or making any changes to your diet, medication or lifestyle.
She's not alone. In Canada, one in four people are caregivers, and one in two will become one. Many, like Celina, are part of what's been dubbed the 'Sandwich Generation,' which makes up about 28 per cent of all Canadian caregivers. These are people, typically between the ages of 45 and 64, who are 'sandwiched' between caring for both aging parents and their own children.
Celina's struggles are, unfortunately, an all-too-common part of caregiving.
'Canadian caregivers are juggling a lot: Managing medications, providing daily care, navigating health-care systems, all while trying to care for themselves,' says Liv Mendelsohn, the executive director of the Canadian Centre for Caregiving Excellence, a program of The Azrieli Foundation. 'But self-care often feels like just another task on an already overfull plate.'
Without proper support, caregiving can take a serious toll on physical, mental and financial health.Liv Mendelsohn
Research shows that responsibility of caregiving tends to fall on women, many of whom also report higher rates of burden, depression and poorer mental health and well-being. They're also more likely to suffer social and employment consequences due to caregiving.
'Without proper support, caregiving can take a serious toll on physical, mental and financial health,' Mendelsohn added. 'Yet a caregiver's well-being is vital to the dignity, stability and health of the person they support.'
Along with the heavy price caregivers pay with their health and well-being, caregivers also often pay out of pocket. The average caregiver in Canada may spend $5,800 per year on care-related expenses, with 20 per cent having to take out a loan or line of credit to cover the costs.
There are federal, provincial and territorial government tax credits and financial supports that you may be able to access to help offset some of the costs of caregiving. Some of the federal tax credits available include:
The Canada Caregiver Credit (CCC): This non-refundable credit provides up to $8,375 to caregivers of dependent relatives, or up to $2,616 for the care of a common-law partner, spouse or child under 18.
The Disability Tax Credit (DTC): This non-refundable tax credit reduces the amount of income tax paid by a person with a disability or a family member caring for them.
The Home Accessibility Tax Credit: This allows you to claim an amount for renovations or alterations to your home to make it more accessible.
Medical Expense Tax Credit: You can claim eligible medical expenses for yourself, your spouse/common-law partner or child or other dependent family members.
Provincial benefits and credits vary, so be sure to also investigate these where you live by visiting your province's official government website.
Caregivers are less likely than others to practice self-care or even get preventative health services, like yearly checkups.
'Self-care means being able to rest, attend your own medical appointments, take a quiet walk, go to therapy, connect with friends, get a full night's sleep or simply sit outside in the sun without being on alert,' Mendelsohn noted.
Some other things you can do to help improve your wellbeing as a caregiver include:
Asking family and friends for help — you don't have to do it all alone!
Arrange for respite care to get a break from caregiving; you may qualify for free respite care through your provincial government.
Eat a well-balanced diet and get plenty of water to improve energy levels and keep your immune system healthy.
Join an online or in-person caregiver support group to connect with others who know what you're going through.
Mendelsohn added that 'real self-care isn't just bubble baths and deep breaths, though those can help.' Instead, it's about accessing:
Time off through respite care
Income supports that reflect the cost of care
Flexible work policies
Mental health supports, like mindfulness, acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT) or access to counselling without long waitlists.
Community programs that offer connection without guilt
'A sustainable care system depends on collective responsibility from governments, employers and communities to recognize caregiving as essential work,' Mendelsohn shared.
The Canadian Centre for Caregiving Excellence website offers an extensive list of caregiver resources, including support groups, across Canada, as well as wellness programs for caregivers. You can also visit their website to learn how you can volunteer and address the needs of caregivers in Canada.