Vast area destroyed in Rome after petrol station blast that injured more than 40
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Yahoo
an hour ago
- Yahoo
My 4-year-old asked for a smartphone. Here's what I did next as a parent.
'Mom, when can I have a phone?' my 4-year-old asked recently. I was taken aback. He pressed on: 'Why does everyone have a phone but me?' His question lingered with me. If a 4-year-old was already eager for a phone, how much more insistent would he become as he grew, surrounded by peers glued to their screens? As the mental health crisis among children and teens reaches alarming levels, urgent attention is being paid to digital technology's contributions to our kids' anxiety and depression. It occurred to me where my son's desire for a phone originated: He had seen the adults around him − my husband, grandparents and me − absorbed by our devices. He assumed owning one was normal and necessary. I realized that conversations about technology use aren't only about how we regulate our children's screen time. It's fundamentally about how we, as adults, model our relationship with technology. Children do not grow up in a vacuum; they mirror what they see. If adults are perpetually distracted by their phones, the message is clear: Presence with others takes a backseat to screens. Who we are physically with matters less than what occupies our attention in the digital world. If we hope to alleviate the mental health crisis for our children − caused in part, as Jonathan Haidt writes, by under-protecting them online − we must lead by example. Your Turn: Tablets, screen time aren't 'parenting hacks.' They're killing kids' attention spans. | Opinion Forum The stakes are high. Rising rates of anxiety, depression and social isolation among young people have been linked in part to excessive screen time and premature access to smartphones and social media. Experts now propose clear guidelines to safeguard children's mental and emotional well-being, such as: No smartphones before high school. Children should wait until about age 14 for smartphones with internet access, using basic phones beforehand to limit distractions and risks. No social media before age 16. Social media exposure should be delayed until children reach the emotional maturity needed to withstand its pressures. Phone-free schools. Devices should be stored away during the school day to reduce distractions and improve focus. More independence and free play. Encouraging real-world activities fosters social skills, autonomy and emotional resilience. These norms for children are critical, but they represent only half the solution. The other half, often overlooked, is how adults use phones and model attention. To truly protect children, parents and caregivers must adopt their own set of phone norms − because children's habits grow from what they see modeled at home. No TikTok? No problem. Here's why you shouldn't rush to buy your child a phone. | Opinion Here are four essential practices adults can embrace: Be fully present with children. When possible, avoid screen use in front of your children. It's not about perfection − I'm writing this article on my laptop with my daughter in my arms − but about intention. Prioritizing undistracted time shows children that they are worthy of your full attention. Make mealtimes phone free. The dinner table should be a refuge from the digital world. Phones put away, conversations flowing freely. This sacred pause nurtures relationships and demonstrates the power of presence. Use a 'presence protector." Create a physical space, like a box or basket, where all devices are placed during family time. My father-in-law crafted me a beautiful box shaped like a book, inscribed with the words of Christian missionary Jim Elliot, calling me to presence day in and day out: 'Wherever you are, be all there.' This ritualized commitment turns intention into action and invites everyone to be truly present. Commit to a digital sabbath. Set aside one day or even a half-day each week as a screen-free period. Our souls and relationships need these moments of digital disconnection to heal, reconnect and breathe. These shifts do not reject technology − they acknowledge that phones can be valuable tools. Rather, they invite us to reclaim the art of presence. Adults are the primary architects of cultural norms, shaping not only their own habits but the digital landscapes their children inherit. Opinion alerts: Get columns from your favorite columnists + expert analysis on top issues, delivered straight to your device through the USA TODAY app. Don't have the app? Download it for free from your app store. By modeling intentional phone use, adults can protect younger generations from the profound harm of phone-dependent childhoods. This dual commitment − what I call "The Presence Pact" − builds on Jonathan Haidt's four norms for kids by establishing four norms for parents, forging a holistic approach to technology use that honors connection, mental health and family well-being. When my son asked for a phone, he wasn't just asking for a device. He was reflecting the world he saw − the world we, as adults, have shaped. If we want to raise resilient, attentive and emotionally healthy children, the call is clear: Wherever we are, we must be all there. Alexandra Hudson is the author of "The Soul of Civility" and the founder of Civic Renaissance. You can read diverse opinions from our USA TODAY columnists and other writers on the Opinion front page, on X, formerly Twitter, @usatodayopinion and in our Opinion newsletter. This article originally appeared on USA TODAY: When should kids get a phone? What I've learned as a mom | Opinion
New York Times
an hour ago
- New York Times
The Brooklyn Allergist's Office That Was Once Home to a Spy
It's not every day that a Brooklyn allergy doctor is alerted by his receptionist that a stranger is standing in his waiting room claiming that a Cuban-born spy named Sanchez once lived in the building. But it happened to Dr. Norman Horace Greeley a few weeks ago in his home office at 140 Clinton Street in Brooklyn Heights. 'I thought he might've been a nut case,' Dr. Greeley recalled, 'and basically I turned him away.' But the visitor, the historian John Harris, tried one last bid to get a tour of the 1850s townhouse: He left the doctor a copy of his book, 'The Last Slave Ships,' along with a hastily scrawled note intimating that a famous ancestor of the doctor was linked to Emilio Sanchez y Dolz, the 19th-century spy whose biography Mr. Harris is writing for Yale University Press. Though Mr. Harris had arrived on the building's doorstep knowing nothing of its current occupant, he had immediately been intrigued by Dr. Greeley's name and by a portrait in the waiting room of Horace Greeley, who was the renowned founding editor of The New-York Tribune and an 1872 presidential candidate. 'It was mysterious and tantalizing,' Mr. Harris said of the portrait. 'I'm working with an obscure figure' — Mr. Sanchez — 'who deserves to be as famous as Greeley, and here he is connected to' Greeley himself, 'a much greater figure from the period.' Five minutes later, as Mr. Harris sat on the steps of a church across the street, Dr. Greeley called him, bursting with curiosity. He was indeed a descendant of the Tribune editor, he told Mr. Harris, and the house had been continuously occupied by Greeleys since the early 1900s. What's more, one of the doctor's sons, Matthew Greeley, was shooting a short-form documentary about the famously antislavery family patriarch. Want all of The Times? Subscribe.
Yahoo
an hour ago
- Yahoo
Woman Doesn't Want Her In-Laws Around Her Newborn After They Ignored Her Deadly Peanut Allergy
A woman on Reddit writes that she hopes to never see her in-laws again after they've continued to disregard her needs In the post, she writes that her mother-in-law has gone so far as to ignore her deadly peanut allergy The mother-in-law has served dishes with peanuts in them, even when the woman was pregnant, she writesA woman says she would be okay with never seeing her in-laws again after they've continued to disregard her needs — even going so far as to ignore her deadly peanut allergy. In a post shared to Reddit, she writes that she and her 24-year-old fiancé have been dealing with his in-laws for more than a year — but since they recently welcomed a baby boy, the situation is now spiraling out of control. "When me and my fiancé started dating, I was terribly disrespected by his parents but stuck by my fiancé trying to figure things out. I have a deadly peanut allergy and his parents did not care," she writes. "They would cook food and tell me after setting the food in front of me that there were peanuts in it. This happened while I was about 5 months pregnant and [that] was when I told my fiancé I was not going around them anymore but he could do what he wants." She adds that the disrespect continued at her baby shower, when his mom "threw such a fit" about not serving peanuts that she wound up cancelling the event. "After that I was such a wreck because of how bad I felt for my fiancé and unborn baby," she adds. "I wanted things to be figured out and I didn't want my fiancé to deal with such a terrible situation." Later, the in-laws made an issue out of seeing the newborn baby — refusing to see the baby in the woman's family home after she asked for an apology for the earlier incidents. After refusing to apologize or visit the newborn baby, the in-laws eventually cut the couple off, even blocking them on social media. "I told my fiancé I didn't want our baby around them alone because of how much they disregard literally anything that they feel like with other people," she writes. "He agreed with me thankfully. I just know things will be worse before they get better. I feel like it's making my postpartum worse." Never miss a story — sign up for to stay up-to-date on the best of what PEOPLE has to offer, from celebrity news to compelling human interest stories. Others on Reddit are offering their takes on the situation, with many arguing that the situation is fairly common. "That's textbook toxic in-laws 101," writes one commenter. "You and your fiancé drawing the line is the only sane move here. No apology means no access, simple as that. They're choosing to be nuisances, not family. Protect your mental health and your kid, because these people sound like a liability, not an asset. Postpartum's tough enough without that circus. Stay firm." Read the original article on People
