Tinder is testing a height filter. What should short kings do?
Short kings are up in arms over a controversial new feature on Tinder.
The dating app has started testing a new feature that allows people who pay for the app to filter potential matches based on height − a move that's sparked discussion online about the challenges short men face while dating.
"We're always listening to what matters most to our Tinder users — and testing the paid height preference is a great example of how we're building with urgency, clarity, and focus," Philip Price Fry, vice president of communications at Tinder, said in a statement. "This is part of a broader effort to help people connect more intentionally on Tinder."
The feature might be new for Tinder, but it's already part of other dating apps, like Hinge and Bumble, which have long offered height filters for paying users.
Dating and relationship experts say dating can be more difficult for short men, especially on apps, where height filters cause them to get overlooked off-the-bat. While this can certainly feel discouraging, it's important not to lose hope: There's still plenty of ways to meet people open to dating a short king.
More: People are paying thousands for 'dating boot camp' with sex experts. I signed up.
It's also important, they add, for daters to be open-minded. There's nothing wrong with preferring to date someone tall − but it's important to ask yourself how important a specific trait is to you before turning on a filter that will eliminate potential matches.
"I understand preferences are important," says Amy Chan, a dating coach and the author of "Breakup Bootcamp: The Science of Rewiring Your Heart." "The problem is when we confuse preferences with deal-breakers."
Blaine Anderson, a dating coach for men, says it's also important for people to keep their height preferences in perspective. For instance, someone who's 5'4" and wants to date someone taller probably doesn't need their height filter set to 6' and above; they might find someone who's 5'8" to be the perfect height for them.
What health & wellness means for you: Sign up for USA TODAY's Keeping It Together newsletter
News that Tinder is testing a height filter has inspired conversations on social media about the ups and downs dating as a man when your height doesn't start with a "6."
"Women aren't ready for this conversation but they need to stop filtering by height on dating apps," one X user wrote. "I met Kyle on Hinge. He didn't lie about his height (5'9") and was filtered out by a lot of women! Many of my friends would have filtered him out! Don't do this." Others cracked jokes: "I set my height as 6'4 on dating apps let it accrue matches for a couple weeks then set it back to 5'10 and message them."
Some, like bodybuilder and fitness influencer Jeff Nippard, who's 5'5," offered advice: "This really isn't a big deal. As a short man, if a woman doesn't find you attractive because of your height then why would you want to be with her anyway?"
Chan speculates height preferences stem from evolution, going back thousands of years to when physical size and strength were necessary for survival.
Now, however, that's no longer the case.
"Men's height has been culturally associated with masculinity, power and protection," Chan says. "I joke with my friends that, unless you're planning on getting into bar fights, the guy who has access to a good lawyer is probably going to be able to protect you more than a guy who's tall."
Have you heard of 'relation-shopping'? It might be why you're still single.
Chan encourages people to find ways of meeting people outside of dating apps, ideally in settings where their personalities can shine.
"We know through research that apps cause people to filter very harshly, even if they wouldn't do so in person," Chan says. "I always tell my clients to have three different forms of 'lead generation'. If you're on apps, great, but add two more. Maybe that's joining a club or taking up a hobby where you'll meet other like-minded people and build relationships and community over time."
More: Relationship experts say these common dating 'rules' are actually ruining your love life
Anderson offers similar advice − and adds daters shouldn't waste their energy feeling frustrated over what they can't control. You can't change your height, but you can work on other attributes to attract a partner.
"Rather than getting mad or feeling frustrated about it, accept the reality and control the things you can control," she says. "You can control the number of women you approach in a day or a week. You can control having a great smile and a nice personality when you approach that person."
More: 'Tall Girl 2,' Zendaya and Tom Holland and the stigma around tall women dating shorter men
And, if you're someone who does use a height filter, you might want to try expanding it an inch or two and seeing what happens, Anderson says. You could be surprised by who you meet.
This article originally appeared on USA TODAY: Tinder is testing a height filter. Sorry, short kings.
Hashtags
Try Our AI Features
Explore what Daily8 AI can do for you:
Comments
No comments yet...
Related Articles
Chicago Tribune
41 minutes ago
- Chicago Tribune
‘The Big D,' a matchmaking comedy show for divorced singles, is coming to Chicago
A unique comedy game show is coming to Chicago, and while anyone can watch, the show's contestants share one commonality: Divorce. 'The Big D' (you can guess what the 'D' stands for here) is a matchmaking show that allows divorced singles in the 40-60 age range to meet people in the real world and, hopefully, spark a connection. Chicago native Julie Golden created the show in Los Angeles last year, where it plays to packed houses and attracts bachelorettes such as actress Mary Lynn Rajskub and comic (and Oak Park native) Kathy Griffin. Golden, having spent over two decades as a film studio executive, reality television producer and screenwriter, pitched the show to Santa Monica's Westside Comedy Theater. Having had her fill of the cynical live dating shows she'd seen before, she swapped the roasting for romance. 'If you're roastable,' Golden says with a laugh, 'I don't want you on that stage.' A divorcee herself, Golden explains that she started the show 'because I didn't like the models offered to us.' She says that her demographic isn't bar-hopping to find partners, but they're not necessarily creating a multitude of different dating app profiles, either. So, she offers an entertaining option to those not interested in signing up for Hinge or Bumble, with a show featuring comics, contestants, and a cash prize. To find her bachelorettes, Golden turns to her extensive network of friends and family. However, for the men, she turns to dating apps. After creating a profile for herself, she reaches out to bachelors she thinks would make good contestants. Never one to play coy, the show poster is in her profile — though, she says, she still occasionally gets asked if she's a bot. (She assures us, she is not.) Her goal is to curate a lineup where any matchup could potentially work. Every show starts with a cocktail party, where Golden mingles with audience members and ensures anyone interested gets lei'ed — that is, given a colored lei to let other singles know they're available. (No one is pulled from the audience and brought on stage, though they are free to submit for future editions.) Golden hopes the early interaction eases the audience into feeling like they're on one big date together, 'minus the polyamory — unless that's what you're into, in which case, that's another show, and I'm really bad at math.' The newly familiar audience then takes their seats and the show begins. Three pre-selected bachelors and bachelorettes are brought to the stage one at a time. A panel of comics interviews them individually and pairs them up. Each couple then goes on a five-minute speed date live in front of the audience. Throughout the show, Golden holds court as host, dishing out advice, zingers and questions, a big-haired, brunette mix of Carol Burnett and Dolly Gallagher Levi. 'I love to bring love to people,' she says, a line that manages to be entirely earnest while also sounding like a Jerry Herman lyric. It's this combination of sincerity and wit that sets her show apart. She wants her contestants to walk away with, if not their next partner, at least a new connection. 'It's very lonely,' Golden says of the post-divorce world. She envisions the show as a way of uniting people who share that common bond. 'It's such a singular kind of commonality that divorced people have,' she says. 'It's a very unique loss. No matter who left the marriage, it's a loss.' Crafting 'The Big D' has helped her and her audience deal with that loss as a community. Hosting this show has felt like 'a calling,' she says, a sentiment she says has been validated by the audience's responses. 'Everybody came to me afterwards,' she says, 'like, 'Thank you. I feel so much better.'' Now, she's bringing the show out of Los Angeles, stopping first in her hometown of Chicago before continuing on to Dallas later in July. 'I wanted to at least take the first unfamiliar step in a familiar surrounding,' she says of the choice to do that first out-of-town show here. She is still fielding contestants for the upcoming show — and having a wonderful time doing so. 'There's something about a Chicago man,' she muses, joking that she's planning to either bring all of them to Los Angeles, or send her California contacts to Chicago. 'My whole life out here in LA,' she adds, 'I realize I've been looking for somebody who feels like they're from Chicago.' If you feel that way, too, and want to take your chance on stage, you can reach out via the show's website, And if you're just into watching, tickets for the show are now available.
The Verge
42 minutes ago
- The Verge
Apple's F1 movie is a hit.
Apple's F1 movie is a hit. The Brad Pitt-starring racing drama opened to more than $55 million in the US this weekend, and $144 million worldwide. That's still a ways short of the movie's $200-300 million production budget, but it's easily on track to beat the $221 million-earning Napoleon as Apple's biggest film yet.
Fast Company
an hour ago
- Fast Company
Is this Hollywood's moment of AI reckoning?
For some in Hollywood, as Silicon Valley's AI models have become impossible to ignore, it's better to have a seat at the table as these new technologies emerge, rather than sitting back and letting the tech titans take full control. This, at least, is the impetus behind Asteria, the generative AI studio cofounded by the filmmaking couple of Bryn Mooser and Natasha Lyonne, who promote their company as using 'ethical' AI. Lyonne has justified her embrace of the technology by explaining: 'It's better to get your hands dirty than pretend it's not happening.' The company has faced some backlash, both because Lyonne (tastelessly, her detractors would argue) claimed the late David Lynch had endorsed AI, and because its flagship model is proprietary—meaning we have no way to verify that it is indeed trained only on licensed material (as Lyonne and co. say it is). Meanwhile, James Cameron is on Stability AI's board, and has expressed his hope for using AI to make blockbuster filmmaking cheaper. Jason Blum's Blumhouse Productions has partnered with Meta for AI testing and chatbots. Lionsgate signed a deal with Runway, an AI startup valued at $3 billion, to let the company train its model on the studio's 20,000+ films and TV series; Runway also signed a deal with AMC. This embrace of AI, though, puts the James Camerons and Natasha Lyonnes of the world at odds with industry peers who are opting to push back on these would-be robot overlords before they take over.
