‘They say that opposites attract, and it's true' – the secret to Dolly Parton's 60-year marriage

Telegraph

04-03-2025

It was a marriage built on love that inspired one of country music's greatest anthems, Jolene. But now, sadly, death has taken Dolly Parton's beloved man. On Monday, the singer announced the passing of Carl Dean, who died at the age of 82, marking the end of an extraordinary union that had lasted more than six decades.
In a heartfelt social media post, Parton wrote, 'Carl and I spent many wonderful years together. Words can't do justice to the love we shared for over 60 years. Thank you for your prayers and sympathy.' Dean, who passed away in Nashville, Tennessee, will be laid to rest in a private family ceremony.
Privacy appears to have been a key factor in this faithful and enduring union, which embodied the sentiment of another Parton song, I Will Always Love You. While Parton, the outspoken queen of country music, is a beloved public figure known for her sassy quips and her Dollywood theme park, Dean was a man who carefully avoided the spotlight. Reflecting on their contrasting personalities, Parton commented in 2015, 'They say that opposites attract, and it's true.'
In fact, Dean remained such an elusive figure that conspiracy theorists speculated that he didn't exist. Parton firmly rebutted that idea while appearing on the television show Entertainment Tonight in 2020. 'It's just not who he is,' Parton explained of Dean's aversion to show business. 'He's a quiet, reserved person and he figured if he ever got out there […] he'd never get a minute's peace – and he's right about that.'
She continued: 'I've always respected and appreciated that in him, and I've always tried to keep him out of the limelight as much as I can. He said, 'I didn't choose this world, I chose you, and you chose that world. But we can keep our lives separate and together.' And we do and we have.'
Parton admitted in 2016, the year she and Dean celebrated their 50th anniversary, that her frequent absences due to work helped their relationship thrive. 'They say, 'How did it last 50 years?'' said Parton. 'I say, 'Forty-seven of those years I was gone.''
The pandemic presented a new challenge, though: suddenly Parton was stuck at home. In 2020 she joked that now she was 'trapped in the house' with her husband, 'we may not make it until the next anniversary'. However, she hastened to add that they 'just absolutely laugh all the time,' noting: 'I think there's a whole lot to be said about being good friends.'
It might seem eccentric, but it was a winning formula. Even their first encounter was notably unstarry. In 1964, when the singer was 18 and Dean was 21, the pair met at the Wishy-Washy laundromat in Nashville.
Dean joked that she was bound to get sunburn, given her revealing outfit. In her 2023 memoir, Behind the Seams: My Life in Rhinestones, Parton describes wearing a 'sexy' red sleeveless midriff top paired with hip-hugger bell-bottoms. She recalls Dean telling her, 'I was the girl of his dreams,' explaining, 'He liked movie stars, and I looked like one of those girls to him. And he still thinks I'm that pretty – though he's half blind.'
But it wasn't just her knockout figure that attracted him. 'I was surprised and delighted that while he talked to me, he looked at my face – a rare thing for me,' Parton recalled. 'He seemed to be genuinely interested in finding out who I was and what I was about.'
Parton writes that she wore a wig while visiting Dean while he was at boot camp at Fort Stewart, Georgia (he had joined the National Guard). 'He's so tall that when he bent down and gave me a big hug, the wig started to fall off. I guess I hadn't pinned it. And when I raised my head back, he put his hand on the back of my head and just held it in place there. He didn't care. At the time, I was embarrassed, but I later laughed about it.'
They eloped to Ringgold, Georgia, on May 30 1966, keeping it a secret from executives at her record label who had warned that the nuptials would derail her career. Although the couple never had children, they helped raise several of Parton's younger siblings; the couple's nieces and nephews affectionately called them 'Uncle Peepaw' and 'Aunt Granny'.
Dean had no interest in attending fancy awards shows, she explained. He went to the BMI Song of the Year ceremony in 1967, 'and he came out of there taking off his tuxedo, his tie and all that, and said 'Don't ever ask me to go to another one of these damn things because I ain't going''.
But the pair kept the romance alive in quieter ways. Dean would pick buttercups for her and write poetry. He was, she maintained, a 'homebody', perfectly content 'keeping the fields mowed, the barns painted, and working away on his farm equipment'. Parton shared that the couple loved taking trips in their RV (motorhome), enjoying a picnic and relaxing together.
She confessed in 2023 that she was nervous about playing her new music for him, but when Dean said 'It's good', that 'meant the world to me.' She also said in 1978 that Dean 'lets me be free. And lets me be me'.
Dean was highly amused by any speculation that Parton might be having an affair with some other celebrity. The singer recalled him gleefully bringing home magazines with such stories and saying, 'I see you're having Burt Reynolds's baby again.' Parton admitted that both of them flirted on occasion, but added, 'He's not jealous and I'm not jealous of him.' Theirs might have been an unconventional relationship, but there was no infidelity, she emphasised. 'I would kill him if I thought he was doing that. He would shoot me too. At the end of the day, we love each other madly.'
However, one flirtation inspired a Parton classic. When an attractive red-haired bank teller named Jolene developed a crush on Dean, the singer wrote a song about a love rival – although really, she said, it was 'a running joke' between her and Dean.
Clearly, they only had eyes for each other. In 2021, Parton shared a video on social media revealing that she had dressed up as a Playboy bunny for Dean's birthday, re-creating her famous 1978 magazine cover – which he had loved. 'He still thinks I'm a hot chick, after 57 years, and I'm not going to try to talk him out of that,' she said.
Dean played a crucial role in shaping the distinctive image that made Dolly Parton a legend. In Behind the Seams, she recalls the moment in 1967 when Dean introduced her to Ruth Kemp, a seamstress who would become the first to tailor clothes specifically for her. Ruth, the wife of one of Dean's friends, set the stage for the custom-made wardrobe that would soon define Parton's on-screen presence. Dean wasn't just involved in the tailoring process, though; he had an eye for colour, too. Parton fondly remembers how Carl always loved her in what he called 'pinch'– a peachy pink.
But while he adored her style, Dean wasn't as enamoured with her ever-expanding hair. Parton recalls Dean's playful critique: 'Carl said that I was so small that from a distance I looked like a Q-tip [ear bud]. He'd just see this white head of hair on this little stick of a person.'
In 2002, Parton covered Led Zeppelin's Stairway to Heaven because it was Dean's favourite – he was a dedicated 'Led head'. Parton explained that they considered it 'our song,' recalling how, whenever it played on the car radio, Dean would crank the volume and 'just knock us out of the car'. She also drew inspiration from him for the love song From Here to the Moon and Back, which featured in the 2012 film Joyful Noise. Parton wanted to capture something genuine, so she wrote it 'about someone I really do love and have loved for more than half of my life'. Dean further inspired her 2016 album Pure and Simple, with the song Forever Love being written especially for their golden wedding anniversary
The couple marked their 50th anniversary by renewing their vows at their Nashville home. Parton revealed that she wore a 'beautiful wedding dress' and her husband a smart suit (unlike their first wedding), and she quipped that Dean 'looked like a handsome dude out of Hollywood'.
Yet, beyond the glamour and the glitz, it was Dean's quiet decency that seemed to win Parton's heart time and again. In 2023, she reflected, 'You know, I would have liked him if he wasn't my husband. If he was somebody else's husband, I'd say, 'You know that Carl Dean, ain't he funny? Ain't he a good guy?''
Their love, steady and fervent, is something Parton has always treasured. In 1981, she poignantly declared, 'He is the one man in my life. I would love to grow old with him. If he should die first, I may never marry again. My love is that deep.'