An Engagement Fib That Came True

New York Times

28-02-2025

On her first date with Clarke Daniel Adams, Carrie Kelly Seim intentionally wore a shiny bracelet. 'It was a really unusual studded silver bracelet that I'd purchased at a bazaar in Oman,' she said.
'It sounds silly,' she added. 'But I swear many men are drawn to shiny things.'
What she didn't intend on was losing it.
Mr. Adams and Ms. Seim had matched on the League dating app in May 2017. After they messaged one another, he suggested a first date at the Library Bar at the NoMad Hotel, now known as the Ned NoMad, in Manhattan's NoMad neighborhood.
'He didn't know it was one of my favorites,' Ms. Seim said.
'I remember her walking in the door looking exactly like her pictures — always a plus when you meet people online,' he said. 'She was dressed to the nines.'
'He looked so handsome,' she said. 'He had this James Bond look, and he had this really warm smile. I was worried he might be dull. But he was instantly funny. He has this very dry wit.'
It was clear from the start that there was a connection.
Ms. Seim appreciated that Mr. Adams was asking her questions, 'which doesn't always happen,' she said. 'He is genuinely interested in women's thoughts and ideas and likes interesting, strong women.'
The ease of conversation struck Mr. Adams, too. 'We were able to talk instantly about a variety of subjects effortlessly for two hours,' he said.
At the end of the evening, as Mr. Adams was walking Ms. Seim out of the restaurant, she realized that the shiny bracelet she had worn — which, alas, he doesn't recall noticing — was gone.
When she told Mr. Adams it was missing, he 'crawled under the tables and found it,' she said.
The two went on several more dates in the early summer months of 2017 when their work and travel schedules allowed. But they kept up 'quite the texting rapport,' Ms. Seim said.
Three months into dating, their relationship took a turn. 'We had been on four or five dates and everything seemed to be going well,' Ms. Seim said. Then she received a text from him in mid-August: He said he was dealing with some family issues and couldn't date anyone. 'I was really shocked and disappointed,' she said, but added that she earnestly wished him well.
Ms. Seim, 47, who is from Bellevue, Neb., has written children's novels like 'Horse Girl' (Penguin Random House), which is currently being developed for television with producing partner Zosia Mamet, the Audible Original series 'The Flying Flamingo Sisters' and the upcoming 'Horse Camp: A Horse Girl Mystery.' She is also a freelance television writer; a freelance journalist (who has written for The New York Times); and an actor who has appeared on 'Inside Amy Schumer' and many TV commercials. She holds a bachelor's degree from Iowa State University and a master's degree from Northwestern University, both in journalism.
Mr. Adams, 54, is a managing director and head of high yield capital for the Sumitomo Mitsui Banking Corporation. He has a bachelor's degree in economics from Franklin & Marshall College and a graduate degree in finance from the Wharton School of the University of Pennsylvania. He grew up in South Plainfield, N.J., and Chadds Ford, Pa.
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In October, Ms. Seim was planning a charity auction event for the NYC Autism Charter Schools, where she served on the junior board. 'We needed a big guest list to raise as much money as possible for the school,' she said.
On a whim, she invited a few men she had dated. The only one who came to the event was Mr. Adams, and Ms. Seim said she was 'absolutely giddy' to see him.
'I was in a better spot,' Mr. Adams said. 'She was very gracious and hung out with me all night. Plus, I accidentally won a bunch of auction items.'
One of his winnings was two tickets to see the musical 'Hello, Dolly!' on Broadway. 'I told him that I felt bad that he'd spent so much on the auction,' she said. 'He said I could make it up to him by being his date for the show.'
She wasn't sure if he was just inviting her to be polite. But once at the theater in mid-October 2017, he reached over to hold her hand.
By January, Mr. Adams asked Ms. Seim to be his girlfriend, and, the next month, he introduced her to his two sons at his home in Darien, Conn. She met his daughter, who was away at college, a few months later.
Mr. Adams's his first wife, Lisa Bonchek Adams, died of metastatic cancer in 2015. She had written extensively about her medical journey. He has three children from that marriage — Paige, 26, Colin, 22, and Tristan, 18.
The couple continue to live in both Mr. Adams's home in Connecticut and Ms. Seim's apartment in Manhattan's Stuyvesant Town development.
They became engaged in June 2023 when Mr. Adams was in Los Angeles visiting Ms. Seim, who was there for meetings about the 'Horse Girl' TV adaptation. Ms. Seim had arranged a dinner for them with friends and actually fibbed about celebrating her engagement in order to get a reservation at Nobu Malibu.
'It can be impossible to get a table there,' she said, adding that she 'knew we would be getting engaged in some months.'
Ms. Seim slipped a costume ring on her left ring finger to complete the ruse. When Mr. Adams noticed the ring, he seemed flustered, she said, and their friends, who were in on Mr. Adam's secret plan to propose, could not help but laugh at the situation.
While taking in the ocean view, one of their friends asked Ms. Seim if he could see the ring so that she would take it off, and Mr. Adams asked their friends to have a photo taken of him and Ms. Seim.
As they posed, he proposed. 'All I remember is him saying, 'You love my children like they're your own,'' Ms. Seim said.
On Feb. 15, Brian Clark, a close friend of the couple who was ordained by Universal Life Church for the event, officiated an outdoor wedding at the Palms Hotel & Spa in Miami Beach, with 101 guests in attendance. The wedding party included Ms. Seim's sister, Lindsay Seim, and Mr. Adams's three children.
The bride wore three dresses: the Swan by Esteé Couture for the ceremony; a secondhand white flapper dress with heavy beading and feather trim by Nadine Merabi for the first dance; and a mini dress by Nicole + Felicia for the after-party.
'I come from a sketch-comedy background,' said Ms. Seims, who is an alumna of the Groundlings Sunday Company in Los Angeles, 'and love a costume change.'
The groom wore a Michael Andrews Bespoke tuxedo with a white dinner jacket, along with vintage Chanel cuff links, with the interlocking 'C' motif representing Carrie and Clarke, a gift from the bride.
'I have a large family and we were all together in one place for the first time in many years,' Mr. Adams said. 'I can't imagine that it was easy, but from the beginning Carrie has always fit in perfectly with my rambunctious crew.'
When Feb. 15, 2025
Where The Palms Hotel & Spa, Miami Beach
Medical Miracle Last March, Ms. Seim's mother, Sharon Seim, had a stroke and was 'given only a 10 percent chance of survival,' said Ms. Seim, who spent several months in Florida helping with her care. 'When my mom was in a coma and on a vent and feeding tube, they put a 'recovery goal' in her room,'' Ms. Seim said. 'My sister wrote, 'Go to Carrie's wedding.''
Not only did Ms. Seim's mother make it to the wedding and walk Ms. Seim down the aisle along with her father, Donald Seim, but, the bride added, 'my mom, who has only been able to walk on her own for a few months, started grooving on the dance floor with me, my dad and my sister.'
Going For the Laugh 'My ceremony gown was on the ginormous side, including an impressively long train. As I made my way down the staircase solo, I could feel the crowd palpably holding their breaths, worried I was about to trip and fall on my face in front of 100 of my loved ones,' Ms. Seim said. 'So, I faked an off-kilter wobble and got a big laugh, which I think lifted the tension and got us off to a fun start.'
Love's a Puzzle Mr. Adam's older son, Colin, designs crosswords puzzles — including some for The New York Times. 'He created a custom, giant crossword with clues about us for guests to solve during cocktail hour,' Ms. Seim said.
It Takes All Kinds The guest list included people with a vast array of professions. As the officiant shared during the ceremony, those in attendance included, 'writers, financiers, actors, authors, doctors, nurses, EMTs, attorneys, directors, teachers, students, volunteers, entrepreneurs, musicians, crossword puzzle constructors, beekeepers — on both sides of the family — and even a couple of puppeteers and a sea lion trainer,' Mr. Clark said. 'Please find each other during cocktail hour.'