Michelle Obama: I learned this great parenting tip from my mom and dad—they did a 'beautiful job' modeling it
The former U.S. first lady's own parents did a "beautiful job of making themselves plain to us," even if that meant admitting they didn't always know what they were doing, she said on a June 18 episode of the "IMO" podcast, which she hosts with brother Craig Robinson.
"I think [our] mom and dad modeled that for us in a really powerful way," Obama said, adding that the siblings' late mother Marian Robinson was particularly "very up front with us about her strengths, but also her weaknesses. She talked to us about everything and tried to put her parenting lessons in some context for us."
Robinson agreed, recalling their mother saying "on more than one occasion: 'Hey, look, this is my first time being a parent. So, I'm not sure if I'm doing this right.'"
That "always resonated with me," Robinson continued, noting that their parents' transparency helped him see his parents as "just regular folks [who were] trying to figure it out."
Their mother, who died in 2024, once noted herself that "parents think they have to know all the answers," which can be a source of stress, she said in 2020 on an episode of "The Michelle Obama Podcast."
"Nobody knows all the answers," she said at the time. "I was very comfortable saying, 'I don't know.'"
Being open about your own limitations, as a parent and a person, can be a safe way to remind your children that you don't expect perfection, and neither should they. Parents who are transparent about their mistakes — and can explain how they strive to learn from them — effectively model mental toughness to their kids, which is a key to becoming a successful adult, psychologist Allison Butler told CNBC Make It on January 23, 2024.
"You can be more confident in [your] desired outcome if you have opened yourself up to feedback and testing and prototyping along the way," said Butler.
Parents who model accountability to their children by admitting mistakes after they happen, apologizing when necessary, have a better chance of raising successful kids, some experts say. Doing so helps your kids see how a mature person can identify and articulate their emotions to de-escalate conflict, psychologist Caroline Fleck wrote for in April.
Obama believes it's important for parents to learn that "your kids don't need you to be an expert on [parenting]," she said on the "IMO" podcast.
"That was some of the wisdom that [our parents] understood..." she added. "Showing your flaws to your children [is] not always a bad thing. It's OK to say that you're afraid or that you don't know, or that you're not sure — and to make [your kids] a part of a bigger conversation."
Being vulnerable with your children isn't a path toward losing your authority, Obama said. If anything, she said, her parents' openness "gave us context to how they were parented [and] what they thought their parents got right and wrong."
Those conversations helped Obama and her brother "understand their principles of parenting," giving them a framework for how to confidently raise their own children when they became parents.
Being transparent with your kids can help you show them some respect, which can build their confidence, parenting coach and author Reem Raouda wrote on June 22.
"Explaining your reasoning, even just briefly, helps your child feel respected," wrote Raouda. "You're not debating or negotiating — you're modeling respectful leadership. [Explaining yourself] acknowledges their feelings and reinforces that you're in charge in a calm, grounded way."
Try Our AI Features
Explore what Daily8 AI can do for you:
Comments
No comments yet...
Related Articles
CNBC
2 days ago
- CNBC
This viral, women-only app lets you anonymously ‘spill tea' on men—it could actually make dating harder, relationship expert says
Women across social media are buzzing about Tea, an anonymous dating-safety app where they 'spill tea' — typically gossip, secrets and juicy information— on the men they're dating. But the app has gone viral for all the wrong reasons. Tea was founded in November 2022 by software engineer Sean Cook to help women feel more protected. He was inspired by his mom's bad experiences with online dating — connecting with a catfish and even a criminal, he wrote on LinkedIn. The women-only platform became available for download in 2023 with features like criminal background checks and reverse image search, and it's currently number one on the lifestyle app charts with four million users and a 4.7/5 star rating. But recently, users have shown less interest in helping and more in shaming. Some videos on TikTok, where the app is currently trending, show women giving men "red flag" and "green flag" reviews based on personal preferences like attractiveness, personality and style, even speculating about their sexuality, finances and how many partners they've had. Moreover, the app was designed to be private, as screenshots are impossible and women are vetted before being allowed access. Yet users have recorded posts for social media, opening the door for more potentially damaging, defamatory comments. That's why apps like these can backfire, says Jourdan Travers, a psychotherapist who's worked with over 100 couples. "Swiping, receiving rejections, and navigating online communication are stressful enough, and Tea sounds like the app that is trying to minimize or remove that discomfort," she tells CNBC Make It. "This initially sounds great, but it doesn't live up to the hype in practice because well-intentioned action can be harmful." Fifty-seven percent of women say that, in general, dating sites and apps are not a safe way to meet people, according to a 2022 survey from Pew Research Center. But in today's digital age, it's one of the easiest, and most popular, ways to meet people — so it's no surprise that the Tea app has garnered so many fans. "It's seductive, an app that I can use to gather information about someone I've never met," says Travers. "But in reality, it can kill curiosity and create a dating dynamic that's more about others than you. A representative for Tea declined CNBC Make It's request for comment. Travers, who is also the clinical director at telehealth company Awake Therapy, adds that using the platform in hopes of finding juicy gossip or learning every detail about a guy before your first date takes away the opportunity to use your discernment and personal intuition. It also spoils the excitement of making a first impression and building an authentic connection. "It sends a message to yourself not to trust your judgment and intuition. That you lack the capacity or capability to make decisions about your romantic life, so you need others to validate or affirm that decision instead," she says. "Once you've read something negative—whether factual or not—your brain is wired to start scanning for evidence that supports it. You're walking into the date with a script, not curiosity, and first dates shouldn't feel like a job interview." The Tea app has been a good source of information and community for lots of women, users say. One App Store review from "AnaNamle" says she was able to freely talk about a traumatic experience with a guy, and connected with another woman who had a similar, but "worse" encounter. A user called "Lala1922$" says she found out a man who was contacting her had domestic violence charges and was awaiting trial. To gain some knowledge of these kinds of red flags, some "light vetting can be protective," Travers says, like doing a quick google search or making sure that their social media profiles are legit. Other questions and concerns might be better addressed by trusted friends and family. It's also important to take a few precautionary measures before a date, like meeting in a public place for your first encounter, letting someone know where you're going and with whom beforehand and not sharing personal or sensitive information immediately. "Aside from that, let the rest unfold organically, and don't skip the part where you learn who they are," she says.
Hamilton Spectator
4 days ago
- Hamilton Spectator
Ottawa stalls while cruise ships dump toxic wastewater along West Coast
Cruise vessels are leaving billions of litres of wastewater in their wake despite longtime promises of action by the federal government. Most water pollution discharged by ships showcasing the beauty of the coast is pumped out by scrubbers — an exhaust-cleaning system that uses seawater to 'wash' sulphur dioxide, toxic metals and carcinogens from ship fumes, only to flush them into the ocean. The devices are widely used by the cruise industry and act as a loophole for shipping companies to continue burning cheaper, dirty, heavy fuel oils while still complying with the International Maritime Organization's (IMO) 2020 sulfur emissions standards , said Anna Barford, oceans campaigner for Canada. The federal government, which promised to examine the issue of scrubbers in marine conservation areas in early 2023, held a general two-month public consultation on the exhaust systems early this year. The Transport Canada public input process didn't include details about what, if any, scrubber restrictions are being considered, nor any timelines for action. Despite a host of Canadian and international marine conservation groups urging a ban on scrubbers in national waters, there's been no feedback or apparent movement by Ottawa to date, Barford said. While Ottawa drags its feet, the problem is intensifying: There was a 14-fold increase in the total number of ships employing scrubber technology in coastal waters between 2018 and 2022, according to the Canadian government's own data . All ships employing scrubbers — including cruise ships, cargo ships, tankers and more — dumped an estimated 88 million tonnes of acidic wastewater laced with toxic metals along the BC coast in 2022 alone. Among them, cruise ships were the worst offender, pumping out nearly half of scrubber wastewater despite only making up five per cent of the vessels using the systems, Barford noted. All vessels using scrubbers, including container ships and tankers, dumped 26,000 kilograms of different toxic metals in scrubber wastewater along the coast, according to Environment and Climate Change Canada. Nearly a third of that amount was discharged into critical habitat for endangered southern resident killer whales. The constant stream of heavy metals and other pollutants into the marine environment doesn't only imperil the survival of the 73 remaining orcas and the Chinook salmon that rely on them, but has serious implications for human health as well, said Stephanie Hewson, a staff lawyer with West Coast Environmental Law, which called for a ban on scrubbers . In addition to threatening the reproductive health of the whales and impairing shell formation in clams, oysters and crabs, the pollutants can impact marine life across large distances, potentially contaminating food sources like shellfish, she said. 'We're talking about ocean and ecosystem health, but we're also talking about the food we're eating,' Hewson said, adding numerous shipping lanes run near shellfish harvesting areas and aquaculture operations. Scrubbers transform air pollution into water pollution and simply swap one environmental problem for another, instead of simply mandating ships to use cleaner but more costly fuels, she said. 'I think our food sources are more important than fuel cost savings,' Hewson said. Research by the International Council on Clean Transportation for the federal government in 2020 found that in addition to water pollutants, ships using scrubbers emit higher levels of carbon pollution, harmful air particles and black carbon — which pose serious health risks and accelerate climate change by darkening snow and ice, causing it to melt faster, especially in the Arctic. The council has also urged the federal government to immediately stop allowing new scrubbers systems to be installed on vessels transiting national waters. It also called for an immediate ban on scrubber discharges into sensitive waters, such as marine-protected areas, coastal waters, the Arctic and internal waterways, including the Great Lakes. It also suggested Canada phase out all types of scrubber systems in all national waters within three years. The Canadian Shipping Federation declined an interview request by Canada's National Observer but did provide its views to Transport Canada on potential scrubber restrictions. The federation suggested any scrubber regulations should reflect international rules, take into account operational realities, and rather than regulating scrubbers, Canada should offer incentives that spur the development of net-zero fuels and technologies. Canada should continue its international work on scrubbers at the IMO to avoid a 'patchwork' of varying rules at ports and different regions that increases the complexity of shipping operations and the risk of violating scrubber regulations, the federation said. The federation acknowledged there's existing science on the harms of wastewater discharge to marine life and Canada's recent IMO submissions detailing air quality and human health concerns tied to scrubbers . However, some research 'paints a different picture,' the shipping group said, referencing an unspecified Transport Canada port study that suggested scrubber discharge impacts on water quality are minimal. Canada is contemplating scrubber discharge regulations in marine-protected areas, but rerouting vessels to avoid conservation sites may lengthen journeys, increasing carbon and particle pollution elsewhere, the federation said. Fuel-switching mid-journey could also increase safety risks such as engine failure, it said. Barford dismissed the assertion that science is still out on the harms associated with scrubber wastewater, noting there is plenty of peer-reviewed research on the subject. Hewson agreed, noting concern based on science is widespread worldwide . The ports of Vancouver and Prince Rupert have prohibited scrubber discharges and the Union of BC Municipalities (UBCM) unanimously supported a ban on scrubber discharge and the use of cleaner fuels by vessels in 2022. California has already enacted cleaner fuel rules and a ban on scrubber discharge in coastal waters, while Denmark, Sweden and Finland launched a phased ban this month that will see all scrubber systems eliminated by 2029. More than a dozen European nations have pledged to do the same in the Northeast Atlantic starting next year. The international rules set by the IMO should be considered the basement, not the ceiling, for scrubber rules, said Barford, who added that no international law prevents countries from protecting sensitive waters in their national jurisdiction. She also disputed that regulations would be unduly harmful to business. 'Most of the vessels operating around the world have already switched to cleaner fuels and are seemingly doing business just fine,' she said. If the cruise industry and global shipping sector are looking to avoid the complexity associated with meeting varying scrubber bans, they could make the switch to cleaner fuels overnight, she said. 'Using scrubbers adds complexity,' Barford said. 'If simplicity is their goal, the easiest thing is just to put cleaner fuel in their tank.' Canada's statistics on scrubber discharge were only released after filed a complaint to the Commission for Environmental Cooperation (CEC), an international forum where Canada, the US and Mexico address shared environmental concerns. The CEC secretariat has now recommended its council take the next step and establish a 'factual record' — an investigation into how Canada is enforcing pollution regulations under the federal Fisheries Act related to scrubber wastewater. The CEC complaint is in a holding pattern until the commission's council decides its next step, but now the federal government has 'no plausible deniability' about the harm scrubber waste water poses to ocean health and marine life, Barford said. 'We're thrilled with how the CEC process has gone so far,' she said. 'Canada's reply provides unequivocal evidence that they know that there's a problem, and it's impacting southern resident killer whales.' A summary of the public input on scrubbers will be released later this summer, and extensive consultations with the maritime industry, Indigenous groups and port authorities will begin in the fall, said Transport Canada in an email. The ministry didn't answer questions about when it would roll out scrubber rules for marine conservation areas. It also didn't clarify if it's considering any other regulations to protect coastal communities, important marine resources, or sensitive nearshore waters. Transport Canada Minister Chrystia Freeland declined an interview request with Canada's National Observer. Rochelle Baker / Local Journalism Initiative / Canada's National Observer Error! Sorry, there was an error processing your request. There was a problem with the recaptcha. Please try again. You may unsubscribe at any time. By signing up, you agree to our terms of use and privacy policy . This site is protected by reCAPTCHA and the Google privacy policy and terms of service apply. Want more of the latest from us? Sign up for more at our newsletter page .
Business Insider
5 days ago
- Business Insider
Shaping futures foundation: How Cordell Robinson is laying the groundwork for Africa's next generation
It began, as Robinson tells it, over a simple dinner with a friend. She encouraged him to explore Zanzibar and Dar es Salaam, suggesting he might find meaningful ways to give back. He took her advice, and what began as a short trip turned into the foundation for something far more enduring. Today, Shaping Futures Foundation, the nonprofit organization Robinson founded, is taking root in East Africa with the bold aim of preparing youth not just to survive but thrive. 'I went to orphanages. I met with council members. But most importantly, I talked to the kids,' Robinson says. 'I wanted to hear directly from them on what they needed, what they hoped for. That's what shaped the mission.' That mission is simple in concept, ambitious in scale: provide holistic, globally oriented education and life skills to under-resourced children and communities, starting in Tanzania, then expanding across the African continent. The vision? A state-of-the-art boarding school that integrates STEM education, agriculture, vocational training, and financial literacy, designed to instill lifelong learning and practical self-sufficiency. But building something that ambitious takes time and money. So Robinson, ever pragmatic, started where he could: a small orphanage currently home to three children. 'We're small right now,' he says, 'but those kids go to school during the day and come back to exercises and learning in the evening. We're giving them a foundation, not just academically, but emotionally and mentally, to know their worth and imagine their future.' At the heart of Shaping Futures is a radical departure from rote academics. Robinson wants to prepare students for the real world. The future school's curriculum will go far beyond books: plumbing, electrical work, road construction, culinary arts, welding, and home economics will all be core components. Students will also learn how money works, how to launch businesses, and how to engage in a global economy. Robinson further explains, 'It's about creating options. If they want to go to university, great. But if they want to go straight into the workforce or launch something of their own, they'll have the tools. They'll have the confidence.' Crucially, Robinson also sees global exposure as essential to developing tomorrow's leaders. His long-term plan includes international exchanges and travel, ensuring students are academically trained and culturally equipped. 'You can't fully understand this world if you've never seen outside your own community,' he says. 'Exposure changes everything.' For Robinson, Africa isn't just a region of need. It's a region of potential. With economies in Nigeria, Ghana, South Africa, Egypt, and beyond on the rise, Robinson believes the continent is set to become the world's next economic hub. But it must be prepared. That's where the nonprofit and Robinson's for-profit business intersect. As the founder and CEO of Brownstone Consulting Firm (BCF), a cybersecurity and program support services company, Robinson is also actively expanding into African markets. His goal: support local businesses, governments, and institutions in integrating cybersecurity best practices at the ground level. He says, 'We're seeing rapid tech growth, but without the right protections, all that progress is vulnerable. By integrating cybersecurity early in the development of systems, we avoid the costly and dangerous mistakes that come from tacking it on later.' In regions where digital infrastructure is still maturing, Robinson believes proactive cybersecurity combined with workforce training will be a key driver of this competitiveness. Though the structures differ, both Shaping Futures Foundation and BCF are extensions of the same belief: education, economic opportunity, and cybersecurity are pillars of sustainable development. While the Foundation builds from the ground up, nurturing children and training them for real-world impact, BCF enters from the top down, partnering with private companies and government entities to implement scalable cybersecurity and compliance solutions. 'We're building the human capital pipeline through the Foundation,' Robinson says. 'And through BCF, we're making sure the companies these young people will eventually work for or start themselves are secure, trusted, and globally competitive.' While the vision is large, the invitation is simple. Robinson encourages individuals, corporations, and philanthropists alike to support the Foundation's work, whether through donations, volunteering, or site visits. 'We have a partner, Catherine Naigisa of Ncamo Safari Adventures, on the ground in Tanzania who runs safaris,' he says. 'If someone wants to visit the orphanage, volunteer, or bring supplies, they can. Combine it with a once-in-a-lifetime trip through the Serengeti. It's about connection.' Future fundraising campaigns are in development, and the Foundation's website is set up for direct donations. 'Every bit helps. Whether it's books, food, time, or dollars, it's all part of the bigger picture,' the founder says. Robinson's work in Africa, both nonprofit and for-profit, reflects a broader philosophy: real economic transformation begins with people, especially youth. He says, 'When you invest in kids, you invest in generations. When you secure a business's data, you secure its future. When you give a child the tools to think critically, to build, to pivot, they can do anything. And when enough kids do that, entire nations change.' Africa may indeed be the next epicenter of global commerce. But for Robinson, it's not about racing to the top; it's about raising others up along the way. --
