logo
My money rule to avoid arguments with my housemates and girlfriend – it's fair but not everyone will agree

My money rule to avoid arguments with my housemates and girlfriend – it's fair but not everyone will agree

The Sun09-06-2025
THERE'S nothing more British than the silence at the end of a meal in a restaurant as you wait for someone to say how you'll split the bill.
With my mates and girlfriend there's an unwritten rule that we always split the bill equally based on how many of us there are.
1
Of course, this can get tricky if someone hasn't had booze or a much cheaper meal, as it can feel like they've got a raw deal.
On the other hand, there's always one in every friendship group who orders an extra side and pudding.
I can't help but feel a bit resentful that I'm funding their extra indulgence.
So I wasn't surprised to hear that the number one issue that couples row about is money, according to Royal London.
It gets even more complicated when you go on holiday.
I've often found myself in scenarios with mates where people have taken umbrage at having to split the cost of a night out the day after.
Other times people have kicked up a fuss about splitting the cost of off the cuff activities.
The bill splitting app I swear by
A few years ago on a weekend away with University mates where we play sport, including football, cricket and rounders, one of my friends suggested we use Splitwise.
We were trying to figure out how to share the cost of all the food and drink we'd bought when one friend recommended using the app.
It's free to download off the Apple App Store or Google Play and couldn't be easier to navigate.
There's also a Pro version which costs £3.99 a month or £39.99 a year, letting you add an unlimited number of expenses and scan and add receipts to a running your running total.
Once downloaded, you create a new group (of friends, family or between you and a partner) and can allocate a "type" to that group.
For example, you can make it a "trip", "home" or "couple"-based group.
Once you've done this, you add any expenses to the group and can decide how it's split between the members.
The options are:
you paid, split equally
you are owed the full amount
someone else paid, split equally
someone else paid and is owed the full amount
Once you've added any expenses, they are added to a grand total which tells you whether you owe money, or are owed it.
How it has made my life easier
Splitwise has easily become one of my most-used apps, especially since moving in with my partner a year ago.
We use it to split the cost of the weekly food shop, monthly utility bills and takeaways.
You might ask "why would you need a bill-splitting app" for these basic expenses, but in reality it's a lifesaver.
Her job involves shift work and I work occasional weekends meaning we can sometimes go days without having a proper conversation.
So being able to quickly add a little Tesco Express basket of food or a holiday car rental cost to the app in a matter of seconds, and know how much each person owes, makes for a much more efficient way of tracking our shared expenses.
Using the app for trips abroad with friends has been incredibly helpful as well, especially with larger groups.
I've used it on stag dos where costs can quickly add up and various members of the group have different budgets and need to track how much they've spent.
Putting everything through the app can avoid awkward conversations where you ask for a few quid back.
It might seem stingy that I'm quibbling with my girlfriend and mates over a couple of quid - but it can quickly add up and it really helps us all feel like things are fair.
Other apps you could use
Unsurprisingly, Splitwise is not the only bill-splitting app out there.
There is also Settle Up which also comes in a basic free version and works similarly to Splitwise.
You can also pay £3.99 a month for Premium which comes with no ads, charts and lets you scan receipts.
The app comes with a 4.8* rating on the Apple App Store, compared with 3.8* for Splitwise.
Splid is another option which comes with no ads even in the free version.
You can also choose to add expenses in 150 currencies while on the Apple App Store reviews show it with a 4.9* rating.
Then there's acasa, which unlike Splid, Settle Up and Splitwise, lets you pay bills like council tax directly through the app.
It's free to download and comes with a 4.5* customer rating on the Apple App Store.
How to avoid finance-based tension in relationships
WE spoke to Vicky Reynal, financial psychotherapist, who shared her tips for avoiding arguments over money:
Don't assume that everyone has the same money values
People have different views when it comes to money: what's frugal or excessive, what's too risky vs. responsible, what's reasonable or petty.
We can't assume that others will see what's right or fair the same way we'll see it come up all the time because we all have different views on what money is for and how it should be used.
When conflict comes up, be curious not attacking
When couples or close friends clash over money, the most powerful thing they can do is create a safe space for honest conversations - free from blame.
Instead of trying to convince the other that they are wrong and you are right, try to be curious about why they might be seeing things their way and share how you feel about it.
It can be helpful – particularly when couples have very different ways of handling money – to ask: 'What are the downsides of my approach to money?' and 'What are the upsides of theirs?'
As an example, your caution might protect your future, but your partner's spontaneity might help you live more fully in the present.
Once you begin appreciating each other's perspectives, it becomes easier to blend approaches and make collaborative financial decisions.
Common sources of conflict I see involve informal financial arrangements among loved ones: 'I thought it was a gift—now they're asking for it back.' 'I thought we were splitting the cost evenly'.
The real issue usually lies in the lack of clarity from the start. People often avoid being specific because they don't want to make things 'weird' with someone they care about—but it's precisely because you care that it's essential to set clear, unambiguous expectations.
Use financial tools and apps thoughtfully
Apps like Splitwise or Monzo's shared tabs can be great tools for transparency but it's best when they are introduced early and used consistently.
If you bring them in after tension has built, they can sometimes feel accusatory. Frame their use as a shared effort to be fair, not to keep score or place blame.
If conflict persists, look at the bigger picture
What I mean by this is that sometimes money conflict is not about money at all. Sometimes a friend making a big deal about £7 you owe them could actually be feeling owed a lot more (has she felt you have been a neglecting friend lately?).
A partner who is uncomfortable because you spent 'too much' on a gift might be feeling they don't have enough to give you emotionally in the relationship.
The point is: ask yourself whether there is a different message that you or the other are trying to convey through this financial conflict.
Orange background

Try Our AI Features

Explore what Daily8 AI can do for you:

Comments

No comments yet...

Related Articles

BT to appoint Virgin Media O2's Cobian as CFO, Telegraph reports
BT to appoint Virgin Media O2's Cobian as CFO, Telegraph reports

Reuters

time27 minutes ago

  • Reuters

BT to appoint Virgin Media O2's Cobian as CFO, Telegraph reports

July 23 (Reuters) - BT Group (BT.L), opens new tab, Britain's biggest broadband and mobile services provider, is set to name Virgin Media O2's chief financial officer, Patricia Cobian, as its first female finance chief, The Telegraph reported on Wednesday, citing unnamed sources. Cobian held the finance chief position at Telefonica's UK mobile network O2 since 2016, before transitioning to the same role at Virgin Media O2 following the completion of the 50-50 joint venture between Telefonica ( opens new tab and Liberty Global (LBTYA.O), opens new tab in 2021. BT and Virgin Media O2 declined to comment on the report. Sky News reported on Monday that BT was looking for a new finance chief to succeed Simon Lowth, who will retire within a year. He was appointed BT CFO in 2016. Cobian would join BT at a time when it is looking to cut costs through layoffs and advances in artificial intelligence. "Depending on what we learn from AI . . . there may be an opportunity for BT to be even smaller by the end of the decade," Chief Executive Allison Kirkby told Financial Times in June. The company said in 2023 that it planned to cut as many as 55,000 jobs, including contractors, by 2030.

A sensible SUV gets a rally-style makeover in the Vauxhall Mokka GSE
A sensible SUV gets a rally-style makeover in the Vauxhall Mokka GSE

The Independent

time29 minutes ago

  • The Independent

A sensible SUV gets a rally-style makeover in the Vauxhall Mokka GSE

Vauxhall's high-performance, all-electric Mokka GSE has got the green light, and it's set to be the fastest battery-electric Vauxhall ever built. The new GSE has been inspired by the Mokka GSE Rally prototype, using much of the tech and styling tweaks previewed by the concept seen earlier this year. The production Mokka GSE packs an impressive 276bhp, promising thrilling performance that Vauxhall says bridges the gap between rallying excitement and everyday usability. With an instant torque delivery of 345Nm, it rockets from standstill to 62mph in just 5.9 seconds, topping out at a lively 124mph. Under the skin, the Mokka GSE features a raft of performance-enhancing technology alongside a 54kWh battery. It uses the same high-voltage components – motor, inverter, battery, and wiring harness – as the rally-spec Mokka GSE Rally. There's a special Torsen multi-plate limited-slip differential designed to keep power delivery sharp and precise. Meanwhile, an upgraded chassis with new axles, double hydraulic shock absorbers, and a rear axle boasting a 189 per cent increase in roll stiffness over the standard Mokka Electric ensures exceptional handling. Stopping power is provided by huge 380mm front brakes sourced from specialists Alcon, gripped by striking yellow four-piston calipers, while aerodynamically optimised 20-inch alloys are wrapped in Michelin Pilot Sport EV tyres. With a kerb weight comfortably below 1.6 tonnes – remarkably light for a battery-electric vehicle – the Mokka GSE promises not just performance, but also agility and efficiency. There's no word yet on a maximum range for the high-performance Mokka, but the latest models promise 250 miles, so expect the high-performance model to be slightly below that. The Mokka GSE offers three distinct driving modes tailored to the driver's mood and need. 'Sport' mode unlocks its full potential, delivering maximum power and responsiveness. 'Normal' mode provides balanced everyday driving up to 112mph, while 'Eco' trims performance settings to maximise range from the compact 54kWh lithium-ion battery. Visually, the Mokka GSE looks the part. Exclusive design details inspired by its rally sibling ensure it stands out. A purposeful front spoiler, bespoke rear accents, and unique yellow and black GSE badging highlight the car's motorsport DNA. Inside, Vauxhall hasn't held back either. The cabin is crafted around performance-focused details, dominated by sporty Alcantara-clad GSE seats featuring integrated headrests, stylish yellow stitching, and a distinctive white centre stripe. Matching Alcantara inserts on the doors reinforce the sporty theme. Technology hasn't been overlooked, with the driver facing a customisable 10-inch digital information display that includes specialised GSE performance metrics such as acceleration data, G-force monitoring, and battery management insights. The central colour touchscreen echoes these cues, ensuring the driver is fully informed and engaged. Revealing the new Mokka GSE, Vauxhall's managing director Steve Catlin summed it up nicely: "The new Mokka GSE brings motorsport energy to the streets. Using years of pioneering electric motorsport experience, we've poured our best engineering, power, and handling into a car designed for daily thrills." Pricing and first delivery times aren't known yet, but with the level of technology on offer, we'd expect it to be just above the £37,280 of the electric Mokka Ultimate model, probably coming in at just under £40,000 to avoid the luxury car tax. We'd expect this first GSE model to arrive in showrooms towards the end of this year.

Keir Starmer and Narendra Modi set to sign off on Britain-India trade deal
Keir Starmer and Narendra Modi set to sign off on Britain-India trade deal

North Wales Chronicle

time34 minutes ago

  • North Wales Chronicle

Keir Starmer and Narendra Modi set to sign off on Britain-India trade deal

The Prime Minister and his Indian counterpart also agreed ahead of their meeting on Thursday to ramp up joint efforts to tackle illegal migration and organised crime. The UK-India trade deal is understood to be the largest of its kind for its economic impact on Britain. It will see tariffs on an array of British goods reduced from an average of 15% to 3%, with the aim of boosting the £11 billion of imports into the south Asian nation. Whisky tariffs will be slashed in half, according to the Government, and will fall further over successive years, while other industries including soft drinks, cars and cosmetics are also expected to see cheaper duties. Before his meeting with Mr Modi to confirm the deal, Sir Keir said: 'Our landmark trade deal with India is a major win for Britain. It will create thousands of British jobs across the UK, unlock new opportunities for businesses and drive growth in every corner of the country, delivering on our Plan for Change. 'We're putting more money in the pockets of hardworking Brits and helping families with the cost of living, and we're determined to go further and faster to grow the economy and raise living standards across the UK.' The deal is expected to result in 2,200 jobs across the country and £6 billion investment by British and Indian businesses. Business Secretary Jonathan Reynolds said the investment will 'reach all regions and nations of the UK so working people in every community can feel the benefits'. He added: 'The almost £6 billion in new investment and export wins announced today will deliver thousands of jobs and shows the strength of our partnership with India as we ensure the UK is the best place in the world to invest and do business.' The UK and India are also bolstering co-operation on tackling corruption, fraud, organised crime and illegal migration, by sharing criminal records and other intelligence. The deal has not given the UK as much access as it would have liked to India's financial and legal services industries. The agreement promises some benefits for the UK's financial services, with Chancellor Rachel Reeves understood to have pushed on behalf of the sector in discussions with her Indian counterpart. But more wide-ranging access was not agreed, and talks continue on a bilateral investment treaty aimed at protecting British investments in India and vice versa. The two nations also continue to discuss UK plans for a tax on high-carbon industries, which India believes could hit its imports unfairly. Negotiations on the deal began when Boris Johnson was prime minister in 2022, and were concluded in May this year. Labour sought to portray closing the deal, as well as trade agreements with the US and the EU, as evidence of the Government's pragmatism and global outlook. But shadow business secretary Andrew Griffith said it had only been made possible 'because of Brexit delivered by the Conservatives'. He added: 'Any trade deal that can successfully cut regulation which stops Britain's makers from creating new jobs and wealth will be a step in the right direction. 'But the irony should not be lost on anyone that any gains from this trade deal will be blown out of the water by (Deputy Prime Minister) Angela Rayner's union charter, stifling business with red tape, the jobs tax and, come autumn, Rachel Reeves' inevitable tax hikes that will punish Britain's makers just to reward those who do not contribute.' The Confederation of British Industry (CBI) has said that the signing 'sends a powerful signal that the UK is open for business and remains resolute in its commitment to free and fair trade'. Chief executive Rain Newton-Smith added: 'A trade agreement with India – one of the world's fastest-growing economies – is a springboard for long-term partnership and prosperity. UK firms can take advantage of this new platform to scale, diversify and compete on the global stage.' Elsewhere, Sir Keir is facing calls to raise the case of Jagtar Singh Johal, a British citizen who has been detained in India since 2017, when the Prime Minister meets Mr Modi. The Scottish Sikh is accused of being a member of the Khalistan Liberation Force, which is banned as a terror group in India. His family say he is being arbitrarily detained, with his brother Gurpreet Singh Johal insisting the matter should be 'high on the agenda when the prime ministers meet'.

DOWNLOAD THE APP

Get Started Now: Download the App

Ready to dive into a world of global content with local flavor? Download Daily8 app today from your preferred app store and start exploring.
app-storeplay-store