How to keep the romance alive after welcoming a baby
Congrats! Welcoming a baby into your lives is one of the most profound transitions a couple can experience.
It's joyful, exhausting, and, at times, incredibly overwhelming…my 'babies' are now teens and I can't begin to tell you how quickly that has gone!
Suddenly, sleep becomes a distant memory, your conversations revolve around feeding schedules and nappy changes, and the romantic spark you once had feels buried under a mountain of laundry.
If you're finding it hard to stay connected as new parents, you are far from alone. A landmark study by the Gottman Institute found that 67% of couples experience a significant decline in relationship satisfaction during the first three years of parenthood.
But here's the good news: it doesn't have to stay that way. The key is recognising that this phase is tough, yet temporary, and taking small but intentional steps to protect your connection along the way.
The first thing to acknowledge is that you're both under a lot of pressure.
Exhaustion, hormonal changes, shifting roles, and sheer lack of time can make even the strongest couples feel off-kilter. It's normal.
What's important is how you respond to this season. Instead of waiting for the 'perfect moment' to reconnect (spoiler alert: it may not come for a while), create tiny moments of connection where you can.
A six-second kiss, a five-minute cuddle on the couch, or even just holding hands while your baby naps can all help reinforce your bond.
Communication is another vital ingredient. It's easy to fall into a routine where all your conversations are about the baby or the house. So, carve out time, even if it's ten minutes at the end of the day, to check in with each other emotionally.
Ask things like, 'How are you really doing?' or 'What's something that made you smile today?' These little questions remind you that you're still partners, not just co-parents.
Sharing the load is also crucial. One partner shouldn't feel like they're carrying the emotional or physical burden alone.
According to a 2022 Australian study on parental wellbeing, couples who report a balanced division of responsibilities experience 40% less conflict in the first year of parenting.
Talk about what feels fair and be open to adjusting as your needs evolve. Remember, it's not about keeping score, it's about supporting each other as a team.
As strange as it may sound, scheduling intimacy or alone time is not only okay, it's often necessary.
The spontaneity of pre-baby days might be on hold for now, but that doesn't mean intimacy has to disappear.
Even planning a 'mini date night' at home once a week…pizza, PJs, and a movie, can help bring back some romance and fun.
Finally, give yourselves grace. This chapter is a rollercoaster, and you won't always get it right.
Some days will be magical; others will be messy. What matters is that you're choosing to show up for each other, even in the chaos.
At the end of the day, being a parent is one role you play, but being partners is the foundation that holds it all together.
Because after all, the love you have may look different now, but with care and commitment, it can grow into something even deeper.
Your bestie,
Amanda x
Amanda Lambros is a sexologist and relationship coach with almost two decades of experience who takes pride in her 'no b-s' approach to solving your problems. She is also a certified speaking professional and has written several books on relationships, health and business which have sold more than 150,000 copies.
Do you have a question for Amanda? Email heybestie@wanews.com.au (don't worry, we won't publish your name!)
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