FLOURISHING AFTER 50: I've found love again - but now my kids are worried they'll lose their inheritance

Daily Mail​

3 days ago

Dear Vanessa,
I never thought I'd be writing to you, but here I am at 56, divorced for 10 years, and finally with a man who makes me feel alive again. We met on a hiking trip, and it's been wonderful – until we started talking about moving in together.
He wants us to sell our homes and buy something new. I have more equity, so naturally, I'd be putting in more. My kids are worried I'll lose their inheritance if things don't work out. He thinks I'm overthinking it and that love means trusting each other.
After everything I've been through, I just want to protect myself and my future. But I don't want money fears to ruin what could be the best chapter of my life. How do couples in their 50s blend finances without breaking their relationship?
Wishing for guidance,
Linda.
Linda, congratulations on finding love again. Many people in their 50s believe that part of their life is over, so it's wonderful you've found happiness. You're also wise to pause and think before making big financial moves. Love is about trust, but later-in-life relationships often come with complex money matters that need clear agreements.
When you've spent decades building your assets and raising children, combining finances isn't as simple as when you were younger. A co-habitation or prenuptial agreement can outline exactly what would happen if you separated. Far from being unromantic, it creates confidence that both of you will be treated fairly, allowing you to enjoy the relationship without financial anxiety hanging over you.
If you decide to buy a home together, you don't need to split ownership 50/50. Many couples use arrangements where each person owns a percentage of the property that matches what they've contributed. This also allows you to leave your share to your children rather than it automatically passing to your partner if something happens to you. It's one of the most effective ways to protect family inheritance while still buying together.
At 56, your pension and retirement savings are key to your long-term security. Putting too much of your equity into a shared home may leave you with less flexibility later to invest, increase your pension contributions, or cover healthcare needs. While your main home usually isn't counted in means-tested benefits, locking up most of your wealth in property can limit your options if life changes. Keeping some money separate can help you maintain independence and peace of mind well into your 70s and beyond.
Money can be an uncomfortable topic, especially after divorce, but having open and calm conversations now is crucial. A financial adviser who understands blended families can model different scenarios for you – whether you keep separate homes, buy together equally, or use different ownership shares – so you can see exactly what's at stake. If you don't have an adviser, you can use my free service to find one who's right for you here.
With professional advice and the right agreements in place, you can protect your children's inheritance, safeguard your retirement, and still build a secure and happy future with your new partner.
Wishing you happiness and peace of mind,