The dos and don'ts of networking

Business Insider

07-06-2025

You might be networking all wrong — and that could be more detrimental than ever before.
In the age of AI-generated applications and a tough market for many desk workers, making connections can be key to landing a job. Career coaches and etiquette experts told Business Insider about some of their dos and don'ts of networking.
Be specific
Too often, people blast out generic LinkedIn messages that will never stand out.
"You can't go into it cold," Jasmine Escalera, a career expert with MyPerfectResume, told BI, referring to networking. "That doesn't mean that you can't go into it making a cold connection, but you can't go into it just without a connection."
That connection doesn't always have to be strictly professional, Escalara said. You could, for example, find a common hobby. When it comes to online outreach, send a tailored message instead of a boilerplate one.
Madeline Mann, a career coach and CEO of Self Made Millennial, offered similar advice.
"If you're going to ask for 15 minutes of their time, be sure to show that you spent 15 minutes of yours," she said.
Generally, though, social media alone isn't enough. Brandon Dock, managing director of the recruitment firm TGC Search, said that talking to people in person is always best.
"I have always been a fan of using social media and other online tools as part of your arsenal, but it is a grave mistake to think of it as the entirety of your networking strategy," Dorie Clark, a communication coach who teaches at Columbia Business School and wrote the book "The Long Game," told BI.
Keep it professional — even online
While it's great to bond over hobbies, it's crucial to maintain professionalism. At in-person events, that often means limiting alcohol to one glass, Escalera said.
On social media platforms you're using for outreach, she said to maintain a "professional tone" and "tight brand."
Gen Zers can sometimes struggle to balance between professionalism and friendliness, Escalera and Lisa Richey, the founder of the American Academy of Etiquette, said.
"The formality of a handshake — you can never go wrong," Richey said. "It shows leadership. It shows confidence."
Dress for the industry
Now that in-person schmoozing is back, dressing the part is crucial, but each industry requires a slightly different look.
"Dress the way someone would in that office or in the industry, with a step up," Mann said. She said that no matter your gender, a button-down top is a safe bet. Escalera advised sticking to one statement piece.
It's important to tailor your clothing to the industry. Mann said, for example, that a suit might look odd at a tech event, but it's perfectly normal among lawyers.
The same rules apply online, Richey said.
"You have to be aware of what's going on behind you, your hair," she told BI. "You have to be groomed. You have to dress the part, even if it's an online meeting."
Don't wait until you need a job
People often only start networking when they need a job, but experts told BI that can be a mistake.
"Whenever there's an economic down cycle and people start to get worried about their jobs, that is inevitably when networking accelerates," Clark said.
To avoid becoming just one among many asking for a favor, you should maintain relationships even when you're secure in a job. Texting with closer connections is an underrated tool, according to Clark, who advised reaching out when you're not looking for anything in return.
Keeping up relationships doesn't follow a cookie-cutter template. Mann said that connections can come from the unlikeliest of places, so it's important to chat about your interests frequently.
"Never underestimate who knows the person you want to know," she said — maybe your barber's cousin works at your dream company.
Don't make it all about you
Experts said that too many people only highlight their experiences.
"Don't focus on knowing people. Focus on noticing people," Mann said. Both she and Escalera suggest coming up with specific questions for people you find exciting.
"Having a good elevator pitch is really awesome, but what we don't want to do is make it all about you," Escalera said, which can make the process feel "robotic."
Don't ask for too much
Networking is necessarily transactional, but that transaction can be a delicate dance, the experts said.
"You have to be cognizant of power relations and power differentials in networking," Clark said, noting you can ask a friend for more favors than a distant connection.
"You need to be very targeted and strategic about your ask, and you can probably only get away with asking them one thing," she added.
Mann thinks about it as flipping the switch from asking to giving — instead of just trying to extract information, consider what you can offer the other person, even if it's something as simple as tips for a coming vacation.
No matter the conversation, gratitude is key.
"Do not forget to follow up with them the next day or within a few hours, thanking them," Mann said. "And do not forget within the coming weeks to say how you utilize their insights."