Epitaph leaves a great impression
'Now moving into my sunset years, I'm wondering what would be appropriate on my headstone, remembering Spike's 'I TOLD YOU I WAS ILL',' says Richard Stewart from the pearly gates of Pearl Beach. 'As one constantly reminded that I get things wrong, I reckon 'HE STOOD CORRECTED' will do it. Others?'
'Reading Richard Glover's column in Spectrum about courtesy merging in traffic reminded me of the New Zealand traffic proposal to 'merge like a zipper',' writes Ross Coleman of Glenbrook. 'Sage Kiwi advice.'
'Can the fairies who erected the fence near Epping Station, its ownership having been denied by Transport for NSW and Parramatta Regional Council, please pop over to my place?' asks Donald Hawes of Peel.
'While growing up and spending time making cubbies and exploring the bush, I didn't blow anything up or fire at anything (C8),' admits Michael Payne of West Pymble. 'Am I normal?'
'The harmless and jovial character of C8 has been undermined by tales of homemade weapons and improvised explosives,' suggests Meri Will of Baulkham Hills. 'In a world where there is far too much violence, this is quite disturbing. Could we please move on to topics more peace-promoting and harmonious?'
To therefore keep things Meri, Granny scoured the C8 inbox for something suitably wholesome and stumbled across the good-natured Viv Munter of Tumbi Umbi: 'I have a new-found respect for the much-maligned native plover. I've watched a pair nesting for a month. The female barely left the nest, despite cold days and rainy nights, while the male stood guard. Finally, I witnessed the joy of the first chick to emerge, a little puffball wobbling on toothpick legs. To my dismay, that same night a fox gobbled the chick and remaining eggs despite the loud protestations of the parents. A pox on the fox, I am now a committed plover lover.' Dang. It started out OK.
George Zivkovic of Northmead takes it up to 11: 'Surely I wasn't the only one reminded of This Is Spinal Tap when reading about how Sabrina Carpenter's new album cover has sparked an uproar?' Perhaps she consulted the good folk of Springfield (the animated ones, not the ones eating the pets). After all, Ms Carpenter is the niece of Nancy Cartwright, the voice of Bart Simpson, and Spinal Tap's Derek Smalls (Harry Shearer) is the voice of Ned Flanders, Montgomery Burns, Waylon Smithers, Principal Skinner and Reverend Lovejoy!
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