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Doctor explains why you're making ‘old people' noises — even if you're not elderly

Doctor explains why you're making ‘old people' noises — even if you're not elderly

New York Post08-06-2025
Welcome to Ask Doctor Zac, a weekly column from news.com.au. This week, Dr. Zac Turner explores a common issue impacting millions of Australians.
QUESTION: Dear Dr. Zac, I don't know what is happening to me but in the last 12 months I've started to make what my partner is describing as old people noises. Why is it every time I bend over to put my shoes on I groan? And why is it whenever I get up from the couch, I make a noise? Why is it when I get out of the bed? I make a noise? It's really annoying. I don't need to make these noises, and if I concentrate I can do the activity without the noise -but they creep back in later uncontrollably. Why don't I have the same energy that I used to have? What options are there for me to have more energy as I approach my 50s? – Justin, 46, Woy Woy, NSW
ANSWER: Dear Justin, Ah yes, the bitter symphony of middle age – the creaks, the cracks, the groans. You wanted a silent retreat, but your body booked you front row seats to the percussion-heavy matinee of 'Man vs. Gravity'.
Many people experience 'old people noises' when getting up or putting on their shoes.
PRPicturesProduction – stock.adobe.com
Let me reassure you: you're not falling apart, you're just … audibly adapting. And you're not alone. Millions of us hit our mid-40s and suddenly discover that bending down to tie a shoelace now comes with a full soundscape. It's like your spine has joined a garage band and didn't tell you.
So why do we suddenly sound like a haunted rocking chair? Let's break it down.
The vocal noises: Groans, grunts, sighs
These are your internal sound effects. They're caused by diaphragmatic bracing, which is your body's natural way of stabilizing your core when it anticipates effort – like standing up, sitting down, or lifting anything heavier than your dignity.
As we age, key postural muscles like the diaphragm, pelvic floor, and deep abdominals weaken. That means the body has to try harder to stabilise, and that extra effort escapes as noise – especially if you're not regularly training those muscles. Think of it like a rusty hinge: it still works, but it's going to let everyone in the room know about it.
Add to that reduced joint mobility, less efficient breathing, and the fact that your brain's motor coordination is no longer at Olympic levels – and boom! Every movement gets its own acoustic commentary.
And here's the kicker: sometimes we start making these noises even when we don't need to. Why? Because your brain's picked it up as a learned behaviour. It's the same reason tennis players grunt – except yours is involuntary, and usually accompanied by socks and a bit of swearing.
The mechanical noises: Clicks, cracks, and creaks
This is the rhythm section of the band you didn't audition for.
Clicks and pops? That's usually gas bubbles in your joints collapsing. It's called 'cavitation', and while it sounds like something that needs antibiotics, it's mostly harmless.
The noises are caused by diaphragmatic bracing, which is your body's natural way of stabilizing your core when it anticipates effort.
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Creaks? That's known as crepitus, and it happens when the cartilage in your joints thins out with age.
Snapping and shifting? That's your tendons and ligaments becoming a little less stretchy, like an old pair of Speedos.
None of this means your body's falling apart – but it is asking you (rather loudly) to pay more attention.
What to do: Quiet the chorus
You don't have to accept this as your new normal. You can get your groove (and silence) back with a few smart moves:
1. Move daily
Motion is lotion. Gentle but consistent movement keeps joints lubricated and tissues elastic. Squats, lunges, shoulder rolls – whatever gets your body grooving again.
2. Breathe like a boss
Your diaphragm isn't just for sighing dramatically – it's your secret stabilizer. Singing, swimming, even doing planks will train it to hold strong without screaming for help.
3. Strength & mobility
Add 15–20 minutes of strength work into your routine a few times a week. Resistance bands are your friend. And don't forget to stretch. Flexibility is your anti-creak.
Final thoughts: You're not breaking down – you're getting feedback
These groans and cracks aren't signs of doom. They're your body's way of saying: 'Hey mate, a little maintenance down here please?'
It's a myth that we move less because we age. In truth, we age because we move less. Staying active – or even increasing your activity – is one of the most powerful things you can do for your energy, joints, and general vibe.
If you need inspiration, look up Professor Belinda Beck right here in Australia. Her work proves that heavy resistance training (yes, even lifting!) is not only safe for people in their 50s and beyond – it's essential for reversing things like osteoporosis and keeping you strong and upright.
So next time your partner rolls their eyes at your getting-up grunt, tell them:
'That's elite performance bracing, thank you very much.'
You've got this.
– Dr. Zac
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