How Often Should Men Masturbate? An Expert Weighs In
Whether you masturbate regularly, not at all or somewhere in the middle, every person is different and understanding the role that sexual desire plays in your day-to-day life is critical for evaluating what is 'healthy'. If you engage in self-pleasure often and still lead a satisfying, healthy life, then there is no reason to alter your behaviour. However, if your compulsive masturbation is impacting your working life or relationships, you may need to consider seeing a sex therapist.
The important consideration is acknowledging that masturbation as an act is inherently human. In fact, recent studies have shown that not only is self-pleasure commonplace in Western society, but that over two in five people use sex toys at least once a week.
Image: Eleanor Hadley
How Often Should You Masturbate?
While you may have asked yourself how often you should masturbate, the answer is not always as straightforward as it seems. According to sensuality coach Eleanor Hadley, frequency is entirely dependent on your relationship with masturbation, your libido and how much partnered sex you're having.
'Everyone's body and needs vary greatly, so I would suggest doing what feels right for you. As long as you aren't noticing any patterns of dependence on masturbation, I believe a regular masturbation practice can have several health benefits,' she says. 'Self pleasure is a really healthy practice that can increase endorphins, improve sleep, reduce stress and enhance self-esteem and body image.'
Recent studies have also supported the notion that there is no 'normal' frequency for masturbation. A recent survey, conducted by sexual wellness brand The Handy in conjunction with UCLA-trained psychiatrist Dr. Sham Singh, found that some men masturbate weekly, others daily, while certain respondents claimed to hardly masturbate at all. Importantly, all of these frequencies are considered within the normal range for men.
'Masturbation is a common and healthy part of human sexuality. However, how much you want to masturbate varies from one individual to another, depending upon his or her overall lifestyle, personal relationships, and state of mind,' Dr. Sham Singh said. 'But in general terms, for most individuals, a few sessions of daily masturbation does not go out of the ordinary at all in terms of being healthy and average.'
Furthermore, Dr. Sham Singh suggested that masturbation may actually have some serious benefits. According to a 2016 study by the European Association of Urology, men who ejaculated 21 times a month or more were significantly less likely to be diagnosed with prostate cancer. This was compared to men who ejaculated four to seven times per month. While the statistics must be taken with a grain of salt, it does suggest that regular masturbation can be beneficial to overall health.
Understanding Masturbation Shame
Both Hadley and Dr. Sham Singh acknowledge that while masturbation is inherently normal, the collective shame that surrounds the topic can often make discussions about sexual health difficult. The taboo nature of self-punishment, Hadley reveals, can often be traced back to early childhood.
'Many men start masturbating quite young and depending on their upbringing, may have internalised shame or taboo around self-pleasure,' Hadley explains. 'Often it was something that they felt the need to hide or to do quickly so as not to get caught.'
According to the expert, the fear of public ridicule for the behaviour can lead to an unhealthy relationship with self-pleasure and sexual intimacy. Hadley explains that this psychological phenomenon may not serve us well in the long run, both for our self-esteem and for future relationships. Instead, she suggests breaking the cycle and changing the way you view male masturbation.
'Just like any habit, the more that we get used to doing something the same way every time, the harder it is to break. For a lot of men, they are masturbating the same way they always have – essentially training themselves to reach orgasm in one type of way and often in a short period of time,' she says. 'Switching up your masturbation routine is a really great practice to get into in order to explore new sensations and to train yourself to last longer, too. One of the biggest misconceptions around male masturbation, and sex in general, involves the use of the phrases 'climax' and 'orgasm'
Chatting with the sex expert, it's easy to get caught up in the prospect of shameless self-love, but in the real world, it's not always as simple as that. In fact, a lot of issues are spurred by a lack of knowledge. So, let's start at the top and dive into how to masturbate.
What is the Difference Between Climax & Orgasm?
One of the biggest misconceptions around male masturbation, and sex in general, involves the use of the phrases 'climax' and 'orgasm'. While we'd all like to believe we are killing it in the bedroom each and every time, whether that be by ourselves or with a partner, understanding the stark differences between the two is important. According to Hadley, if you understand your own body, you're much more equipped to satisfy someone else's.
Climax – A climax refers to the peak point of pleasure, where your pelvic floor muscles involuntarily contract and is often short and sharp, like reaching the top of the mountain. You can make your way up, then quickly drop down again.
– A climax refers to the peak point of pleasure, where your pelvic floor muscles involuntarily contract and is often short and sharp, like reaching the top of the mountain. You can make your way up, then quickly drop down again. Orgasm – An orgasm refers to the deep feeling of pleasure and relaxation you experience just before reaching that point. Most often, ejaculation occurs at the same time as orgasm, but they can actually occur independently of one another. And, as mentioned before, it is entirely possible to experience orgasm without ejaculation, with practice.
Can You Masturbate Too Much?
While it might seem improbable, masturbating too much is a common concern. As bodybuilders and fitness nuts know, even healthy habits can become unhealthy if done in excess or to an extreme. Sadly, this is also true of masturbation. Just how much is too much, however, varies from person to person. In a 2020 interview with MBG, sex and relationship therapist Shadeen Francis, LMFT, explained that some people masturbate several times a day with no negative outcomes.
'There is no objective measure of how much anyone should masturbate,' Francis said. 'Your health is an individual consideration. If your masturbation habits are causing you mental, emotional, relational, or physical distress, that is an indicator that you may be masturbating more than is currently healthy for you.'
What Happens When You Abstain from Masturbation?
While male masturbation is considered healthy and perfectly normal, not everyone indulges in the act. This may be due to religious or spiritual reasons, cultural concerns or simply because they just don't like it; this is also very common. In terms of benefits and risks, abstaining from masturbation has its anecdotal evidence, but nothing overly concrete. A 2003 study published in the Zhejiang University Press suggested that no masturbating may be linked to increased testosterone, however, the test was focused more on short term behaviour.
A lot of men believe in the act of semen retention. By all accounts, this spiritual sexual practice sees people avoid ejaculation 'because they believe semen is a source of life force energy'. According to Hadley, there is no scientific evidence that reports semen retention being specifically beneficial or harmful.
'Many men choose to abstain from masturbation or more specifically, ejaculation, to enjoy longer sex when with a partner,' she says. 'This a tao and tantric practice referred to as semen retention in which you intentionally avoid ejaculation while energetically channelling your sexual energy in order to experience more powerful orgasms.'
Image: Frenchie
How to Improve the Intensity of Your Orgasm
With the basics covered, we turned to sensuality coach Eleanor Hadley for advice on how to make the most of your masturbation time. Focusing on improving the intensity of your orgasms, Hadley revealed five key tips to incorporate into your routine. Here's what she had to say:
1. Take Your Time
When you rush to the end goal, you'll often experience a short, sharp peak followed by a quick decline in pleasure. When you take your time to slowly build up before reaching your climax, you'll experience much more intense orgasms as a result.
2. Practice Edging
This is a really great practice if you're struggling to slow down. When you feel yourself getting towards the point of no return, simply hold back a bit, slow down or move your focus elsewhere. Then start self-pleasuring again until you reach that point once more. Repeating this pattern multiple times will lead to far more powerful orgasms and help you last even longer.
3. Lube Up
Make your self-pleasure sessions much more enjoyable by using plenty of natural lubricant, like Frenchie's Oh La La Love Lube. Using lube increases pleasure, mitigates the risk of abrasions due to friction on the delicate tissue of the penis, and intensifies orgasms.
4. Breathe Deeply
Tuning in to your breath and taking long, slow, deep breaths during masturbation can help to channel your sexual energy upwards throughout the body, allowing for full-body orgasms. When you breathe deeply, you oxygenate your blood and increase blood flow, resulting in deeper pleasure. Rather than holding your breath at the point of orgasm, try visualising your breath moving up along your spine towards your head. With practice, this can lead to much more intense orgasms.
5. Explore Different Sensations
Explore the world of blended orgasms by adding in different sensations to your usual masturbation routine. Try touching different parts of your body at the same time as stimulating your penis such as your nipples, neck, thighs, anus. Adding in a sex toy such as Frenchie's Double Entendre is a great way to add in more sensation and increase orgasmic potential. You can try turning the vibration on and holding it to the tip of your penis, curving the flexible body of the vibe around your shaft or exploring anal pleasure. Variety is the key to enhanced pleasure and heightened orgasms.
How Often Should Men Masturbate FAQs
How often should men be masturbating?'
There is no official consensus on how often you should masturbate. According to sensuality coach, Eleanor Hadley, everyone's body and needs vary greatly. Provided you lead a satisfying, healthy life, then there is no reason to alter your behaviour. However, if your compulsive masturbation is impacting your working life or relationships, you may need to consider seeing a sex therapist.
What is the difference between climax and orgasm?
A climax refers to the peak point of pleasure, where your pelvic floor muscles involuntarily contract and is often short and sharp, like reaching the top of the mountain. Whereas an orgasm refers to the deep feeling of pleasure and relaxation you experience just before reaching that point.
What happens when you abstain from masturbation?
Many men choose to abstain from masturbation or more specifically, ejaculation, to enjoy longer sex when with a partner. This a tao and tantric practice referred to as semen retention in which you intentionally avoid ejaculation while energetically channelling your sexual energy in order to experience more powerful orgasms. There is no scientific evidence, however, that reports semen retention being specifically beneficial or harmful.
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