The Success Recoil: Why We Sabotage Ourselves When We're Winning

Forbes

6 days ago

Veronica Angela, PCC, CONQUER EDGE - Corporate & Executive Training - Owner.
You work hard. You set ambitious goals. You push through challenges.
Then, finally, success starts happening. The dream you once imagined is becoming real. But instead of fully embracing it, something unexpected happens ...
You hesitate. You procrastinate. You second-guess yourself. A voice inside whispers: Can I really handle this? What if I mess it all up? Maybe I should slow down ...
This isn't just self-doubt. It's what I call the success recoil, the subconscious pullback we experience when we start achieving what we once only dreamed of.
Why Does The Success Recoil Happen?
Success changes your identity. When you start expanding beyond your old self, your subconscious panics. It sees the unknown as a threat, even if that unknown is exactly what you wanted.
This recoil isn't logical. It's emotional. And it happens to even the most driven people.
• You suddenly feel unmotivated, even though you're winning.
• You create unnecessary problems or distractions.
• You avoid decisions that would move you forward.
• You tell yourself you're 'too busy' to take the next step.
• You start doubting your own abilities (even though you've already proven them).
It's like hitting the gas and the brakes at the same time. Consciously, you want success. Subconsciously, you're resisting it.
Psychologically, the success recoil taps into what Carl Jung called the shadow self: the parts of us we tend to hide because they feel too raw or vulnerable. As success nears, those repressed fears, feelings of unworthiness or the anxiety of being exposed can surface unexpectedly. They manifest as hesitation, procrastination or outright avoidance of new opportunities.
The Fear Of Expansion: A Psychological Threshold
Another key aspect of the success recoil is what I call the threshold of expansion. This is the moment when you're poised to push past your current limits, when the success you've worked for suddenly requires you to grow in ways that feel intimidating. Crossing that threshold means venturing into unfamiliar territory, and that discomfort can trigger an almost reflexive retreat.
Our minds are wired to favor the familiar. Even when we consciously crave growth, the sudden leap into the unknown can overwhelm our subconscious, leading us to pull back. This recoil isn't a sign that we're incapable; it's simply our inner self's way of warning us that change is on the horizon.
How To Stop Sabotaging Yourself And Keep Moving Forward
The good news? You don't have to stay stuck in the success recoil. Here's how to break through:
The first step is awareness. When you notice yourself hesitating, delaying or shrinking back, pause and ask: 'Is this a real problem, or am I resisting success?'
Once you see the recoil happening, you take away its power.
Instead of thinking, 'This is too big for me,' reframe it as:
• 'This is an exciting new level.'
• 'This means I'm growing.'
• 'I am allowed to succeed.'
Your subconscious will always try to keep you in the familiar. But you are not your subconscious. You get to decide.
Action breaks the cycle. Don't wait for the fear to go away; move forward despite it.
• Make the phone call.
• Launch the project.
• Say yes to the opportunity.
• Reach out for support—whether from a coach, a friend, a mentor or a colleague—to help validate direction and keep momentum.
Momentum is the antidote to recoil. Once you take the next step, the fear starts to dissolve.
Success isn't something you 'get lucky' to have. It's something you become.
• You earned this.
• You belong here.
• You can handle it.
The more you practice stepping into your success, the more natural it will feel.
Final Thought: Step Forward Anyway
Success recoil is normal, but it doesn't have to control you. Every time you push through, you expand into a new version of yourself, one that's ready to own the success you once only dreamed of.
So, when that voice tells you to pull back, do the opposite. Step forward. You've already done the hard work to get here. Now it's time to let yourself rise.
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