'I'm scared dad will die in hospital 140 miles away'
Bernard Mendoza, 83, who has dementia, had to be moved from his Wrexham care home after he became aggressive towards staff and other residents, but the nearest suitable bed was in Northampton.
His son Danny Mendoza has called the system "broken", and is worried about his father "passing away in there, and being so far from home".
Betsi Cadwaladr health board said it was "extremely sorry," and wanted to bring him home as soon as possible.
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Earlier this year, Danny, 54, from Gresford in Wrexham, told BBC Wales how he had been the sole unpaid carer for his father after he developed dementia three years ago.
But the isolation of "living like a hermit" pushed Danny to "breaking point", and his father was eventually offered a place in a Wrexham care home.
Bernard settled in well and Danny was able to visit daily.
But in recent weeks his father's condition has worsened, and after several incidents of aggression towards staff and residents, Danny agreed he needed to go into a mental health hospital.
Danny said his father had become so aggressive he was sectioned under the Mental Health Act, but was told the only suitable place available to care for him was a two hour and 40 minute drive away at St Andrew's Hospital in Northampton – a £40 trip Danny can only afford to make once or twice a week.
He said: "It's appalling – not a single bed in north Wales, or the whole of Wales?
"It's not going to help me, it's not helping dad, it's not going to help the staff who look after him to settle him. It's not right.
"The time I've got left with my dad is precious. I don't know how long we've got left, and that's why I need him somewhere close to home, so I can spend time with him – what time he's got left.
"It's just the fear of him passing away in there and being so far from home."
Danny said it was upsetting seeing his dad so "badly confused" as he does not know where he is, staying in a "strange hospital".
Danny said he felt "powerless" and racked with "guilt".
"I just want to be there for dad," he said.
"He needs love, he needs support. And having my dad placed in Northampton, it's just having a huge impact on me. It's just so upsetting that we can't do better in this day and age."
Danny said he completely understood his father had become a risk to himself and others, and needed to be moved to a more specialised environment.
But he fears other families could have loved ones being cared for hours away, and said funding for more suitable beds and treatment closer to home was urgently needed.
"We've got an ageing population. Unless the funding keeps pace with demand, then the system is going to collapse."
He said people deserved "more respect than that" when they age and become ill with dementia.
Charity Carers Wales said Danny's situation was "quite a common occurrence".
Rob Simkins, head of policy and public affairs, added: "I just think it's a really sorry state of affairs that in 2025, in one of the richest countries in the world, people are having to travel two-and-a-half hours to go and look after the people they provide care for, or go and visit them.
"I think we can do better than that in Wales."
Mr Simkins said it painted a picture where there was not enough infrastructure close to people and their families, putting "additional stresses and strains on carers trying to help and support the people they provide care for".
"We need to get it sorted, and quickly," he added.
Teresa Owen, an executive director at Betsi Cadwaldr health board, said: "I am extremely sorry for the situation Mr Mendoza and his son find themselves in.
"Unfortunately, we work in an extremely pressured system and sometimes we do not have the capacity to admit to our own facilities in complex cases like these.
"Sadly, there was no-one available to us to provide the type of care Mr Mendoza needed closer to his home, at the time he needed help.
"We are focused on him receiving the best care and bringing him back home as quickly as possible."
The health board's mental health and learning disability team's east division has four patients at St Andrew's.
The number of patients has decreased in the past year, but there is "still more work to do," she added.
"You can be assured this is a priority for us, as we want people to be closer to their homes and their families."
The Welsh government said it provided £12.7m a year to support implementing its dementia action plan.
It added: "Our mental health and wellbeing strategy aims to ensure when people need support, care or treatment, they will be able to access a range of services seamlessly and delivered as close to home as possible."

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