‘He has told me he will kill me and I believe he will do so,' wife tells domestic violence court
'He has told me he will kill me and I believe he will do so,' the woman told the emergency domestic violence court in
Dublin
's Dolphin House.
Her husband grabbed her by the back of the head when she confronted him about having an affair, punched her in the back of the head and dragged her out of their house, she said.
On other occasions, he threw candle holders and glass food jars at her, one of which cut her foot open when it smashed, she claimed. He smashed her watch and phones, threw her clothes and other possessions out of the house and damaged her car, the court heard.
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Judge Gerard Furlong told the woman on Friday he would grant her ex parte – one side only represented – application for an interim barring order and returned the matter to next week.
In another of about 20 ex-parte applications, a man got a protection order against his wife, whom he alleged is physically and verbally abusive to him, including hitting him with a mop while he was in the bath and scratching his neck with her nails.
She has thrown food and cups of hot tea over him while he was lying down in bed, threatened to make him homeless and put down his dogs, threatened to get three men to kill him, and has sent abusive videos and phone messages, he said.
She had said she would stab him to death when he is asleep, he claimed. He sleeps with his medication in his underwear because she tries to take it, he added.
In another application, a father who said he is 'in fear for my life' from his adult son was granted an interim barring order against him.
His son, aged in his 30s, is very violent, has psychosis and is constantly on drugs, he said. His son forced his way into his home after his recent release from prison, refused to leave, was constantly abusive and threatened to beat him.
He immediately called gardaí but his son said they would not come 'for ages' and had told him, if he pursued a barring order, he would smash all his windows.
The man said he has several health issues, the situation is causing him anxiety and fear but gardaí have been 'fantastic' in their response.
'They have inundated me with welfare checks. If I was younger, I'd love to be a guard.'
In a different application, a woman said she and her husband had been advised by gardaí to leave their rented council home due to safety concerns. Her adult daughters have changed the locks and are facilitating a gang who want to store stolen material in the house, she said.
She and her husband have been in bed-and-breakfast accommodation for some weeks now and do not want to go back to the family home due to fear, she said. She wanted to get her belongings from the house but was concerned to ensure her safety while doing so.
Her daughters are not paying the rent – she pays it, but she cannot afford to continue as well as paying the B&B costs, she said. She wanted her daughters out of the house, which would facilitate her getting alternative emergency accommodation for which she has been approved.
The judge said he would grant protection orders so the woman could retrieve her belongings, but he could not grant an interim barring order as the woman sought. This was not a domestic violence situation, he said, and gardaí would have to deal with the gang. As tenancy issues also arose, the woman could seek an injunction to get her daughters out of the house. He urged her to seek legal advice.
Another woman who said she had lived in an abusive marriage for years, including being subject to bullying, financial abuse and body shaming, sought an interim barring order against her husband. She found out earlier this year he had a 'double life' with another wife and child, and since then he had been 'acting crazy', shouting and screaming at her and saying he was going to make her life 'unbearable', she said.
She does not feel safe and is in constant fear due to her husband's deceit, the woman said. 'I don't want to die in this marriage.'
The judge said the man's secret life was not a ground for an ex parte interim barring order, but he would grant a protection order and the woman could renew her barring application when both sides were represented. She could seek a divorce, he told the woman.
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Perdue mentions former US first lady Michelle Obama, who recently spoke publicly about the help she needed as a 60-year-old to 'transition' into a life after her daughters left home. 'She was saying she had to have counselling ... I was delighted to hear her say that.' Returning to the subject of her time in England, she smiles with pleasure. 'It was a nice full-circle moment, because I stayed with my daughters in London, and went from the mummy minding them ... to them going 'Now, look, I'll put the app on your phone', and telling me what stop to get on, and only stopping short of making my school lunch.' It was a special time in her life. 'And writing gave me the courage to do that,' she says. The Night I Killed Him by Gill Perdue is published by Penguin Sandycove
