
Why now is the time to visit otherworldly Turkmenistan
Of all the visitable Stans, Turkmenistan is considered the least Westernised, least visited (with just 15,000 foreign visitors annually) and most secretive. However, the recent announcement that the country will do away with the formalities of a letter of invitation, to be replaced with an e-visa (when and how has yet to be clarified) slightly reduces its quirkiness – but it will make arranging a visit less onerous, especially for independent travellers.
So what's in store for those who hop on the six-hour flight from London Gatwick?
The capital, Ashgabat (population: just over a million), has been rebuilt in the last two decades with profits from the country's considerable gas reserves. Historic sites, canals and old trees have been removed to make space for kitsch-meets-bling mega-monuments, bombastic government palaces and sleek high-rise apartment blocks.
In 2013, Guinness, ever on the lookout for daft new records, declared Ashgabat to have the 'highest density of white marble-clad buildings in the world'. The statistic claimed is 48,583,619 square feet; whoever measured it deserves a Guinness entry for dodging Turkmen security. The main drag, Bitarap Türkmenistan Şayoly, had 170 marble buildings at the last count.
Some of the buildings and monuments are otherworldly in their scale and conception. The Wedding Palace is a 410,000 square-foot registry office topped by a disco ball inside a frame of eight-point stars. The Arch of Neutrality is a rocket-like tripod with lifts up its splayed legs and awesome views of the city's Brasilia-style roads and general whiteness.
The Gypjak Mosque can accommodate ten thousand worshippers, and houses both the Koran and the Rhunama, or Book of the Soul, written by the first post-USSR president, Saparmurat Niyazov – nicknamed Turkmenbashi or 'Head of the Turkmen' – who closed all libraries and hospitals outside the capital and proscribed ballet dancing, beards and the word for 'bread'. A huge monument to the pink-edged, green-jacketed Rhunama is found inside Independence Park.
Ashgabat has the world's largest ferris wheel, its largest equestrian statue (Ahal-Teke horses, as once gifted to Queen Elizabeth by Nikita Kruschchev) and used to have the world's highest unsupported flagpole (until Egypt unveiled an even bigger erection). It's also reported that as many as 90 per cent of the cars on its roads are white – owing (depending which source you choose to believe) to a rumoured crackdown on all cars of other colours in 2018, to former-president Berdymukhammedov's alleged personal preference for white vehicles, or to the fact that the colour is considered to be lucky.
The Tolkuchka bazaar (also known as Altyn Asyr Bazaar), a 20-minute drive from downtown Ashgabat, affords visitors a glimpse of older Turkmen ways. Its shape is meant to resemble a Turkmen carpet and while it's only the fifth largest in Central Asia, it covers 250 acres. Stalls sell spices, fake Rolexes, livestock, carpets, souvenirs, vegetables and fruit. Melons are a specialism; Turkmenistan has a crossbreed muskmelon called the Turkmenbashi melon. The second Sunday in August is National Melon Day.
Turkmenistan is twice the size of the UK, almost as big as Spain. It has more than three thousand miles of railways, including lines to Uzbekistan and Kazakhstan, Iran and Russia, and the 336-mile Trans-Karakum Railway across the desert of the same name. The most celebrated 'sight' here is the Gates of Hell gas crater at Darvaza, burning since the Eighties when someone took out a match to prevent the emission of poisonous gases caused by a gas field's collapse twenty years earlier.
A long, Milton-esque stairway in a cave at the foot of a mountain leads to the Köw Ata Underground Lake, where you can swim in sulphurous waters. Ancient Merv is a Unesco World Heritage site, a repository of 4,000 years of history and 'the oldest and best-preserved of the oasis-cities along the Silk Route in Central Asia '.
Nokhur cemetery in southern Turkmenistan contains tombstones decorated with mountain goat horns – believed by the Nokhuris (who claim to have descended from Alexander the Great's soldiers) to protect against evil spirits. Animism, Islam and Zoroastrianism are routinely melded, causing some traditional Muslims to take umbrage at Turkmenistan's bespoke approach to theology.
The country is dotted with photogenic rock-scapes. Yangykala Canyon is the one that you see most often on promotional material, with its striated limestone walls rising out of an ancient seabed.
Turkmenistan is a de facto one-party state with no serious opposition permitted. Should that put anyone off? Only if you also want to discard China, Cuba, Vietnam, Laos, Eritrea; the US is a de facto two-party state and is more likely to go in the other direction than to suddenly announce a trio of options.
Turkmenistan has some of the slowest and most tightly controlled internet – positive messaging only is firmly encouraged – which is, of course, a major issue for locals. Youtube, WhatsApp and Facebook are blocked. There's no roaming. All in all, it's also an excuse for tourists to switch off and forget screens and report back on their experiences once they get home.
Essentials
For the time being, a letter of invitation is required (though this will be retired with the introduction of the new e-visa); tour firms will usually take care of the red tape. The FCDO also advises, 'while Turkmenistan doesn't require COVID-19 vaccination, all travellers must undergo a COVID-19 test upon arrival, which costs about 31 US dollars'.
The five-star Yyldyz Hotel has doubles from £234 per night.
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