Alex Cooper on Why She Waited 10 Years to Go Public With Sexual Harassment Claims Against Her College Coach
Gilbert Carrasquillo
Alex Cooper isn't afraid to go there with guests on her hugely popular and extremely frank podcast, Call Her Daddy. But there's one part of her life she hasn't spoken publicly about, until now: In her new Hulu docuseries, Call Her Alex, Cooper alleges that she was sexually harassed by her college soccer coach at Boston University, Nancy Feldman. The harassment was so severe, she says in the series, that she quit the team before her senior year.
In part one of the series, which debuted at the Tribeca Festival on Sunday, June 8, Cooper alleges that her coach began 'fixating' on her 'way more than any other teammate of mine.'
She recalled that her coach's interest 'was all based in her wanting to know who I was dating, her making comments about my body, and her always wanting to be alone with me.' At one point, Cooper alleges, Feldman pulled her aside to scold her for spending the night off campus, and to ask if Cooper had had sex the night before.
'It was this psychotic game of, 'You want to play? Tell me about your sex life,'' Cooper said in the documentary. 'I felt so deeply uncomfortable.' Glamour has reached out to both Feldman and Boston University for comment.
During a panel following the screening alongside Call Her Alex director Ry Russo Young, Cooper explained why it had taken her 10 years to come forward with the allegations of misconduct.
'I still feel so small,' Cooper told moderator Orna Guralnik, a clinical psychologist and host of Couples Therapy on Showtime. 'Part of why I struggled [coming forward] was because the person who abused their power over me and harassed me is a woman. I really struggled with that for a really long time because I didn't want [the story] to undermine everything I stand for: Fuck the patriarchy, fuck misogyny.'
She recalls wondering, Will this take away from the message? but has since gained the confidence to tell her story. 'It is a position of power, and if someone is abusing it, it's wrong. Full stop,' said Cooper. 'It doesn't matter what sex, full stop.'
The Unwell founder choked up as she added, 'I'm just happy I got that out there, but I still feel anxious.' The largely female audience, many self-identified members of Daddy Gang, gave her a roaring round of applause as she wiped away tears.
In Call Her Alex, Cooper alleges that the harassment was ongoing for years. However, she says she remained quiet out of fear that her full-ride scholarship would be rescinded if she spoke up. But eventually, as Cooper details in the documentary, ahead of her senior year Cooper and her parents decided to complain about the coach's alleged behavior to the university's director of athletics.
Cooper's parents recalled in the documentary that they went into the meeting armed with a book of handwritten notes—Cooper's mother says she had taken them down during phone calls with her daughter about the alleged harassment. In the docuseries Cooper alleges that the athletic director refused to even look at the notes, telling her that the school would not remove Feldman from her position. It was then that Cooper says she made the decision to quit the team. She says the school allowed her to keep her scholarship.
Speaking to the crowd at the Tribeca Festival, Cooper said her experience 'doesn't define me, but it does help to talk about it. It doesn't mean I'm not scared shitless, it doesn't mean I'm not scared of retaliation or judgment. People are going to pick this apart—I understand—but speaking about it has almost allowed me to get one step closer to reclaiming this thing that has felt like a dark cloud over my life.'
She continued, 'I think there's something about being someone who's very public about my life, I'm just kind of in awe at how I felt coming forward—scared, nervous, I doubted myself, and I think a lot of this process made me realize if I have the finances to pay for a lawyer, and if I have the resources to do all of these things, how is another woman going to feel comfortable coming forward? Like, I'm still fucking scared up here.'
'I was nobody when I was in college,' she continued. 'I did come forward. I was denied, essentially. The story is frustrating because I want to tell women, 'Come forward,' but I did, and I wasn't believed, and then it took me a decade. I'm not ashamed that it took me 10 years, but it makes me question a lot, and I think this documentary—as difficult as it was to explore, I actually think this is just the beginning.'
Moving forward, however, Cooper says she hopes to use her platform to become reacquainted with the world of women's soccer through her brand Unwell Hydration's partnership with the National Women's Soccer League .
'That felt really good,' she said of the deal. 'I feel like that's a good 'fuck you.''
Call Her Alex premieres June 10 on Hulu.
Originally Appeared on Glamour
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